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Hello Kirstin and thanks for the great questions!
Yes, that nervousness before going to bed is totally normal! It’s often caused by your brain firing up to protect you from what it believes is the threat of being awake at night.
It sounds as though your experience tells you that trying to calm yourself down or trying to control what you think or how you feel isn’t a workable strategy. And, that makes sense (I am yet to meet someone who is able to directly and permanently control their thoughts and feelings in this way)!
Often, when we try to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings they can end up becoming more difficult as we can then get tangled up in a big struggle with them.
And so, an alternative approach might involve practicing and developing skill in experiencing those thoughts and feeling with less struggle — allowing them to come and go as they choose. This is where practicing the AWAKE exercise might be helpful. Is that something you’ve tried yet?
As for your second question, I suspect it follows along the lines of your first question — anxiety/worry shows up and you then (totally understandably!) try to get rid of that worry/anxiety, which creates a struggle that makes things more difficult. And so, perhaps an alternative approach might be helpful.
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome aboard, Bea! As you’ve already seen from the wonderfully supportive post from @ktkoch you are not alone!
It’s totally normal for you to experience feelings of doubt that this course will help — that’s your brain doing its job and looking out for you! No need to push those feelings away — perhaps you might want to thank your brain for looking out for you instead 🙂
If you are willing to engage in the course and explore what is shared here with an open and curious mind, and if you are willing to experiment with a new approach, I am confident you’ll find the course helpful.
I’d also encourage you to be kind to yourself when things feel difficult — because when things feel difficult, they are difficult.
I wish you all the best 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s so good to hear that you’re practicing being kind to yourself! When sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern, did you need to take THC and CBN in order to generate sleep? If not, what might that suggest?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As suggested by @GenieB, I’d suggest discussing your concerns with your doctor, @Czor.
If there’s no medical explanation for the sensations you described, they could very well be physical symptoms of hyperarousal — but I’d suggest seeking medical advice just to be sure.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Chris and thanks for starting that you’re practicing the AWAKE and NOW exercises — and there’s definitely no need to get out of bed just because you’re awake at night!
The physical symptoms of fatigue can be really difficult — no doubt about it. Does your experience tell you that you can directly and permanently eliminate fatigue through effort? If not, what do you feel might be the most workable way of responding to the physical symptoms of fatigue?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @emandk!
Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. And, when we wake during the night we can feel wide awake and alert and we can feel really sleepy/groggy. And, we can feel anywhere in between!
There’s no need to practice the AWAKE exercise just because you are awake, or just because you notice that you’re feeling a bit annoyed. However, if you find yourself really struggling with being awake or with the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings — if you find that you are engaging in a battle with then, trying to defeat them — then that might be a useful time to practice the AWAKE exercise.
From your description, it doesn’t really sound as though you are getting tangled up in a battle when you wake in the night without feeling fully awake — so perhaps you might simply allow yourself to rest rather than practicing the AWAKE exercise at times like that?
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s a great question and it’s impossible to answer. It would be a bit like asking how long it takes to learn how to play a musical instrument — everyone is different. We cannot control progress — we can only continue to practice.
Since you mentioned that you’ve been in therapy for three weeks, I’d suspect that you are implementing techniques in addition to a sleep window — is that the case? If you feel you aren’t making sufficient progress at this point, I’d suggest discussing your concerns with your therapist.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Angel and welcome to the forum 🙂
I am yet to meet a human being who has been able to stop their mind from doing what it’s going to do anyway.
I wonder if there’s any possibility that your (totally understandable!) attempts to stop your mind might be what’s making things more difficult?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds difficult, @Raf99 — and I think it’s important to acknowledge that difficult nights will always show up from time to time, just as difficult days will always show up from time to time.
As you know from experience, sleep cannot be achieved through effort — there’s nothing you can do to make sleep happen when you are awake at night. Trying tends to make things more difficult.
Similarly, thoughts and feelings cannot be permanently controlled through effort, either. Of course, we can temporarily distract ourselves and we can try really hard to “not think” certain thoughts — but they always come back in the end.
So, what can be helpful is practicing moving away from trying to make sleep happen and practicing acknowledging and allowing your thoughts and feelings to exist and to come and go as they choose without trying to fight or avoid them.
For as long as your goal is to control your thoughts and feelings, your sleep, your cortisol levels, or anything else that you cannot directly or permanently control, you might be setting yourself up for an ongoing struggle.
It sounds as though you can be pretty hard on yourself when you have difficult nights. I’d encourage you to practice being a bit kinder to yourself — none of this is your fault; you cannot control sleep or what you think or feel. You can only control your actions — how you respond to this difficult stuff when it shows up.
You can practice responding with less struggle, or you can practice responding with more struggle.
I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great to hear you’ve been getting practice in with the AWAKE exercise, Elkie! You might even want to go one step further when you acknowledge that anxiety — instead of saying “I notice I’m anxious” you might try saying “I notice I am feeling anxious” (unless your real name is “anxious”)!
It’s also great to hear you’re continuing to do things that matter, independently of sleep and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings 🙂
It sounds as though your ongoing practice of what you’re learning is starting to change your relationship with sleep (and nighttime wakefulness)! You are now using the possibility (and presence) of wakefulness as an opportunity to do something more useful and meaningful compared to going to war with insomnia and the thoughts and feelings that come with it.
In other words, you seem to be practicing a more workable approach. Would you say that sounds about right?
So, in conclusion, it seems as though you are on the right track — especially for so early on in the course! Every time you practice these new skills, you will continue to move closer to insomnia independence 😉
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the update, Czor. You’re right — there does seem to be less activity in the forums as the course progresses. I suspect it does suggest that people’s questions are being answered in the course materials and they are starting to get untangled from the insomnia struggle.
With that being said, progress is different for everyone. Practice is what matters. I think we should only compare ourselves to ourselves — does the path we are on now feel more workable than the path we might have been on in the past?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Czor!
It makes sense that inconsistency (something your experience might tell you is out of your control) creates some anxiety (something else your experience might tell you is out of your control).
Anxiety doesn’t stop sleep from happening, but struggling with it can definitely make the anxiety (and sleep!) more difficult — it’s going to be harder for sleep to happen when we are engaged in a mental battle during the night, right?
So, what might matter more is how you respond to that inconsistency and the appearance of anxiety. Are you getting pulled into a distracting struggle that consumes your energy and attention (and that risks pulling you away from living the life you want to live and the person you want to be) or are you practicing experiencing those things with acknowledgement, self-kindness, and less struggle?
If there was a magic “consistency” switch you could flick that would give you the exact amount and type of sleep you’d like to be getting every single night for the rest of your life, what would you be doing differently? What would you be doing then, that you are unable to do now?
I’m sorry to hear of your fall, @GenieB and wish you a speedy recovery.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s a good question, @tinatina86!
I’d suggest reflecting on your own experience to help guide you here.
If your experience tells you that canceling plans and doing less of what matters guarantees great nights of sleep and helps you move you toward living the life you want to be, then canceling the trip might be the right decision.
If your experience tells you that canceling plans and doing less of what matters does not guarantee great nights of sleep and ends up pulling you you away from living the life you want to live, maybe canceling the trip might not be the right decision.
Since you mentioned that you don’t want insomnia to step more from your life, it sounds as though going on the trip might be the right option — but you are the expert on you.
Something else that might help: In 100 years from now, will you look back on those 3 to 4 weeks and reflect on how you slept or are you more likely to look back on those 3 to 4 weeks and reflect on what you did and what you experienced?
What are your thoughts on all this? Is there anything helpful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
A nap of 20 minutes or less that is taken early in the day is unlikely to have much effect on sleep pressure 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As you have seen, @Elkie, you are not alone!
It’s totally understandable that you find nights of no sleep terrifying and that you feel very down and disheartened after those nights.
As you shared, making things more difficult are the circumstances you are going through with your daughter, too.
Some people with insomnia find it hard to fall asleep, others find it hard to fall back to sleep, some struggle with both issues, and some find their difficulties change from one to the other. It’s all the same thing — insomnia 🙂
Thanks for sharing that you have started implementing a sleep window. Is there anything else that we’ve explored in the course so far that you are practicing, too? Have you, for example, managed to get any practice in with the AWAKE exercise when all those difficult thoughts and feelings show up at night?
It might also be worth reminding yourself that you can still be there for your daughter even after difficult nights and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings. You might not be feeling as alert and functional as you want to be, but you can still be there for her. And that’s what matters.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
