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Welcome to the course! Have you picked up any insights that might prove to be helpful as you’ve been working through Week 1?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing!
As suggested by Cornish maid, the struggle is often the real problem — all our (understandable) attempts to control what cannot be controlled!
The more you try to fight or avoid nighttime wakefulness, the more difficult it becomes (as I am guessing you might know from experience).
If the AWAKE exercise was doing the trick, what would be different?
I wonder if you might be under the mistaken impression that the AWAKE exercise is a technique that can make sleep happen, get rid of wakefulness, or do anything other than help you practice moving away from struggling with nighttime wakefulness?
Daytime fatigue is difficult — no doubt about it! And, when it shows up you have a choice, right? You can continue to do things that matter or you can get so distracted by trying to fight or avoid it that you end up moving away from the life you want to live and things can then get even more difficult.
Have you managed to get any practice in with the NOW exercise when fatigue (or any other difficult thoughts and feelings) appear or when your mind tries to pull you away from where you are and what you are doing in an unhelpful way?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The goal with the sleep window as described in this course isn’t to make sleep happen or to get rid of wakefulness. It’s to help us move away from chasing after sleep since the more we try to control sleep the more difficult it becomes.
What’s your goal here? Is it to make sleep happen / get rid of wakefulness — things that you know from experience cannot be controlled?
If, upon reflection, you feel that you might still be tangled up in a bit of a struggle, trying to control what cannot be controlled (such as the amount or type of sleep you get, when you wake, how much time you spend awake), what might be a more workable way of responding to those awakenings, do you think?
If you woke to the sound of your alarm in the morning, what would you be doing differently with your life? What would you be doing then that you are unable to do now?
I wonder if your mind might be pulling you back toward trying to control sleep, thoughts, and feelings rather than focusing on actions that keep you moving toward the kind of life you want to live (even in the presence of difficult stuff that’s out of your control)?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Grace and thanks for sharing.
In terms of “stimulus control”, what were you doing, specifically? If it had “worked” what would have been different (are you trying to control something that cannot be controlled)?
Thanks for sharing that you were able to get some practice in with the AWAKE exercise! What was your goal when you practiced the AWAKE exercise? Did you try working the appearance of frustration into the exercise by acknowledging its presence, etc?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for letting me know you’re already getting something from the course, Frida! And, thank you for the great question, too!
As you implied, I think this comes down to intent. If your intent or goal is to make sleep happen or to get rid of wakefulness or any difficult thoughts or feelings that might be showing up, you might be setting yourself up for a bit of a struggle.
If you listen to an audio book because it’s something you enjoy, it’s something that’s aligned with your values and/or helps you live the kind of life you want to live, then it’s perfectly fine to continue with!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though the NOW exercise might be useful to practice when your mind wanders or generates unhelpful/distracting thoughts and feelings as it does its job of looking out for you (thanks, brain!).
The more you can practice Noticing and acknowledging what your mind is doing, Opening up and moving away from trying to control, fight, or avoid what your mind is doing, coming back into your body and refocusing your attention on Where you are and what you are doing, the less your mind might influence your actions in ways that make it harder for you to live the kind of life you want to live.
Is this something you’ve been able to practice?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What you’re going through is difficult, Aly — no doubt about it! And it sounds as though you are responding in a more workable way by moving away from the struggle (something you know from experience only makes things even more difficult).
Please ensure you are also being kind to yourself when things are difficult — don’t forget the K in AWAKE!
You are not alone in this!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome! It sounds as though you have a workable out of bed time there — a time that helps you live the kind of life you want to live.
I think that experimenting with an initial sleep window that begins at 10:30 PM might be a good starting point — it can be helpful to think of that start time as nothing more than an earliest possible bedtime and to only go to bed from that time onward if you feel sleepy enough for sleep.
Great job continuing with those workouts, independently of sleep 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
All those concerns (and the associated confusion and mystery) often come with insomnia! And, all the struggle that can happen in response is very common, too!
It sounds as though you are exploring a different (and perhaps more workable) path — thanks for sharing!
Welcome to Week 2 of the course. Plenty more to come 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Aly — this is definitely challenging and requires a lot of practice!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The only thing you can do to promote sleep is to completely remove yourself from the process of sleep!
What things do we need to do to promote breathing? If we don’t need to do anything to promote breathing, perhaps we don’t need to do anything to promote sleep?
After all, they’re both biological mechanisms that the body takes care of all by itself — and they’re both things that can feel a whole lot more difficult (and distracting) when we try to get involved in the process.
You’ll always care about sleep and you’ll always experience the full range of human thoughts, feelings, and emotions (such as sadness and anxiety). What matters is how you respond to all this — because we can easily respond in ways that we know from our own experience don’t help and that move us away from living the kind of life we want to live.
It takes ongoing practice to respond in a more workable way — a way that might help reduce the influence all this difficult stuff might have over your life.
It sure sounds as though you are on the right track here, Milko!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing, Alya! As you mentioned, this isn’t easy — you’re learning and building skill in a brand new approach that will help you move away from struggle so you can better focus on doing things that help you live the kind of life you want to live. It sounds as though you are on the right path!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Were you able to use that difficult night as an opportunity to practice experiencing wakefulness without so much struggle, Alya?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’d suggest evaluating your sleep window each week and modifying it at that time if you think that might be useful. A four hour sleep window is very short and not something I would usually recommend but you are the expert on you, Grace!
Getting out of bed one hour later on one day isn’t a big deal 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Frida! Sorry for the glitch with the client badge — it’s been fixed now 🙂
You definitely aren’t alone — as a human being, when faced with a problem you are naturally going to try to fix that problem! Unfortunately, when it comes to sleep (and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come with insomnia) the more we try to control it, the more we end up struggling.
That struggle makes things more difficult, it can consume so much of our energy, and it can make it harder for us to live the kind of life we want to live.
As you know from experience, rules and rituals don’t work — and that makes sense, because sleep and what we think and how we feel cannot be directly or permanently controlled.
The only thing we can control is how we respond to all this difficult stuff. We can engage in a struggle (which can make things more difficult) or we can practice moving away from the struggle and refocusing our attention on doing things that keep us moving toward the kind of life we want to live — even when all this difficult stuff shows up.
When it comes to your daughter being at home with you, perhaps it’s more important that you are spending time with your daughter. That’s something you can control. You can’t control how you might sleep when she is with you — but you can strengthen and enrich the bond you have with your daughter, independently of sleep, and perhaps that might have more of an influence on the kind of life you live.
Similarly, when it comes to having a partner, what’s more important (and within your control)? Having your partner stay over (even if that might create some sleep disruption) or not having a partner stay over in an attempt to protect your sleep (even though you might still have a difficult night if your partner doesn’t stay over)?
If you’re tired of letting insomnia be the boss of you, it sounds as though you have a big opportunity to act on that right now and to “fire” that boss!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
