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Hello and thanks for your post!
As you know from experience, moving away from doing things that matter to us doesn’t usually help all that much — we end up doing less and all the difficult stuff still hangs around (or comes back). This, in turn, can make things even more difficult.
It sounds as though spending time with friends and going to the gym are things that are important to you. When you cancel plans with friends or don’t go to the gym do you feel better? Does insomnia disappear and never come back?
If moving away from doing things that help you live a rich and meaningful life doesn’t make you feel better and doesn’t permanently eliminate insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that might come with it, perhaps that’s an approach that isn’t helping?
If you absolutely feel as though you can’t (or don’t want to) do certain things, perhaps you can replace them with alternative activities that might feel a bit “easier” yet are still connected to your values and that help you keep moving toward living the kind of life you want to live?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Wow, such a powerful post — thank you so much for sharing! Great stuff here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Those ups and downs are not unusual — if only we could control them, right? Luckily, we can still control our actions, so we can continue to practice responding to all this difficult stuff in a more workable way. Practice is what counts!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing, Aly!
Remember that the goal of the AWAKE exercise is to help you practice responding to wakefulness with less struggle — to let your thoughts and feelings flow (just as you described), to practice being more willing to experience wakefulness.
It’s not intended to make sleep happen or to get rid of (or generate) any specific thoughts and feelings. You might feel calmer after practicing — that can be a bonus side-effect, so if it happens do enjoy — but it’s not the goal!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s a very short sleep window you have — did you mean midnight to 5:00 AM? If so, what made you decide on that sleep window?
To answer your questions:
1. Waking during the night is normal and, unfortunately, experiencing nightmares from time to time is normal, too. There’s nothing we can do to prevent these things from happening.
2. You can do whatever you like during the night — there are no strict rules here since nothing you do at night can make sleep happen. We’ll be exploring this a lot more in Week 2, but in the meantime you might want to practice allowing wakefulness to be present and to give yourself the opportunity to do something more pleasant if you find yourself struggling with it. Lights on or lights off, it’s up to you!
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That question is probably a bit beyond the scope of this forum! Sometimes it can be helpful to be guided by our personal values rather than by trying to avoid difficult thoughts and feelings since difficult thoughts and feelings will always come and go for as long as we are human beings.
Ultimately, you are the expert on you — in this course, we’re simply looking at how we might respond to difficult stuff in a more workable way. A way that keeps us moving toward the kind of life we want to live even when difficult stuff is present.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello again, Aly!
Since our goal is to move away from struggling with all the difficult stuff that’s out of our control (since the struggle often makes things even more difficult), we aren’t trying to make sleep happen when awake at night (that’s out of our control) and we aren’t trying to get rid of certain thoughts and feelings (we can’t permanently delete certain thoughts and feelings — they always come back, right?).
What we’re looking to do is practice responding in a different way — a way that might help us move away from struggle. So, when it comes to nighttime wakefulness that starts to create a struggle, you might want to engage in any activity that helps you move away from struggling — any activity that helps you practice experiencing wakefulness in a more workable way.
And, since the goal isn’t to stop wakefulness or certain thoughts and feelings, I think it’s perfectly fine to stay in bed when awake or to do something else in bed if you find yourself struggling. Of course, you could get out of bed if you wish — but it’s certainly not a requirement!
If we can build skill in being more willing to experience wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that might come with it, they might start to become a bit less of a problem and a bit less of a focus (and influence) in our lives.
We’ll be covering nighttime wakefulness and how to practice responding to it in more workable ways in a lot more detail in Week 2 of the course 🙂
I hope this helps in the meantime!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing all these great insights!
When we start to move away from the struggle we can find that all the difficult stuff we once engaged in an endless war with might start to consume less of our attention and might start to have less of an influence over us!
And, in the absence of struggle, sleep becomes more likely and it becomes more likely that we’ll do more of the stuff that matters — even in the presence of difficulty.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep — if you find it hard to fall back to sleep, you might be putting effort into the process (and that, in turn, can make things more difficult).
Frequent nighttime awakenings can also be a symptom of other issues (for example, sleep apnea). Have you discussed your concerns with your doctor?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Sarilen!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds difficult — and, at the same time, your experience with insomnia is not unique or unusual. You definitely aren’t alone.
As you’ve experienced, medication isn’t usually helpful over the long term since it doesn’t get to the root cause of insomnia — all the things we do to try to get rid of it that get us tangled up in a struggle.
The key to moving away from this struggle is to practice responding to all this difficult stuff in a workable way — a way that doesn’t involve trying to control what cannot be controlled. To shift our focus onto the things we can control (our actions) so we can create good conditions for sleep and continue to do things that matter (no matter how small) when all this difficult stuff shows up.
The alternative is going to war with all the things we can’t control — and that is not only potentially endless, but it’s also exhausting and distracting, too. And that, in turn, makes it harder for us to live the kind of life we want to live.
You might want to start with my free two-week insomnia sleep training course and see how you get on with that. And, of course, if you have any questions, please feel free to post them here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There’s a lot going on for you right now, Evy — little wonder you are finding that your mind is in overdrive!
As far as I know, there’s no magic off-switch for the brain and there’s no delete button for the brain, either.
Perhaps some of the struggle might come from trying to find those switches and buttons, from trying to fight or avoid what’s going on in your mind?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear how difficult things are for you right now.
You definitely aren’t alone and there is always a way through the struggle — as you’ll see in the insomnia success stories forum and Insomnia Coach podcast episodes.
If you have any specific questions, please feel free to share them here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If you haven’t seen it yet, you might find this video (and many of the comments that come with it) helpful: Why you jerk yourself awake every time you try to fall asleep (and what to do about it).
If you are describing more of a sense of mental alertness when you go to bed rather than physical sleep starts as you drift off to sleep, this video might be more useful: What to do when you feel sleepy early in the evening but don’t feel sleepy when it’s time for bed.
Is there anything helpful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s hard to run on a half battery (or less!) each day, right?
That’s real and it’s hard.
And, at the same time, perhaps all the effort that’s required when we try to make sleep happen or try to get rid of certain difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia might be helping to deplete that battery?
Without so much struggle, perhaps you might be able to free up some additional energy to do more of the things that matter to you (no matter how small)?
Even in the presence of all the very real and very legitimate difficult stuff you described.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
