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I can’t speak for others (hopefully some will chime in with their thoughts/experience) but what I can say is that feeling you were awake and yet remembering that you dreamt, and feeling you were awake and having someone tell you that you were actually asleep is not unusual at all.
It can be really hard to know when we are awake or asleep, since the mind doesn’t completely switch off when we are asleep!
As a reminder, too, in Week 1 the course explained how people with insomnia often report getting less sleep than they are actually getting, while people without insomnia often report getting more sleep than they are actually getting.
Worry is a normal and natural human emotion and doesn’t stop sleep from happening. What can make sleep more difficult is getting tangled up in a struggle trying to control what cannot be controlled (such as trying to fight or avoid difficult thoughts and feelings, trying to make sleep happen, trying to get rid of wakefulness). That struggle can also be exhausting, consume our attention, and even influence our actions in a way that pulls us away from living the kind of life we want to live. That, in turn, makes all this difficult stuff even more difficult.
As a reminder, there’s no evidence that chronic insomnia causes any health problem — you might want to revisit this lesson from Week 1, and it might be worth asking yourself how helpful it is to continue reading those articles and reports, which can be very misleading!
I hope there’s something helpful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great stuff — thanks for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s normal, natural (and OK) to feel upset! We probably don’t want to try fighting or avoiding normal and natural human feelings and emotions since that could end up creating a struggle that makes things more difficult.
Might it be more helpful to respond to wakefulness and difficult thoughts and feelings in a different way? A way that doesn’t create conflict and lead you into a battle with your mind? A way that helps you build skill in acknowledging all this stuff and allowing it to be present (especially if experience tells you this stuff can’t be directly or permanently controlled anyway)?
If you think that might be a more useful way of responding, do you think the AWAKE exercise could help with that?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Very few people find that they are experiencing no struggle after just five weeks — and nobody experiences a great night of sleep every single night for the rest of their lives, just as nobody ever lives their life without the presence of really difficult thoughts and feelings.
So, you are not alone and nothing unique or unusual is going on!
It’s great to hear that you are practicing acknowledging the presence of anxiety and other difficult thoughts and feelings — and it’s important to remember that your goal with that isn’t to get rid of them. For as long as that remains a goal, there will be struggle — because thoughts and feelings cannot be controlled.
Those thoughts will keep coming back. They will reoccur for as long as they choose.
The only thing you can control is how you respond. Do you fall back into the struggle, trying to fight or avoid them (something your own experience tells you does not work)? Or do you continue to practice acknowledging them, allowing them to exist, being kind to yourself, and doing things that matter — even when they’re present?
Thoughts don’t stop sleep from happening — it’s the battle with them that makes sleep so much more difficult. And yet, even if we are tangled up in a battle, sleep always happens in the end because sleep drive always wins in the end.
This stuff requires ongoing practice. If you think the approach you’ve been exploring over the past five weeks makes sense and might be useful, I’d encourage you to keep at it! New skills take time to develop 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear about the chronic pain — that can definitely make sleep (and much more besides!) more difficult. Have you had the time to explore and pick up any helpful tips or insights from the insomnia success stories here in the forum or on the Insomnia Coach podcast yet?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sure sounds as though you are taking a more workable approach. Removing ourselves from the process of sleep is how it becomes effortless. Thank you for sharing your insights and experience with us!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Nothing unique or unusual here!
If you think back to five years ago, is there a difference in your approach to sleep today? If so, what are the differences — and are there any insights there?
As you implied, difficult nights from time are natural and normal. Just as experiencing human thoughts and feelings is natural and normal.
What can make things more difficult is trying to control sleep and trying to control our thoughts and feelings. When we end up down that rabbit hole, we can end up getting tangled up in a struggle since none of that stuff can be directly or permanently controlled.
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great job getting out of bed at the same time every day!
It makes complete sense that you don’t like feeling this way — I don’t think anybody would like to feel that way! It’s hard.
From your own experience, can you directly and permanently control how you feel? Can you permanently delete certain thoughts and feelings? Can you make yourself feel a certain way, 100% of the time? If not, perhaps trying to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings might make things even more difficult?
When you wake during your sleep window, how do you usually respond? Are you getting tangled up in an exhausting struggle, trying to get rid of the wakefulness, trying to make sleep happen — or are you practicing experiencing the wakefulness (and any thoughts and feelings that might be showing up with it) with less struggle?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I can’t offer any suggestions on the hormones, but what I can say is that if you have been struggling with sleep for a decade, it’s likely that your approach to sleep has changed during that time, and that change might be the main reason why sleep seems to be such a struggle now.
Of course, hormonal changes can definitely disrupt sleep — but that doesn’t mean that everyone is doomed to struggle with insomnia around menopause! What can happen is that we experience some sleep disruption, get (understandably) concerned, try to fix it — and then we get tangled up in an endless, exhausting struggle that can make things more difficult.
Is your approach to sleep different today than it was 20 years ago? Are there any insights there?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Interesting question!
My question would be: Is worry (or any other natural human thought or feeling) a defect, or is it the reason why human beings pretty much rule over the entire planet?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Lots of good stuff related to this in the Insomnia Coach podcast and the insomnia success stories right here in the forum, Michael61!
A common theme you might notice is that those who are no longer struggling with insomnia have typically moved away from trying to control sleep, trying to get rid of wakefulness, and engaging in a battle with the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with insomnia.
Their focus has shifted toward creating and maintaining decent conditions for sleep to happen (rather than chasing after sleep or trying to create or protect sleep), acknowledging their thoughts and feelings (rather than going to war with them), and on actions that help them live the kind of life they want to live, independently of sleep.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Do you have any kind of sleep window? If so, when does it start and when does it end? What time do you find yourself falling asleep?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That does sound difficult, Juste — and it sounds as though those difficult nights are at least happening in service of you living the kind of life you want to live.
Do you think there’s any possibility that sleep becomes more difficult the more involved in the process you might be? The more you might try to make sleep happen, try to get rid of wakefulness, or try to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with nighttime wakefulness, the more difficult it all becomes?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Dexter and thanks for sharing. How might you be able to address that hatred of going to bed? How might you make the nights more pleasant and appealing, do you think? Perhaps moving away from rules and rituals might make things a bit easer?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you’ve found that sleep seems to happen a lot more naturally when you are engaged in living a rich and meaningful life (and experiencing all the difficult thoughts and feelings — such as stress — that come with that)!
Another thing to consider is that when we do less during our days, we might need less sleep — and, in turn, get less sleep!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
