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That sounds like a reasonable doubt, Skookie!
What I think might matter more is if you feel your current approach isn’t proving to be helpful, whether it might be worth experimenting with a different approach?
My work tends to focus on helping people move away from struggle (since that often makes everything more difficult).
If you feel that you are struggling with sleep, wakefulness, and any difficult thoughts or feelings that might be coming along for the ride, it might be worth adopting an approach that might help you drop that “tug-of-war” rope so you can free up some energy to do more of the stuff that matters!
Without the struggle, conditions for sleep might become a bit better, too 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep disruption from time to time comes with being a human being, just as getting sick from time to time comes with being a human being, and experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings from time to time comes with being a human being.
What matters is how we respond — because if we live our life focused on trying to fight or avoid unpleasant and difficult stuff that’s out of our control we might end up getting pulled away from living the kind of life we want to live (and all the difficult stuff still shows up anyway).
You might find my podcast episode with Wayne helpful since his experience with insomnia began when he was preparing for his board exams: How Wayne improved his sleep by thinking of sleep as a friend that doesn’t need to be controlled (#36).
I hope there’s something helpful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
How are you responding to the return of difficult nights, Bjorn?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What is your goal with the sleep window? If it was working, what would be happening?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It makes sense that your mind would worry since its main job is to look out for you! Worry doesn’t stop sleep from happening, but trying to fight or avoid worry sure can! How do you currently respond to that worry when it shows up and are you finding that helpful?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s a very short sleep window — how are you getting on with it?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The human brain generates anxiety as it does its job of looking out for us (thanks, brain!).
How are you currently responding to that anxiety when it shows up and how helpful are you finding that response?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello and welcome to the forum. You are not alone!
How do you currently respond to the appearance of that anxiety (besides the medication) and how workable is that response proving to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Things sound very difficult for you right now, Zionne. You might want to give my free insomnia sleep training course a try to see if changing your current approach might be helpful.
You are not broken and you are not alone — it sounds as though you’re just a bit stuck! And, it’s always possible to become unstuck!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sure can feel as though you can’t fall asleep without sleep aids — but the fact is, when you’ve been awake for long enough, sleep will always happen!
Sometimes it’s the belief that something is needed and the ongoing (and understandable!) quest to get rid of wakefulness that makes things more difficult.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
No judgement here — as human beings we all get stuck from time to time!
“Relapses” are natural and normal. Just as we all catch a cold from time to time (even if we regularly wash our hands) and just as we trip over from time to time (even on a flat path) and just as we experience worry, stress, and anxiety from time to time (as we live a rich and meaningful life) we will also have difficult nights from time to time.
The more we try to fight or avoid what cannot be controlled, the more we can get tangled up in a struggle that can make things even more difficult.
Arousal doesn’t stop sleep from happening — but trying to fight or avoid it sure can make sleep very difficult indeed!
Sometimes it can be helpful to refocus attention on our actions since we always have control over them — and it’s our actions that determine whether we move toward the kind of life we want to live, or away from the kind of life we want to live.
Perhaps it’s not the hyperarousal standing in your way, but the act of battling the hyperarousal?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you might be a bit tangled up in a struggle with trying to control your thoughts and feelings — and that’s understandable since difficult thoughts and feelings don’t feel good!
And yet, as you know from experience, you cannot permanently delete difficult thoughts and feelings — they always end up coming back, right?
So, perhaps it’s all the effort to try to control what cannot be controlled (sleep, thoughts, feelings) that creates a struggle? A struggle that makes things more difficult as all the difficult stuff pushes back harder, you consume your energy in the battle, and you can end up getting distracted from the things you want to do and the world around you.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If you’d rather stay in bed and do nothing, feel free to do just that! Engaging in an alternative activity simply gives you the opportunity to do something more pleasant if staying in bed and doing nothing feels unpleasant. If nighttime wakefulness feels comfortable, there’s no need to do anything!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum — you definitely aren’t alone in the struggle you described!
First, it might be helpful to know that waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. If falling back to sleep seems to be difficult, it might be because you are (understandably!) getting involved in the process and trying to make sleep happen.
If you feel comfortable when awake in bed, you might want to stay in bed for as long as that feels comfortable. If it starts to feel uncomfortable, if you find yourself getting tangled up in a struggle with the wakefulness or any of the thoughts and feelings that might be showing up, you might want to give yourself the opportunity to practice experiencing wakefulness with less of a struggle.
That might involve engaging in an alternative activity (for example, reading) and if you would rather to that alternative activity in bed, feel free to do just that! If conditions start to feel right for sleep to happen, you can stop the activity and repeat the process of allowing wakefulness to exist for as long as it feels comfortable and doing something else if you find yourself struggling again.
I am not sure if you are checking the time during the night — if you are, moving away from that might be helpful, too.
If you’re not finding any of the sleep hygiene rules and rituals helpful (people with chronic insomnia don’t usually find them helpful) then you might want to move away from them — I suspect you know plenty of people who consume caffeine, use screens before bed or even in bed (gasp!), have a warm bedroom with light cracking through the curtains and still sleep well, right?
I hope there’s something useful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I know we have communicated via email, but I also wanted to respond here for others who might read your post and identify with the issue you shared.
First, I think it can be helpful to refocus a bit to see if we can identify why this seems to be a problem.
You might ask yourself what you’d be doing differently with your life if your sleep was the same on Sundays as it was every other night of the week.
What are you currently unable to do that you would be able to do if you could sleep well on Sundays?
If you’d be doing things differently, it can be helpful to explore ways of moving toward those actions, independently of how sleep goes on Sunday nights.
If you wouldn’t be doing things differently, but you recognize that you’d be feeling differently, it might be worth exploring how workable the approach of trying to control thoughts and feelings might be.
I am yet to come across a human being who is able to permanently control their thoughts and feelings — regardless of the effort involved, the thoughts and feelings that we try to fight or avoid always end up coming back.
Sometimes, it’s all the effort we exert as we try to fight or avoid difficult or uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that makes them even more difficult (and makes it harder for us to live the kind of life we want to live).
Similarly, when it comes to sleep, the more effort we put into it or the more pressure we put on ourselves to make sleep happen, the more difficult it becomes.
Ultimately, for as long as our intent is to control sleep, our thoughts, or our feelings, we are more likely to get tangled up in an endless struggle — and that might be what’s happening on Sunday nights.
A more workable goal might be to move away from the (understandable but futile) control agenda. To move away from the struggle.
In turn, this might also free up energy and attention to do more of what matters and, as a bonus, also create better conditions for sleep to occur.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
