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Thoughts and feelings are human. Sleep can happen no matter what thoughts and feelings are present. So, yes — it is normal to still think about sleep 🙂
Trying to fight or avoid thoughts and feelings is understandable and it often pulls us into an exhausting (and endless) battle with our minds. And sleep is perhaps less likely to happen if we engaged in a war!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If an approach of acceptance is what you are working toward, it sounds like you are on the right track!
Acceptance is an action-based skill and skills usually take time and ongoing practice to develop. There are usually ups and downs along the way, too.
I’m curious — what needs to happen for the hard nights to become easier?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum @Toneman!
Acceptance is far easier said than done, just as you said! It usually requires ongoing practice, too. And, if your goal with accepting you might not sleep is for sleep to happen, is that true acceptance?
As for how to switch your mind off on command, if you figure that one out let me know first and we can be trillionaires together 😉
Since the human brain is active and generating thoughts 24/7, it knows how to generate sleep no matter what you are thinking or feeling. So trying to switch off your mind might be a distraction that’s only consuming more energy and attention and making things even more difficult.
If that’s not the obstacle, what could be? Perhaps this question might help:
If you think back to when sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern, what were you doing back then to make sleep happen so effortlessly?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @SpeedofLight 🙂
First, to answer your questions:
1. Sleep restriction: Do people do this who have to drive to work?
Yes. People with insomnia rarely fall asleep without warning during the day (they tend to be “tired but wired” rather than excessively sleepy). However, you are the expert on you and if it feels unsafe for you to drive then it’s important not to drive.
2. Do people find they are overwhelmingly sleepy but refuse to go to bed before bedtime, then the drowsiness fades and doesn’t come back?
This is very common. When there’s no effort or pressure to sleep (and your brain isn’t trying to protect you from the perceived threat of insomnia) conditions are good for sleep (and sleepiness). When you go to bed, one or more of those things (effort, pressure, perceived threat level) changes — and that can suppress the sensation of sleepiness.
Moving on from those questions, and to address the additional posts here:
You are clearly a powerful problem-solver, with superpowers of self-reflection, honesty, and curiosity. You’ve also learned a lot from your experience. These are all resources you can draw from as you continue to move forward.
Sleep confidence is great to have and sleep confidence isn’t needed for sleep to happen (just as breathing confidence isn’t needed for breathing to happen).
As your experience seems to tell you, it’s not really possible to “not worry”, “not think”, or “not care” about certain things — not genuinely and permanently, at least. The more you try, the more those things consume your focus, energy, and attention (and perhaps the more likely they are to create a struggle that makes things even more difficult).
Your experience tells you that when worry shows up, sleep might not happen. It also tells you that without worry, sleep might not happen. So the presence worry itself doesn’t seem to be a factor in whether or not you’ll get the amount or type of sleep you want to get.
So, something else must be at play here. Can you recall a time when sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern for you? If so, what did you do to make it happen so effortlessly?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing this part of your journey with us all 🙂
You have a clear plan in place for how to approach sleep, how to respond when sleep doesn’t happen as you might want it to, and how to deal with the difficult thoughts and feelings that might show up for as long as you are a human being.
Your actions better reflect who you are and the life you want to live. Your focus has shifted away from sleep and toward living your life. As a result, the stage has been set for sleep to take care of itself and difficult thoughts and feelings do not rule over your life.
Thank you for sharing the specific nuances and changes you made that you found particularly beneficial. This demonstrates that everyone’s journey is their own and that everyone is the expert on themselves!
What matters more than any exercise or tool shared in this course is whether your actions are creating more struggle, leaving you feeling stuck, or moving you in the direction you want to be heading.
I appreciate your kind words. I was merely your guide. You took the action. You did the work. You drew on your growth mindset, your problem-solving abilities, and your superpowers of self-reflection, self-awareness, commitment, and resilience to move forward and gain the insights you shared.
I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are reclaiming your life from insomnia as you commit to actions that better reflect who you are and the life you want to live. It’s clear that moving away from medication matters to you.
Your experience is reminding you that you cannot control sleep but you can control your actions. And your actions determine how much power and influence sleep has over your life and the kind of life you live.
Your optimism shines through as you give yourself the opportunity to notice bright spots and positive moments and experiences even when things are difficult.
I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward, with kindness and patience for yourself.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, @Slumberseeker — you are not alone!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! It sounds as though you are looking for an alternative to medication now that’s no longer an option. Without that alternative, you feel uncertain how you can move forward and you are doubting your natural ability to sleep (even though that never went away and never goes away).
People cope with emotions in all different ways. What matters most is how you cope. How you respond. How do you currently respond, and what are you learning from that?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are being flexible and you are being kind to yourself. You are clearly continuing to move closer to where you want to be, @Johnny! 🙌
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing this part of your journey with us all 🙂
You have a clear plan in place for how to approach sleep, how to respond when sleep doesn’t happen as you might want it to, and how to deal with the difficult thoughts and feelings that might show up for as long as you are a human being.
Your actions better reflect who you are and the life you want to live. Your focus has shifted away from sleep and toward living your life. As a result, the stage has been set for sleep to take care of itself and difficult thoughts and feelings do not rule over your life.
Thank you for sharing the specific nuances and changes you made that you found particularly beneficial. This demonstrates that everyone’s journey is their own and that everyone is the expert on themselves!
What matters more than any exercise or tool shared in this course is whether your actions are creating more struggle, leaving you feeling stuck, or moving you in the direction you want to be heading.
I appreciate your kind words. I was merely your guide. You took the action. You did the work. You drew on your growth mindset, your problem-solving abilities, and your superpowers of self-reflection, self-awareness, commitment, and resilience to move forward and gain the insights you shared.
I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re a gifted problem solver! I’d invite you to consider your answers to some of these questions since they might offer some additional insight:
1. If you were doing the exercises correctly, what would be different?
2. If a lack of sleep drive was your main problem, what makes it so hard to stay awake during the day?
3. If you were doing better at sitting with your feelings, what would be different?
This feels difficult because it is difficult. You are learning new skills and that takes time and effort. It’s not easy. You are highly skilled at the “old way” you dealt with insomnia (the way that you know from experience didn’t help you). It’ll take time to develop similar skill in the “new way”!
With that in mind, it’s good to know you are being kind to yourself as you continue on your journey. You are not alone!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Over the past few weeks you have been reminded that your body can generate sleep all by itself. Your experience tells you that you do not need medication to make sleep happen.
More recently you are experiencing panic attacks and anxiety — and those things can be very difficult and uncomfortable to deal with. So, as a human being, your default response is probably to try to fight or avoid them. This is explored in a lot of detail in Week 2 and Week 3 of the course.
When it comes to using medication to address anxiety, only you can make that choice. There’s no right or wrong answer here! What guidance or insights does your own experience have to offer you?
Since action can be taken regardless of whether or not we are taking medication, the use of medication doesn’t make any difference to the effectiveness of this course.
What matters is taking action — and that can be done with or without medication.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for sharing such supportive, reassuring, and insightful words!
You applied what was shared in this course to your own experience and that helped you deal with the mystery and confusion that often comes with insomnia. You have gained clarity and with that clarity comes a confidence in how to deal with all this difficult stuff in a workable way.
I particularly appreciate how you emphasized the importance of self-kindness and that progress cannot be controlled. Progress is a natural byproduct of workable action. It can be fast, it can be slow. It can be fast and slow. It can be up and down. It can feel like we are moving forward and moving backward. Perhaps all at the same time.
(If I charted the “average” progress of each client on a timeline, it’d probably look like the world’s largest bowl of spaghetti was thrown against the wall.)
Nobody here is alone, although insomnia can feel very lonely. Everyone here has amazing strengths they can draw from to keep moving forward.
The journey isn’t always easy (most of the time it’s hard). And yet, if it matters, continuing on that journey is what will get us closer to where we want to be.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If anyone masters the ability to make relaxation (or sleep) happen upon command, please let me know first so I can be your agent. We’ll make trillions of dollars together and solve all the world’s problems in one fell swoop!
In all seriousness, @ktMD, if you are seeing somewhere in this course that says a body scan should be making relaxation happen, please let me know so I can make an urgent correction.
In this course I don’t believe I use the terminology of “body scan”. Although something akin to a body scan is described in the W of the AWAKE exercise, the intended outcome is simply to notice and acknowledge what is showing up in your body. Nothing more, nothing less. If you are trying to control what you think or feel, you are going to struggle.
Ultimately, progress cannot be controlled (unfortunately!) — all that is within our control is action. What might matter most here (other than ongoing, workable action) is this:
What are you learning on this journey and how will you take what you are learning and use that experience to keep you moving closer to where you want to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are definitely not broken and you are definitely not alone!
It’s obvious that you have been very committed to maintaining a sleep window. What is your goal with that ongoing commitment? How will you know when the sleep window is “working”?
I’m also curious to know what your goal is when you move to the couch during the night. What problem is that solving for you?
As you wrap up Week 5 of the course you have a number of additional tools available to practice. These include:
* The Three Good Things Exercise
* Implementing a buffer zone
* Practicing the AWAKE exercise whenever you are struggling at night
* Practicing the NOW exercise when daytime thoughts try to pull you away from the present moment
* Doing kind or enjoyable things during difficult days
* Deliberately adding one or two values to each day and noticing what that feels like
* Replacing away moves with toward moves
What, if any, of those are you practicing alongside the sleep window and what have you been learning from your practice of those things?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You were recently reminded that you have not lost your ability to sleep. That your body is able to generate sleep without effort.
You’ve also learned that when you aren’t putting effort into sleep or focused on trying to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, it’s a lot easier for you to live the kind of life you want to live.
Since you are a human being, difficult thoughts and feelings have shown up again and nights where sleep doesn’t happen as you want it to happen have shown up again.
It’s impossible to avoid difficult thoughts and feelings (and you wouldn’t be alive today without them) and it’s impossible to avoid all potential triggers for sleep disruption. All that stuff comes with living life (especially a rich and meaningful one).
What matters are your actions. How you choose to respond.
You’ve learned a lot. As you reflect on your experience, what is the most workable way to respond so you can continue to move closer to where you want to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
