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It sounds as though you are doing well, Nadine — even if you feel that your practice might not always be perfect (you are a human rather than a machine, after all) you are still practicing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing some powerful insights there, @GenieB!
Nadine: I have a feeling that if you asked 100 people what they consider a good night of sleep to be, you’d get 100 different answers!
As GenieB implied, we cannot control sleep — there’s just no way to make a good night of sleep happen. Similarly, we cannot guarantee a good day — but we can control our actions and ensure that we do things that matter each day.
We can do things (no matter how small) that reflect who we are, the person we want to be, and the life we want to live — even after difficult nights and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings.
And, if we can shift the focus of our attention toward doing things that matter, independently of sleep, then sleep (and wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with it) might start to lose their power and influence.
As for whether or not the sleep window is working — if it’s helping you move away from chasing after sleep (for example by not going to bed earlier or staying in bed later in an effort to make sleep happen), then it’s working!
The sleep window cannot make more sleep happen because sleep cannot be controlled — it is just one tool that can help us move away from the struggle that’s caused by our attempts to make sleep happen through effort!
We’ll be exploring all this stuff in a lot more detail as the course progresses 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Jim and welcome! Does your experience tell you that you can make good sleep happen through effort? If not, perhaps having a goal that you can directly control might be more helpful! To help with that you might ask yourself this: If at least 26 of 30 nights in a month were good sleep, what would you then be able to do that you are unable to do now?
I hope this gives you something to consider as you start to work through the course! We’re all here for you and you are not alone 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome aboard and thanks for introducing yourself and sharing some of the key insights you’ve picked up on your journey so far!
It is perfectly fine to think of sleep as a way to take care of yourself! And, at the same time, sleep is something you know from experience that you cannot directly or permanently control.
So, perhaps it might be helpful to consider some additional ways you can take care of yourself that are based on actions that you can control. Actions you can control and engage in, regardless of how you sleep and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings.
If you are taking care of yourself in a number of other ways, perhaps you might end up putting less pressure on yourself to make sleep happen? Perhaps sleep might become more of a “bonus” rather than something that must happen in order for you to act in a way that’s aligned with your values.
It’s perfectly OK to go to bed earlier or to spend more time in bed if that helps you be the person you want to be and live the kind of life you want to live. Those kind of actions only become problematic if they are pursued in an attempt to make sleep happen (since sleep cannot be directly controlled) and if they move you away from the life you want to live because they are being pursued instead of doing other things that matter to you.
Is there anything helpful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing these insights — great stuff there!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You have six months of access to the course materials (and client forums) starting from the day you enrolled. So, you have plenty of time to work through the content at your own pace!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sure sounds as though you are exploring a more workable way of responding to all this difficult stuff — I wish you all the best!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s perfectly OK to stay in bed when you are awake. The more you can practice experiencing wakefulness in bed with less struggle, the more skilled you will become in experiencing wakefulness with less struggle. Struggle tends to make things more difficult.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
1. Insomnia typically exists because of our efforts to get rid of it — our attempts to make sleep happen when we want it to happen.
2. People who have “recovered” have often become more skilled in responding to wakefulness with less struggle. So, when difficult nights happen they are less likely to respond in ways that perpetuate that sleep disruption.
3. Difficult nights from time to time are normal, just as difficult days from time to time are normal. For as long as you are a human being, difficult nights will show up from time to time just as difficult days will show up from time to time. What matters is our response to difficult nights — because that determines how much power and influence they will have over our lives.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I typically suggest anything that helps you practice experiencing wakefulness with less struggle. Examples might include reading, listening to music, or engaging in a hobby or other interest.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Insomnia is kept alive by all our attempts to get rid of it. If you are tossing and turning during the night, that implies that there might be a bit of a struggle going on — and struggle tends to make things more difficult.
Sleep restriction (nor any other action, for that matter) can make sleep happen because sleep cannot be directly controlled. Sleep restriction is simply one tool that can help us move away from chasing after sleep, trying to make it happen (for example, by doing things like going to bed earlier or staying in bed later).
No matter how severe someone’s insomnia might be, they will always sleep in the end. It’s impossible to stay awake indefinitely. The longer we are awake, the more likely sleep is to happen. The more we actively try to make sleep happen, the more difficult it becomes — but it will still happen in the end.
If you recognize that spending time on insomnia forums isn’t proving helpful, it might be worth taking a break from them — you are the expert on you!
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best. You aren’t alone.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum — you are not alone.
Were you implementing all the sleep hygiene tips and tricks when you were sleeping well? If not, perhaps they aren’t needed for sleep after all!
Were you taking medication a few months ago when you were sleeping well? If not, perhaps your body doesn’t need them for sleep to happen, either.
Ultimately, insomnia is kept alive by all our understandable attempts to get rid of it. The more we try, the more we usually struggle (that’s why you slept so well without any effort a few months ago).
When creating a sleep window, it doesn’t matter whether you are taking medication or not — it’s based on the sleep you are currently getting on an average night, based on what’s happened over the past couple of weeks.
If you are in any doubt as to what kind of a sleep window to start with, if you think you’re typically getting less than six hours each night you might want to start with a six hour sleep window for a week or two and go from there.
I hope there’s something helpful here and I wish you all the best.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds really difficult.
Our daughter’s sleep got progressively worse from about six months of age. By this time, it was taking at least two or three hours for her to fall asleep at night, and she woke frequently during the night.
My wife and I found the book The Happy Sleeper by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright to be extremely helpful.
One method suggested by the authors is to allow your baby five minutes of crying time before you enter the room. When you enter the room, you do so for only a few seconds so your baby knows he or she isn’t alone. You are told not to physically comfort your baby, but instead, to say something like, “It’s time for sleep. Mommy and daddy are just outside. We love you. Goodnight!” The idea is to allow your baby time to self-soothe (something frequent interruptions can prevent).
For us, the first night of “sleep training” was the hardest. It took over two hours for our daughter to finally fall asleep (with one of us going into the room to reassure her every five minutes). She then woke shortly after midnight and took about two hours to fall back to sleep (again, with one of us entering the room for reassurance every five minutes).
The second night was much easier. Our daughter fell asleep in half the time and was awake for only a couple of hours during the night. By the third night, she was falling asleep by herself within about an hour and spent about the same amount of time awake during the night. The improvements continued at a rapid pace.
By the end of the first week, she was falling asleep within about half an hour and was spending about that much time awake at night. After the first week, we only had to enter the room to verbally comfort our daughter once or twice each night.
The speed of the improvement in our daughter’s sleep was remarkable. Yes, the first night was extremely difficult — but things got better.
As for tackling your own sleep issues as a parent, you might find something useful in Cindy’s experience with postpartum insomnia.
I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds really difficult, Pete.
It sounds as though your experience is telling you that the more you try to make sleep happen, the more difficult it seems to become. Does that sound about right?
If so, perhaps refocusing attention toward what you can control might be helpful. For example, it sounds as though being active is important to you. You might not feel able to run 50 miles when things are difficult — but perhaps just stepping outside (even when it feels absolutely impossible) and going for a walk around the block might be more helpful than staying indoors.
Concern about your ability to do your job is understandable and suggests that it is something that’s important to you. When was the last time you passed out in front of your students or found yourself unable to communicate and teach your class because of how you slept?
If that hasn’t happened over the past year, perhaps thanking your brain for sharing its concerns with you and then continuing to act how you would like to act might be the most workable way of responding.
The alternative is to act in ways you would not like to act (take a leave of absence, for example) and to move away from the life you want to live. If you do that, how would it make things any better?
I hope there’s something useful to consider here and I wish you all the best.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are definitely not alone!
If you had a magic wand and could get the exact amount and type of sleep you wanted to get, what would you then be able to do that you cannot do when sleep isn’t happening as you’d like it to happen?
Is taking medication, gummies, or OTC products something that you feel comfortable with? Does it create the exact amount and type of sleep you want to get, without fail?
Do you feel there’s a possibility that trying to control sleep and what you think or feel might be contributing to the struggle you’ve described?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
