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Great question! If you’re staying in bed for an extra 15-30 minutes because it feels nice and comfortable — you’re enjoying yourself — then I think that’s just fine!
If you’re staying in bed because you’re trying to make sleep happen or avoid certain thoughts and feelings, that might not be so helpful!
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Nobody can delete thoughts from their brain — they’ll always come back, no matter what we do. Perhaps trying to stop thoughts (and maybe labeling thoughts as either positive or negative) might be creating some struggle?
Worry and anxiety are normal human feelings and emotions. They are important, too. None of us would be alive today without them. We don’t need to fight them — and such a fight would be futile, anyway!
What we can do is practice responding to them in a more workable way; a way that doesn’t involve struggle. A way that helps us continue to move toward the life we want to live, even when they’re present.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum! You are not alone and you can get through this!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I am not sure we can “get over” them — the symptoms are real and they are difficult!
What we can do is choose how we respond to them and there’s probably two different ways to respond.
One way involves doing less (or none) of the things that matter to us — because we feel so awful, we withdraw from life. This is probably the default option for most human beings, and yet it doesn’t usually make us feel much better.
The other way involves acknowledging all the difficult stuff that is showing up, being kind to ourselves in return, and then committing to doing things that matter to us (no matter how small) — even in the presence of this difficult stuff.
The second option is often more difficult, but tends to be more workable and helps us continue to move toward the life we want to live even when things are difficult.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I wonder if the keyword here might be struggle? Whenever we are engaged in a struggle, sleep will be more difficult.
Perhaps when sleep doesn’t happen as quickly or in the same way as it did the night before, you might be getting a bit tangled up in a struggle that then makes things more difficult?
What do you think?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Any obvious cause of the sleep disruption when it shows up?
Sometimes we experience difficult nights from time to time — that comes with being a human being. Just as we experience difficult days from time to time. Sometimes there’s an obvious cause and sometimes there isn’t. Sometimes we can tackle that obvious cause and sometimes we can’t.
No human being lives a live where every day is good and every night is good. The more we try to make that happen, the more we can get stuck in a struggle.
Since sleep is out of your control, perhaps it might be helpful to focus attention on a workable way of responding to wakefulness when it shows up. What does that workable way look like for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That can be so difficult and frustrating! I think it’s important to recognize that there will always be difficult nights from time to time — that comes with being a human being and living a rich and meaningful life.
Similarly, with being a human being and living a rich and meaningful life, difficult thoughts and feelings like stress, anxiety, worry, and fatigue will turn up, too.
There’s just no avoiding that — and ongoing attempts to do so can pull you away from the life you want to live and make all the difficult stuff even more difficult.
What might be more important, therefore, is practicing and becoming more skilled in responding to this difficult stuff in a more workable way.
Practicing moving away from struggling with this difficult stuff, practicing refocusing on where you are and what you are doing, practicing doing things that matter — even after difficult nights, even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings, and even when your mind tries to pull your attention away from where you are and what you’re doing.
“Trying to relax” might be setting you up for a bit of a struggle since relaxation is usually a feeling and something you cannot directly or permanently make happen upon command. Trying to relax in order to make sleep happen can really end up creating some struggle since sleep is another one of those things that cannot be directly controlled, either.
In summary, I’d say that ups and downs are all part of the process. There’s no such thing as a life without difficulty — but every time this difficult stuff shows up, you have the opportunity to practice responding to it in a more workable way that will help you do what matters to you, even in its presence.
You’re learning, practicing, and developing new skills. That takes time and isn’t usually something that people find easy! So, I’d also encourage you to be kind to yourself when things feel difficult, too.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m not sure if you’ve seen it, but I have a video on YouTube about hypnic jerks — and there’s lots of good stuff in the many, many comments that come with that video! If you get a moment to take a look and are willing to share, I’d love to hear your thoughts and, if applicable, any insights you might pick up!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
How long before your sleep window begins do you start to find it really hard to stay awake?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s quite remarkable! What changed in those three weeks, do you think?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds really difficult and it sounds as though you are tangled up in the typical “vicious cycle” of insomnia where the harder we try to make sleep happen and the harder we try to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts or feelings that are associated with insomnia, the more difficult all this stuff becomes. And, the more difficult it becomes, the harder we try. And the more difficult it becomes…
So, we end up stuck. Trying harder and harder, with all the difficult stuff not getting any better (and sometimes even getting more and more difficult).
If you feel your current approach isn’t getting you where you want to be, it might be worth exploring a different approach.
When I work with clients, that often involves implementing behaviors that can help create and maintain good conditions for sleep while practicing a new way of responding to wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings associated with insomnia so we can start to move away from struggling with it.
This usually involves doing things like moving away from trying to fight or avoid all this difficult stuff (since, after all, your experience probably tells you that it can’t be directly or permanently controlled anyway), acknowledging its presence, making space for it to come and go, being kind to yourself, and doing things that matter even when things are hard.
With less struggle, we free up energy (and focus, and attention) to do things that matter. And, that, in turn, can make all this difficult stuff a bit less difficult, a bit less distracting, a bit less draining, and less likely to jerk us around and push us away from the life we want to live.
As a bonus, the less tangled up in a struggle we are, the better conditions become for sleep to happen, too.
I hope there’s something useful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It can be tough when difficult nights return! And, at the same time, it’s not unique or unusual — everyone has bad nights from time to time. What matters is how we respond!
You might find this video helpful if you haven’t seen it yet: When insomnia comes back: how to deal with insomnia relapses when insomnia returns.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you picked up a big insight there — that, even in the presence of anxiety, sleep can still happen.
The lingering worry and anxiety you described is natural and normal — that’s your brain doing its job and looking out for you. Luckily, you get to choose how to respond to those thoughts and feelings!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yes, it’s difficult — no doubt about it! How do you currently respond to those heart palpitations and how workable is that response proving to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your desire to experience “normal” sleep is understandable and totally valid — and, at the same time, trying to make “normal” sleep happen is going to set you up for struggle since you cannot control sleep!
It might be a bit like trying your hardest to stop it from raining or trying really hard to turn the moon into cheese. How workable would those attempts be?!
If you decide to go to bed earlier in an effort to make more sleep happen or to get rid of nighttime awakenings, you might be getting tangled up in unworkable efforts again — since you’d be engaging in an action with the goal of controlling something that cannot be controlled.
When you have a decision to make on things like this it might be worth asking yourself what your intent is. If it’s to control sleep or what you think or feel, you might be engaged in an effort that is likely to create struggle.
You might also ask yourself whether you’d be engaging in a certain behavior if sleep was of no concern, or if you’d be doing something if you were getting the exact amount or type of sleep you’d love to be getting. If not, that might suggest you’re getting pulled toward unhelpful and unworkable actions again.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
