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It sounds as though your experience is telling you that for as long as you try to control your sleep or try to control what you think and how you feel, you end up getting tangled up in a struggle that makes things more difficult.
Would you say that’s the case? If so, perhaps a different approach might be helpful if you want things to be different? Perhaps trying to control what your experience tells you cannot be controlled is the real struggle here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Difficult nights of sleep come and go throughout everyone’s lives — just as difficult days come and go. They are a normal part of the human experience.
If you think about how you approached sleep before it felt like a problem or a struggle, is there a difference between then and now? If so, perhaps there are some useful insights there!
When difficult nights show up and stick around, that’s often because we have changed our approach to sleep. We start to (understandably) become more involved in the process, trying to fix the problem.
When those attempts don’t work (because sleep cannot be directly or permanently controlled) our brains can start to really worry and generate a lot of difficult thoughts and feelings. We might then recognize those thoughts and feelings as additional barriers to sleep and start trying to fight or avoid them.
So, now we have a battle on two fronts — with sleep and with our minds. And, since we cannot control either of those things, we are tangled up in a struggle that ends up making everything more difficult.
Everyone can sleep well. Nobody loses the ability to sleep. Sleep happens best when we remove ourselves from the process and refocus our attention toward the things we can control — doing things that matter and engaging in actions that move us toward the life we want to live, even in the presence of the difficult stuff we cannot control.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’d suggest asking your psychiatrist this question. In my experience, there’s not usually much of a difference between people who taper at a certain point vs at another point — having a clear plan in place (and sticking to it) is usually more important.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Alesha. How do you currently approach insomnia? With a bit more information about your current approach, we might be able to offer some additional guidance or uncover some useful insights!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Doing things that matter to you is probably far more important and influential than trying to avoid blue light — after all, if blue light was the problem, avoiding it would get rid of insomnia and create great nights of sleep each night!
So, feel free to watch a show and watch movies with your husband if that’s something you enjoy or if that’s something that’s important or meaningful to you.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
People who are working through the course tend to be more active in the client forum rather than the public forum, and after they graduate they tend to be less involved in the forums in general — so I am not sure how much of a response you’ll get from individuals here. Hopefully some people who have been through the course will see your thread and chime in!
It’s hard to give a specific “success rate” since the definition of “success” varies from person to person. You might get a good idea of the results people have experienced by reviewing the success stories forum, the Insomnia Coach podcast, and the reviews and testimonials page.
I would also add that my online course doesn’t actually include a whole lot of CBT-I concepts. It’s focussed more on newer ACT-I strategies since, in my experience, I’ve found that CBT-I techniques can sometimes become a whole new set of rules and rituals around sleep that can create more of a struggle.
I hope there’s something useful here. If you have any other questions or concerns about the course, please share them here or feel free to contact me directly.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yes, it can be very difficult — no doubt about it!
Very few people find this easy. If your experience tells you that doing nothing/doing less when this difficult stuff is present isn’t proving to be workable, perhaps a new approach might be worth exploring, even if it’s difficult?
It sounds as though you might be curious as to whether or not you are more capable than what your brain is saying in the stories and thoughts it’s generating as it does its job of looking out for you.
How might you test this out, do you think? Perhaps you could start small and go from there? What might some small actions/activities be? Things that are aligned with your values, things that matter to you, things that will help keep you moving toward the life you want to live — even when things still feel difficult?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing — it’s great to hear you are continuing to practice with an open and curious mind even when your brain is busily working away and generating some difficult thoughts, feelings, and stories as it does its job of looking out for you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing that you are still practicing the “Three Good Things” exercise and you are finding it helpful — that it’s not only helping you to expand the focus of your attention, but it is also helping you explore ways of being kinder to yourself! Great stuff!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I don’t think 15 minutes either way is going to make much difference 🙂
I think what can be helpful when deciding your out of bed time is to choose a time that fits into the life and the lifestyle you want to live. A time that best helps you live the kind of life you want to live, rather than a time you might choose in an effort to avoid wakefulness.
With that being said, you are the expert on you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great to hear you got some practice in with the AWAKE exercise. What was your intent/goal when you got that practice in?
It sounds as though things are especially difficult for you right now — how are you being kind to yourself at the current time, Arich?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great stuff! Acknowledging is the most important part of the AWAKE exercise, and making space (allowing) wakefulness, thoughts, and feelings to exist is perhaps the second most important part! Kindness is something many of us miss — it’s good to hear that you’ve recognized that and are working on being kinder to yourself, too!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Dulce! There are often ups and downs on this journey — and now you know from experience that you are capable of generating 6.5-7 hours of sleep, no matter what might happen in the future.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are not alone — many people find the sleep window difficult at first. There’s often some kind of adjustment period!
Since your brain’s most important job is to look out for you, if it has learned that the bed/bedroom is a place of struggle and difficulty it will often become more active when you go to bed to protect you from the “threat” of wakefulness and to help prepare you for the upcoming battle.
Of course, this isn’t usually very helpful for sleep — and if we try to control the brain by trying to make ourselves calm or try to fight or avoid what we are thinking or feeling, things often become more difficult.
Fortunately, we can always control our actions — no matter what our brain might say to us! So, we can use our actions to practice “training” the brain that wakefulness isn’t a threat by moving away from struggling with wakefulness and what we are thinking/feeling when we go to bed.
This is where the AWAKE exercise can be helpful to practice since it’s intended to help us become a bit more skilled at experiencing wakefulness with less struggle. When there’s less struggle, the brain might start to realize that wakefulness isn’t a threat that it needs to be quite so alert to protect us from at night!
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Outside noises (and indoor ones, too) can wake us up — thank goodness, otherwise humans wouldn’t be alive today since we’d all have slept through any dangers that might have presented themselves overnight!
Sometimes it’s not so much the noise that is the real issue but how we respond to it — because, quite often, the more we try to make sleep happen (whether we hear a noise or not) the more difficult it becomes.
As suggested by @tweg11, moving away from all that effort and all that “trying” can often be helpful. This can be done by making space for wakefulness (and any difficult thoughts and feelings that might come with it) to exist. Allowing this stuff to exist, even though you might wish it didn’t exist.
The alternative is to continue to battle away, and what does your own experience tell you in terms of how workable that approach is?
This is all stuff we’ll be covering in a lot more detail as you continue to work through the course 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
