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It sounds as though you might have (either now or in the past) been putting some pressure on yourself to make sleep happen when important events, plans, or days are approaching.
That’s understandable because your problem solving mind has likely identified those events/plans/days as being important to you. They matter to you.
It also sounds as though your experience is telling you that you cannot directly or permanently control sleep and that you cannot directly or permanently control your thoughts and feelings.
So, with all this being said, it’s good to hear that you have been practicing allowing and making space for all those thoughts and feelings to come and go as they choose.
Not only can that help you move away from adding struggle on top of all those difficult thoughts and feelings, but — as a bonus — when you aren’t engaged in a battle with your brain, conditions for sleep often become a bit better, too!
It makes complete sense that you want a certain amount or type of sleep to happen before important activities or events. Unfortunately you cannot control sleep in that way. You can, however, always control your actions — you can continue to do things that matter even after difficult nights and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings.
For as long as you continue to practice doing that and for as long as you practice moving away from trying to control what cannot be controlled, all that difficult stuff can start to lose its power and influence. As it loses its power and influence and there’s less struggle, conditions for sleep will, in turn, likely improve, too.
I wish you all the best with your ongoing practice as you continue to do things that help you live the life you want to live, independently of sleep and independently of any difficult thoughts and feelings you experience as a human being 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’ve got it, Noel!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Wonderful — thank you so much for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s great to hear! Have you uncovered any specific activities that you’ve found it helpful to redirect your attention toward when you find yourself getting pulled into a bit of a struggle? Sometimes reflecting on your values can be helpful with that 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Impressive stuff there, GenieB!
Your mind was probably screaming at you not to go that movie. It would have been so easy for you to say no and to be controlled by your thoughts in a way that would have pulled you away from the person you want to be and the life you want to live.
Instead, you paused and considered how to respond. You then made the decision to go to the movies even in the presence of that fatigue and any other thoughts, feelings, and stories that your problem solving mind might have been generating!
What did you learn from going to the movies even in the presence of all that difficult stuff?
PS: Of course you want fatigue to go away! And, as you know from experience, that’s something you cannot make happen through effort. So, a more workable response to it might involve acknowledging its presence, being kind to yourself, and then doing things that matter (just as you’ve described) even in its presence!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ups and downs are totally natural and normal — just as all human being have difficult days from time to time, all human beings have difficult nights from time to time as well!
Setbacks are part of the human experience. It’s how we respond to them that matters!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for sharing! Would you like to share any specific values you’ve identified that are important to you and might help you practice being kinder to yourself?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Fady! Not checking the clock during the night can be one way of moving away from the struggle caused by all our efforts to control what cannot be controlled (like sleep)!
Since there’s not usually much we can do with the information that comes from knowing the time during the night, we probably don’t need to bother collecting such information anyway!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I like to acknowledge them first and then, as part of the process of opening up to them, I see if I can tease out any important information from them.
With practice I have found that — for me — most of the time I feel anxious, my brain is trying to remind me of things that are important to me. It’s working hard, doing its job, telling me or reminding me of what matters.
For example, when anxiety shows up I start by acknowledging it — “I am feeling anxious” — and then I try to listen to what that anxiety is telling me. What is my mind trying to warn me about? How is it trying to help me?
If, for example, I am able to connect the anxiety to an argument I had with someone I care about, perhaps my brain is reminding me of the importance of that relationship, or pointing out that perhaps I didn’t speak or act in a way that reflects who I am or who I want to be during that argument.
If the anxiety comes from my brain telling me that I won’t be able to do what I had planned or that I might make a mistake, perhaps it’s reminding me of the importance of what I do, what I had planned, and the role those things play in the kind of life I want to live.
I’ve found that this process can often make it a bit easier to “appreciate” and experience difficult thoughts.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Noel!
So…with more attention on the important things in life, the worries become less prominent? I’m sort of expanding my attention away from those worries rather than focussing on diminishing them (which would take focus on them, just want I don’t want to do)?
That’s pretty much it — the less tangled up we get in trying to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings the less of a focus they become and the less of our energy and attention they consume.
As we focus more on doing things that matter — even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings — all those thoughts and feelings can start to lose their power and influence because they are no longer drawing us into an exhausting and distracting battle and they are no longer controlling our actions.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you all for sharing! It’s amazing how difficult we can find it to be kind to ourselves, right? It’s another one of those skills that can often be helpful to practice and develop!
For anyone reading this, please feel free to share how you are practicing being kind to yourself when going through the AWAKE exercise — it would be good to hear some more “real world” examples of this!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
My pleasure 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! There’s so much great stuff here and what wonderful support, too!
In terms of “WWMD” (what would Martin do) 🙂 :
I think that whenever we have a decision to make, it might be helpful to ask ourselves something like this:
“Does [action] reflect who I am, who I want to be, and the life I want to live?”
If it does, great stuff!
If not, perhaps we might be getting pulled away from the life we want to live as we try to control things that our experience suggest cannot be controlled?
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Evie! What would you say you’ve learned over the past couple of weeks that might prove to be especially helpful whenever a difficult night chooses to show up again in the future?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question, Irina!
I’d invite you to think back on when sleep didn’t seem like an issue in your life. Were you following a specific plan back then? If not, and you were sleeping well, what might that suggest?
It sounds as though your experience is telling you that you cannot permanently control what your mind chooses to do. That you can sometimes temporarily distract yourself through effort but that, sooner or later, your brain will do whatever it chooses to do anyway.
So, with that in mind, perhaps what might be creating a struggle that’s making things even more difficult is attempting to control what your experience tells you cannot be controlled.
If trying to fight or avoid panic or a racing mind (or anything else your mind chooses to do) is something that doesn’t work, why continue to try?
Sleep can happen regardless of what we think about. Problems tend to happen when we try to fight or avoid certain thoughts or feelings. When we try to control our uncontrollable minds.
All these attempts usually require a lot of effort and attention and can get us tangled up in a battle with our minds — and sleep is probably less likely to happen if our brain thinks we are at war!
We’ll be exploring all this in a lot more detail as the course progresses but I hope there’s something useful here in the meantime.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
