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You are moving in the direction you want to be heading, thanks to your commitment to action and ongoing practice.
You are giving your brain permission to do whatever it’s going to do as it goes about its job of looking out for you.
As you untangle yourself from trying to fight, avoid, or control what you think and feel you are noticing that thoughts and feelings that might have once been very distracting and powerful might show up less often and might stick around for less time.
You are focusing on what you can control. Action. And, as you do that, you are recognizing progress.
Thanks for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing all the insights you’ve gained on your journey so far — insights you’ve gained from your ongoing commitment to workable action.
As you’ve continued to relinquish attempts to control what cannot be controlled, you’ve freed up energy and attention to do more of what matters to you. To live the kind of life you want to live, independently of sleep.
You’ve also developed skill in separating yourself from your thoughts. Noticing and observing them rather than judging them, labeling them, or getting drawn into a battle with them.
As sleep consumes less of your attention and loses its power and influence over your life, it’s better able to take care of itself. Conditions for sleep become significantly better. Sleep has the opportunity to take care of itself. To become effortless.
This doesn’t mean sleep will be perfect every night — yet, when sleep no longer has any power or influence over you, it’s no longer something that creates a struggle or pulls you away from living the life you want to live.
Nights of less sleep are more like water off a duck’s back rather than the opening salvo of a battlefield bombardment.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are acknowledging the tough days, the difficult thoughts, and the difficult feelings and emotions. That’s the first step to helping you move away from getting pulled into a battle with them. A battle that gives them more power, more influence, and creates more difficulty.
Practicing the NOW exercise every 30 minutes is evidence that you are engaging in committed practice. And intervals of every 30 minutes might feel like a lot and that isn’t necessarily a lot! Sometimes, I need to practice the NOW exercise every few minutes (or even every few seconds) when I find myself getting really distracted by difficult thoughts and feelings.
Getting the practice in is what counts — there’s no need to attach (or even look for) any meaning when it comes to frequency of practice.
The more you practice refocusing, the better skilled you’ll become at refocusing. Refocusing requires some effort — and resisting and battling often requires more effort and more struggle and more battling (and more exhaustion).
I’ll be honest, Im not sure that I truly understand what it means to make “room” for difficult thoughts and feelings. If a difficult thought comes in my mind and my chest gets tight, how to actually “make room”. Is there some sort of visualization or something. How do make room for something you can see or touch?
Making room is about giving permission/allowing something to be present (even if you don’t want it to be). Acknowledging it. Opening up to it. Experiencing it with curiosity and kindness. Visualization can help here, if you are able to visualize.
At night, making space is to do with the Allow and Experience parts of the AWAKE exercise. Listening to the longer guided version of the AWAKE exercise might bring some additional clarity.
During the day, opening up is explored in a bit more detail at the 3 minutes 30 seconds mark of the video about the NOW exercise.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for getting some practice in with the AWAKE exercise! Although a bonus side-effect from that practice might be less anxiety every now and then, that’s not the goal or the intention — because you cannot directly control the feelings your brain generates. For as long as you try, you set yourself up for more struggle.
The goal of the AWAKE exercise is to help you practice building skill in experiencing being awake and experiencing the full range of human thoughts and feelings with less struggle. Being more of a kind and curious observer, rather than a bloodthirsty opponent.
Something else to consider is this — new skills take practice and practice takes time. So, what matters most — especially early on — is getting the practice in. Building that skill.
With all this being said, you are the expert on you. Only you know the best way forward for you. I am merely your guide 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You can’t get six-and-a-half hours sleep all the time because you cannot control sleep. For as long as you try to control sleep or make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, there’s only one possible outcome — more struggle and more difficulty.
It might be helpful to bear in mind that a sleep window isn’t intended to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. It’s simply a tool that’s intended to help you move away from chasing after sleep — because that only makes it more elusive.
What tools have you been practicing to help you build skill in moving away from trying to control what is out of your control so all that stuff can start to lose its power and influence over you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You cannot control sleep through effort — so, to answer your question, it’s impossible to say when you’ll experience a “regular” sleep pattern.
Sleep happens best when it’s effortless. When there’s no trying. No effort. No pressure to “perform”. No battling. No struggling.
All the ongoing attempts (past or present) are completely understandable! And they might contribute to why you feel wide awake when you go to bed. As your brain does its job of looking out for you, it’s trying to protect you from the upcoming battle.
Through your actions, how might you help train your brain that the bed isn’t a battleground that requires sounding the alarm bells and hitting “action stations”?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
My question is, to overcome insomnia, do I have to be happy and do I have to like it?
No!
Am I supposed to fake it to make it?
No!
I find it so hard to not think about sleep during the day time like I am obsessed over it. How do I manage not being sad?
You cannot “not think” about something — to check if you aren’t thinking about something, you have to think about it. Similarly, you cannot permanently delete certain feelings and emotions from your brain.
Acceptance is about accepting what is out of your control.
It’s about acknowledging your reality — everything you are thinking and feeling.
It’s about moving away from the struggle that comes from trying to fight or avoid what cannot be fought or avoided.
It’s about being kind to yourself when things are difficult.
It’s about committing to actions that reflect who you are and who you want to be, even in the presence of all this difficult stuff.
For as long as you try to fight or avoid or change something that you cannot control, what is the only possible outcome?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I hope things are OK with your son. As you said, that’s another example of something that’s out of your control.
As you shared, the nights can be very lonely. Some people find it helpful to remind themselves that, in the presence of the loneliness they feel, there are millions of people out there experiencing the same thing at that exact moment. It’s a shared experience.
As for strings of sleepless nights, they can happen during withdrawal, after withdrawal, before withdrawal, without any medication use, and at any time or place.
Trying to fight or avoid being awake is what makes being awake more likely and more difficult. Even then, sleep will always happen in the end — because every human being has the natural ability to sleep (just as every human being has the natural ability to breathe).
The practice of accepting being awake when you’d rather be asleep is easier said than done. It’s something that requires ongoing practice. And, it’s more of a practice, rather than a goal.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If the goal is to change anxiety or get rid of it, that might set you up for some struggle.
At night, there’s more opportunity to sit with anxiety as more of an observer without any time limit (and what would the alternative be, if you did implement a time limit?).
By day, you might be more likely to want to refocus your attention on where you are and what you are doing — and that can be done while anxiety is still present.
So, there’s still no need to put a time limit on sitting with anxiety. You might, for example, acknowledge the presence of anxiety, then deliberately bring your focus back to where you are and what you are doing.
And you will likely need to do that (especially early on) over and over again until you get better at refocusing!
We’ll be exploring this more in Week 3, too 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, @casserieev — what are you learning from your ongoing practice of the AWAKE exercise?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds like there’s an opportunity to be kind to yourself when things are difficult @Whiskers25.
As you said, you are a human being. When things feel difficult that’s because they are difficult.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This one might be useful: Mortality risk does not significantly vary according to sleep duration.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Michael! Your experience seems to be telling you that it’s not possible to permanently delete certain thoughts from your brain. How might trying to achieve such a goal set you up for an ongoing struggle?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ups and downs are not unusual at all. What you’ve described is evidence that your sleep system is working perfectly — when you’ve been awake for long enough, sleep is happening.
After a better night of sleep, sleep pressure is lower and so any ongoing effort to make sleep happen, any pressure to “perform” sleep, any battling with your mind, makes sleep even more difficult — because there’s less sleep pressure to override all your efforts.
The key to effortless sleep is to move away from the effort. Then, you won’t need to be awake for as long for sleep to overcome all your efforts.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Everyone here is the expert on themselves — and one question that might be helpful to consider is this:
If your experience tells you that sleep is out of your direct control, how does having goals related to experiencing a certain amount (or type) of sleep help you move away from an ongoing struggle with sleep?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
