Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Welcome to the forum, @Vivian507!
You might be new here, but you are not new to insomnia. You’ve been on a journey. You’ve been through a lot and you’ve learned a lot.
Typically, if we feel we are caught in a loop it’s because what we are doing isn’t working but we continue to do the same thing over and over again because we don’t know of any alternatives.
Your experience seems to have taught you that you cannot make sleep happen through effort and you cannot permanently delete anxiety (or any other thought or feeling) from your brain.
You also know that you can always control your actions. And, that’s where the power is.
When you wake during the night (which is a normal part of sleep), how do you currently respond and what have you been learning from that response?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
A key part of the course is based on the idea that sleep cannot be controlled — but your actions can be! And, this means you always have all the power because your actions determine the life you live.
Now you have a choice:
1. You can share a bed with your husband. You might get a certain type of sleep. You might not get a certain type of sleep.
Or…
2. You can not share a bed with your husband in an attempt to protect your sleep. You might get a certain type of sleep. You might not get a certain type of sleep.
Which choice is right for you? Which option better reflects the life you want to live?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, @TansieB! I would suggest discussing your concerns with your therapist — nobody here is qualified to give you advice on medication, unfortunately.
If your goal is to permanently delete certain thoughts and feelings (totally understandable, by the way!) you might draw from your own experience as to whether that’s even possible.
If it’s not possible to pick and choose what thoughts and feelings might (or might not) show up, where will ongoing attempts to control what cannot be controlled get you?
Finally, I would add this — sleep can happen regardless of what you are thinking or feeling (the human brain is ALWAYS generating thoughts and feelings). Sleep can become much more difficult if you are engaged in a battle with your mind.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The short answer is, your sleep window will change whenever you decide to change it 😉
A sleep window can’t really make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. I like to think of the sleep window as a tool that can help you move away from chasing after sleep — because the more we chase after sleep, the more elusive it often becomes.
A sleep window comes with some bonus side-effects, too. It helps ensure we are building sleep drive and the consistent out of bed time helps anchor the body clock. Observing a sleep window also ensures we aren’t spending our lives in bed — we have the opportunity to live life and do stuff that matters.
I usually suggest lengthening the sleep window when you:
1. Find you are regularly filling the majority of your sleep window with sleep (no need to track percentages here — unless you find that really helpful!),
AND/OR
2. Any wakefulness that shows up during your sleep window isn’t creating a struggleIf/when you are ready to lengthen your sleep window you can do that by starting it a bit earlier (15/20/30 minutes) and reflecting on the change after a week or two. You might also consider making the hour before your sleep window begins the last time you check the time and then allow yourself to go to bed whenever you feel sleepy enough for sleep.
Something I’d also add is this:
Chronic, ongoing insomnia is rarely a sleep drive problem alone. That can be one part of it, but there are often more parts to the jigsaw, so to speak!
The big issue is often more related to how our ongoing attempts to fight, avoid, or resist insomnia (and all the thoughts and feelings that can come with it) can provide insomnia with the oxygen it needs to survive.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Maybe those stressed-out people aren’t sleeping. Maybe they are.
A night of great sleep is never guaranteed — big day or not! As you shared, the more pressure you put on yourself to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more difficult it seems to become.
So, perhaps the way forward here lies in removing yourself from the process of sleep as much as you can? Not putting effort into it. Not trying to make it happen. Going to bed, resting, and allowing whatever shows up to show up.
Perhaps your experience also tells you that you can still get through the next day, regardless of how sleep goes. Yes, it might be more difficult — and you have a track record of doing it anyway.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I appreciate the offer, Johnny! My preferred expression of thanks would be for you to share what you’ve learned here with others 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I am not familiar with that specific device and I don’t have expertise in sleep apnea.
Unfortunately nobody here can offer you a medical diagnosis or answer your questions with certainty. Consulting with a sleep doctor online or via telemedicine might give you more options and clarity.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your problem-solving brain is doing its job and looking out for you! You get to decide how to respond to such thoughts. One option is simply acknowledging and thanking your brain for what it’s saying. Nothing more is needed 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If you want to sleep during the day, you can sleep during the day — nobody here is going to tell you what you can (or can’t do)! You are the expert on you 🙂
Daytime sleep will reduce sleep drive and that means less sleep will be needed at night. Whether or not that’s an issue or a problem for you, can only be answered by you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Bodie! Your own experience might be your best guide here: what does it have to say about going to bed before you are sleepy (or only after you are sleepy)?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Many people find it helpful to work through the course more than once — there’s a lot of stuff here, and it can take time to “sink in”. With that being said, the most important thing is taking action — turning what is shared in the course into action! Getting the practice in.
You’ve been doing that and, as a result, you are noticing progress. Like any journey, there will be ups and downs along the way. And you always get to decide whether (and how) you’ll continue to move forward when the “downs” happen!
As you shared, action is hard work. And, stuff that matters is rarely easy 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
You have committed to the action of not taking medication — something your problem solving brain suggested might not be possible. You have committed to the action of giving sleep the opportunity to happen in your own bed — something that, perhaps, your problem solving brain told you couldn’t happen (or wouldn’t be as likely to happen versus using the couch as a bed).
And, as you continue to notice improvements, you also notice your problem-solving brain doing its job of looking out for you by generating all different thoughts and feelings (especially those “what-if” thoughts)! As you shared, you get to decide how to respond to those 😉
As you have committed to change, you are gaining insights and perspectives that are giving you the confidence to continue moving forward.
I wish you all the best as you continue on your journey!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s OK to practice the AWAKE exercise during the day!
The AWAKE exercise is more “open-ended” versus the NOW exercise, so practicing the AWAKE exercise during the day might require you to say no to, do less of, or not be able to refocus on something else that might (or might not!) be important.
So, for example, if you get in bed to imagine it’s night to get some practice in with the AWAKE exercise — what other meaningful activity (or activities) do you have to put aside in order to do that? As you reflect, what course of action is more helpful at moving you closer to where you want to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This great question has come up before: AWAKE vs. NOW
The exercises are similar and both come with the goal of building skill in experiencing what shows up with less struggle. AWAKE is more open-ended (and, therefore, perhaps more suited to nighttime use) whereas NOW is more about refocusing attention on where you are and what you are doing.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Even though you don’t write down three good things, you are consciously and deliberately expanding the focus of your attention to look for, notice, and acknowledge the good stuff that’s present (even when things might be difficult).
The sleep window is giving you the opportunity to do more with your life and the actions you are committing to are moving you closer to where you want to be. Instead of preserving your energy, you are putting it to good use!
Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
