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It sounds as though you’re on the right track, Nicki!
Ups and downs are a normal part of any journey. If we see a mountain in the distance and decide we want to climb it we might do a bit of research (and training!) first and then head off.
As we embark on the journey, we’ll likely find some parts really easy. Other parts will be more difficult. We might also stumble and trip from time to time, right?
Of course, when the journey is easy we usually feel good. We want to keep that feeling around and we want the journey to continue to be easy. Progress is fast and so easy!
When we hit the difficult parts of the journey we might stop and try to figure things out. We might stop in an attempt to work out why we tripped or stumbled. We might stop in an attempt to get rid of the difficult thoughts and feelings that come when a setback happens. We might stop and put our detective hat on to try to figure out why this part of the journey is hard.
Of course, every time we stop we don’t get any closer to the top of the mountain, right? As we “troubleshoot” and try to figure out how to get rid of the difficult stuff — the “speed bumps” — we also spend energy and attention on that, rather than the journey itself. We also might miss out on everything else that’s around us. The trees. The birds. The smells. Where we are and what we are doing.
So, perhaps what matters most is acknowledging that this journey will have difficult parts. That there will be ups and downs. To be kind to yourself when things feel difficult. And to continue on, regardless?
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re welcome — I wish you all the best!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Many people feel very sleepy before their sleep window begins — and that’s one of the short-term goals; to generate a clear and obvious sense of sleepiness.
Before sleep was an issue or a concern, roughly what time did you go to bed at night and what time did you usually get out of bed to start your day in the morning and how did you come up with your chosen sleep window of midnight to 6:00 AM?
In terms of how long it takes, the answer is “it depends”. If your goal with the sleep window is to make sleep happen or get rid of wakefulness it might be setting you up for a struggle since sleep cannot be controlled — a sleep window is simply intended to help us move away from chasing after sleep 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Zu — I don’t have an app and I don’t usually suggest tracking sleep these days. I suspect you might be thinking of the app developed by the VA — in which case, your question would be best directed to them.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds tough, Rose. It sounds as though you have one of those minds that takes its job of looking out for you very seriously. So, it is generating a lot of thoughts and feelings in an effort to remind you of what matters, to protect you, and to look out for you.
I wonder if your own experience might be a helpful guide on a workable way of responding to fear?
Can you think of other times when you’ve experienced fear? If so, what did you learn from those experiences? Was there important information contained within that fear? Were there times when that fear was really helpful? Were there times when it was less helpful? How did you respond to the appearance of fear?
In your experience, are you still able to act in ways that are important to you, even in the presence of fear? In your experience, is it possible to permanently fight or avoid fear?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s great to hear that you got back into kickboxing, Czor!
Exercising cannot make sleep happen and when we do anything with the intent/goal of making sleep happen, we can set ourselves up for a struggle — particularly if our experience tells us that we cannot directly or permanently control sleep.
Of course, you might not have gone to kickboxing in an effort to make sleep happen, but just having an expectation that because you felt so exhausted afterward sleep would happen in a certain way, you might have created a bit of pressure to make sleep happen in a certain way. That, in turn, might have made things more difficult.
(Bear in mind, too, that fatigue is not the same as sleepiness.)
How did you respond to that wakefulness when it showed up? Did you use it as an opportunity to build skill in experiencing wakefulness with less struggle (for example, by practicing the AWAKE exercise)?
Perhaps what’s most important here is the fact you went kickboxing — you did something important, something that keeps you moving toward the life you want to live, independently of sleep. How did that feel?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello again, Rick!
You mentioned that energy and vitality are your goals — and that’s totally understandable!
Does your experience tell you that you can directly and permanently create energy and vitality? If not, perhaps trying to create energy and vitality could be setting you up for some additional struggle, if your experience tells you that’s something you cannot control?
Perhaps what matters most (and might help make things a bit less difficult) is continuing to do things that matter even when your energy and vitality levels aren’t where you’d like them to be and making decisions that are aligned with your values even if the clarity you’d love to be present might seem to be missing?
If not, what’s the alternative to that approach?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
When we are less active we probably require less sleep — and the body wants to take care of all that kind of regulation by itself so it makes sense that on less active days you might not get sleepier until later.
No conscious involvement is required here — just as we don’t need to make sure we take a certain number of breaths each day (or exercise more in an attempt to make more breaths happen). And, trying to get overly involved here could set you up for some struggle!
What matters most is living the life you want to live, independently of sleep, since your actions are what you can control and your actions are what determine whether you move toward the life you want to live or away from the life you want to live.
So, to answer your question, feel free to exercise whenever you want if that’s important to you — but perhaps don’t use exercise as an effort to create a certain amount (or type) of sleep 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Czor! There’s no need to get out of bed just because you’re awake but it’s always an option that’s available to you if you feel that’s going to help you experience wakefulness with less struggle.
Remember that the goal is never to stop anxiety or to change what you’re thinking or feeling since that is something that cannot be directly or permanently controlled. That might happen as a bonus side-effect and if it does, by all means enjoy! However, the true goal is simply to practice and build skill in experiencing wakefulness with less struggle.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Czor — that can feel quite mysterious (and frustrating) can’t it? And yet, there’s no mystery to it!
The more we try to fight or avoid wakefulness (whether that’s happening now or in the past), the more the brain can learn to think of wakefulness as a threat that it needs to be more alert to protect us from at night.
This is why we might feel sleepy and tired during the day (a time when we’re not trying to make sleep happen and when we are less likely to be tangled up in a battle with sleep) and why it can feel as though that disappears when it’s time to go to bed (or when we get into bed).
So, ultimately, the key is to train the brain that wakefulness isn’t a threat — and that can be done by moving away from trying to make sleep happen, trying to get rid of wakefulness, and/or trying to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia. To respond to all this difficult stuff in a different, more workable way.
I also touched upon this in the Week 2 lesson “Revisiting the Sleep Window”. I’ve pasted the relevant section below and I hope you find it helpful:
I find it really hard to stay awake for the start of my sleep window and then I feel wide awake as soon as I get into bed
This can be really difficult but it’s not unusual. Before it’s time to go to bed, your brain isn’t trying to protect you from nighttime wakefulness — so you feel sleepy. When it’s time to go to bed your brain can activate that “fight or flight” response that can make you feel wide awake and often comes with a lot of difficult thoughts and feelings.
To help with staying awake before the start of your sleep window, any activity that involves some movement can be helpful.
And, as you continue to work through this course we’ll be exploring ways to respond to the loss of sleepiness and/or the appearance of anxiety and any other difficult thoughts and feelings that can show up when it’s time to go to bed.
In effect, you will be helping to train your brain that nighttime wakefulness isn’t a threat it needs to be alert to protect you from at night!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Czor! There aren’t usually any advantages to checking the time during the night and it can easily pull us into a struggle, just as you shared!
It’s good to hear that you are practicing the AWAKE exercise when you find difficult thoughts and feelings showing up during nighttime wakefulness. Remember your goal with that exercise isn’t to get rid of those thoughts and feelings — it’s to practice acknowledging them and making space for them to exist. To build skill in moving away from struggling with them 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is great to hear — please be sure to give yourself credit for working through the course and what it shares, too. It’s one thing to have the course available but quite another to consume the information and to act upon it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There are no stupid questions here, Izzy!
The body prioritizes deep sleep so it happens earlier in the sleep period (not necessarily earlier in the night since you might not be asleep yet)!
So, if you don’t fall asleep until 4:00 AM then your body will be generating deep sleep shortly after 4:00 AM.
I hope this helps 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yes. Everything is paced to allow at least a minimum amount of time for practice before moving on. Week 2 will open exactly one week after you complete Week 1.
If you enrolled with the 1-on-1 email coaching option you can email me directly and we can discuss any issues you’d like to explore further, even if they haven’t been covered in the course yet.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome, Chris!
Firstly, I just wanted to share that it’s perfectly OK to stay in bed if you’d rather be in bed when you’re awake. There’s no need to get out of bed just because you’ve been awake for 15-20 minutes unless you’re finding that really helpful 🙂
It sounds as though when you wake during the night (which is a normal part of sleep) you are experiencing a lot of difficult thoughts and feelings (including physical feelings). That is natural and normal and is a common part of the insomnia struggle.
What can often make things more difficult is when we (understandably!) try to fight or avoid all these things since then they can push back even harder and it can feel as though they become even more powerful. Has that been your experience?
As you mentioned, you aren’t alone — and we’ll be exploring all the issues you mentioned as you work through the course!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
