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That frustration can be really difficult to experience. When you say the frustrated part takes over, can you describe that in a bit more detail? When frustration takes over, what happens?
You’re right that it can be really hard to get through the day without any sleep — and yet, you have a 100% success rate of getting through the day. Your experience shows that you are resilient and that you are capable.
You mentioned that you know you’re supposed to tell your brain it’s OK to stay awake all night and perhaps that might be creating some struggle since that implies that you might be trying to control what you are thinking or feeling — something that often creates more struggle, not less.
What might be more helpful is acknowledging wakefulness when it shows up and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings when they show up — and being kind to yourself and continuing to do things that matter.
Finally, you mentioned that you already knew about (and were practicing) the steps outlined in the AWAKE exercise — can you tell us a bit more about how you’re practicing that (or your version of it)? What steps do you follow and what’s your goal — if/when it works, what happens?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Unfortunately, I cannot see into the future — if I could, I’d be a lottery winner by now!
Ultimately we cannot control what happens in the future, or what happened in the past. We can only control what we do right now. This very moment. This specific second. That’s it.
If you feel more comfortable sleeping on the recliner sofa and that isn’t an action that you’d rather not be doing then there’s no need to feel guilty or bad about doing that — you are the expert on you, after all!
All I would say is that the body can sleep anywhere — it just needs to be awake for long enough and sleep is always more likely to happen when there’s no effort to make it happen.
Remember, too, that waking during the night is a normal part of sleep!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The body can sleep regardless of the temperature — this is one of those things that we tend to see included in “sleep hygiene” lists of additional rules and rituals that are known not help people with chronic insomnia 🙂
Of course, it helps to feel comfortable — and I suspect that’s as far as we need to take it. No need to monitor or adjust temperatures to specific degrees!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Those “speed bumps” can be really difficult to experience — and, as others have shared here, are totally natural and normal. Have you been able to practice any form of self-kindness when they show up?
Ultimately, they are out of your control — they aren’t your fault and you cannot fight or avoid them through effort. So, please be kind to yourself and perhaps see them as an opportunity to practice what you are learning here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yes, it’s possible to overcome a sickness like the flu or covid while dealing with insomnia.
Insomnia isn’t really a sleep problem since people with insomnia still sleep and haven’t lost their biological ability to sleep.
Really, insomnia is a struggle problem — the more we struggle with sleep (and the thoughts and feelings that often show up when we are struggling with sleep), the more difficult everything can become.
Even if someone is living with the worst insomnia imaginable, their body will still generate — at the very least — the minimum amount of sleep it needs.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Glad to hear the podcast is proving helpful!
The human brain is a thought generating machine — it pumps out thought after thought after thought. Some are helpful. Some aren’t. Some are important. Some aren’t. Some feel good. Some don’t.
Thoughts are snippets of information that your mind is generating as it does its job of looking out for you. Your experience probably tells you that you cannot control those thoughts (not permanently, at least) — but you always get to choose how you respond.
Typically there are two ways to respond:
1. You can try to fight or avoid those thoughts. How workable is that, according to your own experience?
2. You can practice acknowledging those thoughts and allow them to come and go as they choose. Perhaps, with ongoing practice, that might reduce their power and influence since they might end up creating less of a struggle?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Dijimena and welcome to the forum.
It sounds as though you’ve found that taking ever-stronger doses of medication isn’t a strategy that’s proving to be effective for you. Have you discussed ways you might be able to move away from medication with your doctor?
There are plenty of success stories on the Insomnia Coach podcast of people who moved away from medication.
You are not alone!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I am yet to meet anyone who has been able to directly and permanently make themselves wake at a certain time through effort — perhaps it’s that goal that might be creating a bit of a struggle, jts?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds difficult, Vonny.
First, it can be helpful to know that waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. What can often make falling back to sleep more difficult is… trying to fall back to sleep — because sleep doesn’t usually respond well to effort.
If we try to make sleep happen, we can start to worry (which is normal) when it doesn’t happen. So then, we can start trying even harder to make sleep happen and we can also start trying to fight or avoid worry — or any other of the natural and normal human thoughts and feelings that can show up when things are difficult.
Before long, we can end up feeling well and truly stuck. And, because the brain’s main job is to look out for us, it’s going to generate even more thoughts and feelings about this — which can make things more difficult and create a distraction during the day, too.
So, now we can see how we might have got to this place of “stuckness” — perhaps the way out of it is to backtrack a little?
* To move away from putting effort into sleep, to move away from trying to fall back to sleep when we wake at night. An alternative might be to do something more appealing at night whenever you find yourself struggling. Not with the goal of making sleep happen, but with the goal of building skill in experiencing wakefulness with a bit less struggle.
* To move away from trying to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings. An alternative might be to acknowledge them, make space for them, allow them to come and go. To be kind to yourself when things feel difficult. To refocus your attention on where you are, what you’re doing (and also perhaps what you could be doing).
I hope there’s something useful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There’s always hope and tapering is always possible! You might want to check out the Insomnia Coach podcast since many people there were once taking medication (often for many years). As always, it’s important to discuss any potential changes to medication with your doctor first.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You probably feel unsure how to repeat the result you described because, ultimately, you cannot — not through effort, at least! That’s because sleep doesn’t respond well to effort — it cannot be directly or permanently controlled.
For the best conditions for sleep, there needs to be enough sleep drive (we need to have been awake for long enough) and there needs to be an absence of effort to make sleep happen.
If there’s insufficient sleep drive or there’s too much effort being put into sleep, conditions are good for a struggle to happen.
As for the supplements — the human body doesn’t require any supplements to generate sleep. Perhaps supplements might be one of those “efforts” that can end up making things more difficult?
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum!
Sleep efficiency probably doesn’t matter all that much.
We can live a rich and meaningful life whether our sleep efficiency is 20%, 50%, 80%, or 90%. When we focus a lot on sleep we can get a bit distracted from life, the world around us, and doing what matters — and we can also set ourselves up for a bit of a struggle since sleep itself cannot be directly or permanently controlled.
Sleep restriction is intended to help us move away from the struggle that’s created by chasing after sleep. If it’s used in an attempt to create a certain amount (or type) of sleep, it can actually backfire and create more struggle!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It makes complete sense that you’d feel scared of getting sick and not being able to sleep then dying — that’s your brain doing its job of looking out for you. It’s always going to generate the “worst possible outcome” stories in order to get your attention!
You might very well get sick while dealing with insomnia — you might get a cold, for example. However, there’s no evidence that insomnia causes any sickness or any health problem whatsoever.
Furthermore, as you have experienced for yourself, sleep always happens in the end. The longer we are awake, the more likely sleep is to happen.
And, it’s also possible to still be a good parent — even with insomnia and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings. So, please try to be kind to yourself, too.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Five years of struggle is really tough. It sounds as though your experience might be telling you that trying to distract your brain or trying to fight/avoid certain thoughts isn’t proving to be an effective strategy. If that’s the case, how is that strategy currently helping you?
How might things be different if you didn’t put quite so much energy and effort into trying to control your brain?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m glad to know you found the free sleep training for insomnia emails helpful!
I’m interested to know how you define difficult days that show up after you’ve had a run of good days. Do you call those difficult days relapses, too? If not, why not?
If you slept right through until your alarm went off, what would you then be able to do that you are unable to do when you wake before your alarm goes off? Perhaps by figuring out why minimizing that time awake feels important to you, some insights as to why there might be a bit of a struggle could reveal themselves!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
