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Thanks for sharing that you are still practicing the “Three Good Things” exercise and you are finding it helpful — that it’s not only helping you to expand the focus of your attention, but it is also helping you explore ways of being kinder to yourself! Great stuff!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I don’t think 15 minutes either way is going to make much difference 🙂
I think what can be helpful when deciding your out of bed time is to choose a time that fits into the life and the lifestyle you want to live. A time that best helps you live the kind of life you want to live, rather than a time you might choose in an effort to avoid wakefulness.
With that being said, you are the expert on you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great to hear you got some practice in with the AWAKE exercise. What was your intent/goal when you got that practice in?
It sounds as though things are especially difficult for you right now — how are you being kind to yourself at the current time, Arich?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great stuff! Acknowledging is the most important part of the AWAKE exercise, and making space (allowing) wakefulness, thoughts, and feelings to exist is perhaps the second most important part! Kindness is something many of us miss — it’s good to hear that you’ve recognized that and are working on being kinder to yourself, too!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Dulce! There are often ups and downs on this journey — and now you know from experience that you are capable of generating 6.5-7 hours of sleep, no matter what might happen in the future.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are not alone — many people find the sleep window difficult at first. There’s often some kind of adjustment period!
Since your brain’s most important job is to look out for you, if it has learned that the bed/bedroom is a place of struggle and difficulty it will often become more active when you go to bed to protect you from the “threat” of wakefulness and to help prepare you for the upcoming battle.
Of course, this isn’t usually very helpful for sleep — and if we try to control the brain by trying to make ourselves calm or try to fight or avoid what we are thinking or feeling, things often become more difficult.
Fortunately, we can always control our actions — no matter what our brain might say to us! So, we can use our actions to practice “training” the brain that wakefulness isn’t a threat by moving away from struggling with wakefulness and what we are thinking/feeling when we go to bed.
This is where the AWAKE exercise can be helpful to practice since it’s intended to help us become a bit more skilled at experiencing wakefulness with less struggle. When there’s less struggle, the brain might start to realize that wakefulness isn’t a threat that it needs to be quite so alert to protect us from at night!
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Outside noises (and indoor ones, too) can wake us up — thank goodness, otherwise humans wouldn’t be alive today since we’d all have slept through any dangers that might have presented themselves overnight!
Sometimes it’s not so much the noise that is the real issue but how we respond to it — because, quite often, the more we try to make sleep happen (whether we hear a noise or not) the more difficult it becomes.
As suggested by @tweg11, moving away from all that effort and all that “trying” can often be helpful. This can be done by making space for wakefulness (and any difficult thoughts and feelings that might come with it) to exist. Allowing this stuff to exist, even though you might wish it didn’t exist.
The alternative is to continue to battle away, and what does your own experience tell you in terms of how workable that approach is?
This is all stuff we’ll be covering in a lot more detail as you continue to work through the course 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Tina!
If going to bed when your sleep window begins feels more appealing than staying out of bed waiting for sleepiness to show up, you might want to allow yourself to go to bed when your sleep window begins.
You might also want to allow yourself to stay in bed when you’re awake during your sleep window instead of getting out of bed (you might also allow yourself to read in bed, too).
I hope this helps 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re right, Sophia — there’s a lot of stuff about sleep out there (and it’s great to see others chiming in with some helpful insights and support here, too)!
Now you’ve enrolled in the course hopefully you’ll be able to develop a more structured “plan of action”!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Quite often, the more we try to control our thoughts and feelings the more we can end up struggling with them. And that struggle can make things more difficult.
Being awake at night or feeling anxious at night doesn’t, in itself, require any kind of action. However, when we find ourselves struggling and battling with wakefulness or our thoughts and feelings, that can be a good opportunity to practice responding in a way that might help us build skill in experiencing these things with less struggle.
That alternative response might involve engaging in an activity (either in bed or out of bed) that’s a bit more appealing than whatever we are currently doing.
We’ll be exploring this more in Week 2 of the course (and beyond).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the course, tweg11!
As you’ve shared, it’s hard to be the foundation for the family while struggling with insomnia. And yet, there you are — still doing that, even though it’s really hard. Even if or when you feel you can’t be the foundation, there are still other things you can do that matter. Things that are aligned with your values and reflect the person you are, the person you want to be, and the life you want to live.
After a difficult night you didn’t go outside to play football and baseball with them — but you still watched. You were still involved to some extent. That’s important and that matters. And, you felt crappy about not being out here with them because your mind was generating information reminding you of what’s important to you.
I hope you’ll get a lot out of the course as you continue to work through it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is so common and it kind of makes sense — you want sleep to happen so you make more time available for it to happen. And yet, as you’ve learned from experience, spending more time in bed often creates conditions for more wakefulness and more struggle.
Thanks for sharing this insight and your experience!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Just to clarify here, I was referring to many people finding it helpful to get out of bed at their planned morning “out of bed time” regardless of how each night goes. So, for example, if the plan is to be out of bed at 7:00 AM, then it can be useful to be out of bed at (or close to!) 7:00 AM regardless of how the night went.
We’ll be covering responding to wakefulness before that out of bed time in Week 2 of the course. In the meantime, there are two options — stay in bed or get out of bed.
I don’t think it really matters which option is chosen. There’s no need to do anything just because wakefulness is present — it’s a normal part of sleep. If wakefulness starts to get really unpleasant and starts to create a struggle, it can be helpful to engage in another activity that will help you practice experiencing wakefulness with less struggle — and I think it’s OK to do that alternative activity in bed or out of bed. Whichever you prefer!
@cjj1970 — If you are saying that getting out of bed in the morning at your planned out of bed time is hard because there’s nobody else around and you feel anxious when you’re alone, you might want to ask yourself how helpful it has been up to this point to stay in bed in an attempt to avoid that anxiety.Has it permanently deleted that anxiety? If not, perhaps your experience is telling you that approach isn’t proving to be helpful. Perhaps acting in ways that are important to you — even if that comes with the presence of anxiety or other difficult thoughts and feelings — might be more helpful?
This is all stuff we’ll be exploring further as the course continues! I hope this helps, in the meantime.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome Noel and C5! As you can see, you aren’t alone!
Noel — ups and downs are completely normal. A sleep window cannot make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. It’s just one tool that can be used as a way to help us move away from chasing after sleep — something that experience usually tells us doesn’t help improve sleep!
It’s also totally natural and normal to feel deflated and fearful after difficult nights — you are a human being who experiences human thoughts and feelings. So, please try to be kind to yourself — this is hard!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! Moving from long naps to a 15 minute nap is a big change to make, as is creating and observing a new sleep window and sticking to a reasonably consistent out of bed time in the morning!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
