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Well, that’s a great question and the answer is completely up to you @Frazzled!
Would you be going to bed around 8:30 PM — 9:00 PM because that feels like the right time for you to go to bed and would fit your lifestyle?
Or, would you be going to bed at that time in an effort to make sleep happen or in an attempt to control sleep?
If it’s the latter, does your experience tell you that sleep responds well to effort? Does your experience tell you that sleep can be directly controlled?
Something else to consider is that if you go to bed around 8:30 PM and typically wake/get up at 5:30 AM, you’d be allotting 9 hours for sleep at night. Does that seem appropriate?
I hope there’s something useful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds difficult.
When sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern in the past, how did you approach it? Is your approach today different compared to back then? If so, are there any insights there?
As for sleep disruption caused by the pressure we might put on ourselves due to upcoming exams (or anything else that’s important), you might find my podcast episode with Wayne helpful: How Wayne improved his sleep by thinking of sleep as a friend that doesn’t need to be controlled (#36).
I hope there’s something useful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @mmaringer27 and welcome to the forum!
First, allow me to reassure you that there’s no evidence that chronic insomnia causes psychosis or any other health issue for that matter.
As for the self-monitoring, that’s something the brain usually does as it goes about its job of looking out for us. If we try to fight that, we’re likely to end up struggling — has that been your experience?
If so, an alternative approach that involves allowing the mind to self-monitor might help reduce your level of struggle. Self-monitoring doesn’t stop sleep from happening, but trying to control the mind sure can make things more difficult!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You might want to start with my free sleep training for insomnia course, @Vicmango7.
If you want to go a step further, you may want to consider either my six-week online course or my phone coaching package.
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If you go to bed at 10:00 PM (are you always sleepy enough for sleep at 10:00 PM?) and you get out of bed at 6:30 AM that means you are allotting 8.5 hours for sleep.
Do you typically get close to 8.5 hours of sleep? If so, that sounds perfectly fine!
If not, perhaps you might be setting yourself up for some wakefulness during the night — and, if that tends to create a struggle, you might want to allot an amount of time for sleep that’s a bit closer to your average nightly sleep duration.
This will hopefully make a bit more sense once you finish working through the sleep window lessons in Week 1 — please let me know if there’s any ongoing confusion once you’ve done that or if you have any other questions!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s totally natural to feel frustrated and even defeated if progress doesn’t meet your hopes or expectations — it’s good to know that you found the “Your Progress” video helpful in relation to this.
I think that many of us set goals that we cannot directly control — perhaps that’s human nature! If we are struggling with sleep, it makes sense that our goal might be to generate a certain amount or type of sleep.
And yet, since we cannot directly control sleep, we are virtually setting ourselves up for disappointment, frustration, and defeat with a goal like that (and we are more likely to struggle).
This is where it can be helpful to ensure that our goals are actions-based — because we can always control our actions.
Something that can help with this is to ask ourselves what we’d be doing (or doing more of) if we were getting the exact amount and type of sleep we’d like to be getting — and then to focus on doing those things (or moving toward doing more of those things or doing stuff related to those things).
This way, we continue to do things that matter, continue to move toward the life we want to live, and reduce the power and influence sleep might have over our lives, even in the presence of insomnia and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings.
When sleep has less power and influence over our lives, we might be less inclined to try controlling it — something that only creates a struggle that makes things more difficult.
I would also encourage you to be kind to yourself and to remind yourself that you’re learning new skills — and, like with all skills, they require ongoing practice (and there are always ups and downs along the way).
Your brain will do whatever it chooses to do — you can’t control that, but you can control how you respond to what your brain chooses to do 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Shifting focus onto our daytime activities (something we can control) is something that many people find helpful, GenieB! Thanks for sharing that little nugget with us 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It doesn’t sound as though there’s much of a struggle going on there, Nina!
Are you observing any kind of sleep window at the current time? If so, what time does it start and what time does it end?
Can you think of anything you’d be doing differently if your were generating more sleep at night? Is there anything you’d like to be doing now that you feel unable to do because of how you sleep at the current time?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Wow, I love it! It sounds as though you’ve come up with a visualization that helps you practice experiencing fatigue with a bit less struggle (rather than engaging in a battle with it) — I love the creativity 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Kirstin and thanks for the great questions!
Yes, that nervousness before going to bed is totally normal! It’s often caused by your brain firing up to protect you from what it believes is the threat of being awake at night.
It sounds as though your experience tells you that trying to calm yourself down or trying to control what you think or how you feel isn’t a workable strategy. And, that makes sense (I am yet to meet someone who is able to directly and permanently control their thoughts and feelings in this way)!
Often, when we try to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings they can end up becoming more difficult as we can then get tangled up in a big struggle with them.
And so, an alternative approach might involve practicing and developing skill in experiencing those thoughts and feeling with less struggle — allowing them to come and go as they choose. This is where practicing the AWAKE exercise might be helpful. Is that something you’ve tried yet?
As for your second question, I suspect it follows along the lines of your first question — anxiety/worry shows up and you then (totally understandably!) try to get rid of that worry/anxiety, which creates a struggle that makes things more difficult. And so, perhaps an alternative approach might be helpful.
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome aboard, Bea! As you’ve already seen from the wonderfully supportive post from @ktkoch you are not alone!
It’s totally normal for you to experience feelings of doubt that this course will help — that’s your brain doing its job and looking out for you! No need to push those feelings away — perhaps you might want to thank your brain for looking out for you instead 🙂
If you are willing to engage in the course and explore what is shared here with an open and curious mind, and if you are willing to experiment with a new approach, I am confident you’ll find the course helpful.
I’d also encourage you to be kind to yourself when things feel difficult — because when things feel difficult, they are difficult.
I wish you all the best 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s so good to hear that you’re practicing being kind to yourself! When sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern, did you need to take THC and CBN in order to generate sleep? If not, what might that suggest?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As suggested by @GenieB, I’d suggest discussing your concerns with your doctor, @Czor.
If there’s no medical explanation for the sensations you described, they could very well be physical symptoms of hyperarousal — but I’d suggest seeking medical advice just to be sure.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Chris and thanks for starting that you’re practicing the AWAKE and NOW exercises — and there’s definitely no need to get out of bed just because you’re awake at night!
The physical symptoms of fatigue can be really difficult — no doubt about it. Does your experience tell you that you can directly and permanently eliminate fatigue through effort? If not, what do you feel might be the most workable way of responding to the physical symptoms of fatigue?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @emandk!
Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. And, when we wake during the night we can feel wide awake and alert and we can feel really sleepy/groggy. And, we can feel anywhere in between!
There’s no need to practice the AWAKE exercise just because you are awake, or just because you notice that you’re feeling a bit annoyed. However, if you find yourself really struggling with being awake or with the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings — if you find that you are engaging in a battle with then, trying to defeat them — then that might be a useful time to practice the AWAKE exercise.
From your description, it doesn’t really sound as though you are getting tangled up in a battle when you wake in the night without feeling fully awake — so perhaps you might simply allow yourself to rest rather than practicing the AWAKE exercise at times like that?
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
