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Thanks for sharing! It’s great that you are able to acknowledge the presence of frustration and, at the same time, acknowledge that progress is something that you cannot control.
Fortunately, you can always control your actions — just as you implied! And so, there’s no need to try fighting or avoiding difficult thoughts and feelings, there’s no need to try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen — because you can still do things that matter, independently of all those things.
Of course, things might be a whole lot easier and feel a whole lot better if certain thoughts and feelings could be switched off or if there was a magic sleep switch that could be turned on at will. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!
And yet, it just not possible to directly or permanently control our thoughts, our feelings, or our sleep.
So, really, the most workable response to all this difficult stuff is to make space for it to exist, to be kind to ourselves when things feel difficult, and to continue to do things that matter when it is present — and it sounds as though that’s exactly what you’ve been practicing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Genie!
There can be no battle (and, therefore, no struggle) if you refuse to fight with your mind, right?
You’ll likely find yourself getting pulled back into that fight over and over again — and, each time, you can withdraw as soon as you notice that happening.
The more you do that, the more skilled you’ll become at doing what matters even in the presence of difficult stuff that’s out of your control (such as what you think and how you feel).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s totally natural and normal to find yourself getting drawn back into a struggle — any time you notice that happen, you have an opportunity to practice responding in a different way 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I love the analogy!
To extend it further, we could also consider that each train that arrives is going to where we want to go. Yet, every train that turns up has something unpleasant about it.
One train arrives and the doors open and there’s a terrible smell. So we don’t get on the train and we wait for the next one.
The next train arrives and everyone onboard is really loud. So we don’t get on the train and we wait for the next one.
The next train arrives and the windows are jammed open and it’s a cold and rainy day. So we don’t get on the train and we wait for the next one.
This, of course, could continue indefinitely — for as long as we pursue a goal of eliminating discomfort it becomes a lot more difficult (and can take a lot longer) for us to get where we want to go.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question!
There’s no need to practice the AWAKE exercise just because you are awake — but it can be helpful to practice if you find yourself getting drawn into a struggle when you are awake.
You can continue with the AWAKE exercise for as long as you are finding it helpful — and by that, I mean for as long as you are finding that it is helping you practice experiencing wakefulness (and any thoughts and feelings that might also be present) with less struggle.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and the insights you’ve been collecting on your journey! It sounds as though you are starting to regain control over your actions as you move away from trying to fight or avoid the appearance of certain thoughts and feelings!
In terms of modifying the sleep window and trying to figure out whether this might be an effort to control sleep or fight/avoid certain thoughts and feelings, you might ask yourself what an ideal out of bed time would be if sleep was of no concern whatsoever?
If you had access to a magic sleep switch and could generate the exact amount and type of sleep you’d love to be getting and were living the exact life you want to live, what time would you be getting out of bed in the morning?
I suspect that the time you come up with then, in that scenario, might help guide you when it comes to figuring out when to end your sleep window — what do you think?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There’s that brain of yours, doing it’s job and trying so very hard to look out for you — generating uncomfortable thoughts and feelings (and perhaps some stories, too) when your husband sets his alarm or when you go to bed before him or when it time travels and imagines what the night might bring or reminds you of what past nights might have brought.
That’s just what human brains do (thank goodness, else none of us would be alive today)! Of course, there are often times when we wish the brain would just calm down and not seem to work against us (something it never does even though it sure can feel like that at times) — and yet, we cannot control what the brain does.
And so, a workable way to respond might involve acknowledging what you are thinking and feeling (perhaps thanking your brain for looking out for you) and making space for all those thoughts and feelings to exist (rather than going to war with your mind).
At night, the AWAKE exercise can help with this. During the day, the NOW exercise can help you refocus your attention, even in the presence of difficult or distracting thoughts and feelings. Have you been able to get any practice in with either of those?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I totally agree — it’s completely normal to experience all the thoughts and feelings that come with being a human being! Some feel good. Some do not. All come from a good place, though (your brain looking out for you) — so, with that in mind, perhaps there’s no such thing as a “negative” emotion?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think it’s totally natural to worry — that’s a human feeling! Quite often, it’s when we try to fight or avoid natural and normal human thoughts and feelings that we end up struggling as we can then get tangled up in an endless, exhausting, and distracting battle with our minds!
Perhaps a more useful or workable goal might be not to delete a human feeling from your brain, but to practice responding in a different way — to practice allowing those thoughts and feelings to exist (rather than battling with them) so they might start to lose some of their power and influence over you.
It sure sounds as though you are embracing the idea of gaining some independence and freedom from all this difficult stuff by moving away from going to war with it all!
We’ll be exploring this in a lot more detail as the course progresses!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing! It sounds as though you’ve been finding it helpful to go to bed later, spend more time with your partner, and get some practice in with moving away from trying to control your thoughts and feelings (even the difficult ones)!
You mentioned that you aren’t sure if the 3 good things exercise made a huge change — if it had made a huge change (or a more noticeable change) what would have been different?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great question, Todd!
What does your experience tell you when it comes to going to bed before you feel sleepy?
Does your experience tell you that you are able to fall asleep pretty easily if sleepiness isn’t present? If so, you might allow yourself to go to bed as soon as your sleep window begins.
Or, does your experience tell you that sleep tends to be difficult when you go to bed before you feel a strong sense of sleepiness? If so, you might want to wait for sleepiness to show up before going to bed.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello!
This is a big topic that we’ll be really exploring in a lot of detail as the course progresses!
In the meantime, would you like to share how you have been responding to the appearance of anxiety up to this point and how effective you have found that approach to be?
Your own experience might be a helpful guide when it comes to figuring out a workable plan forward 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As others have shared, it’s totally natural for anxiety to come and go — it’s all part of the human experience. Thoughts and feelings come and go. They flow throughout the day.
Just as our breathing varies during the day and just as our heart rate varies throughout the day, our thoughts and feelings vary and change throughout the day, too 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep can happen whether a light is on or not — things can get more difficult if we start to experiment with light levels in an attempt to control sleep (something that cannot be directly or permanently controlled)!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
For many of us, how we feel when we first wake/get out of bed is the worst we’ll feel all day (although everyone is different). Quite often, as the day progresses, we can start to feel a bit better as we become more active and engaged in life and the world around us.
Even if we continue to feel sluggish and continue to crave more sleep throughout the day, we can still do things that matter — the only alternative is to do less of what matters and that doesn’t usually help us feel any better!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
