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What you are experiencing is not unusual at all! First of all, you might want to make the hour before your sleep window begins the last time you check the time at night and allow yourself to go to bed whenever you feel sleepy enough for sleep.
It’s also OK to be awake at night — everyone spends time awake. It’s a normal part of sleep! So, if you are awake in bed, that’s OK! I would suggest simply allowing that wakefulness to exist for as long as you feel comfortable.
If that wakefulness starts to feel unpleasant, you might want to do something that helps make being awake a bit more pleasant instead, until you feel sleepy again.
As human beings, we experience a lot of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Some feel good and some do not. We just cannot control this part of being a human being. What we can control are our actions — and that’s important because it’s our actions that decide whether we move toward the kind of life we want to live, or away from the kind of life we want to live.
If we can continue to do things during the day — no matter how small — that help us move toward the kind of life we want to live, even after difficult nights and even in the presence of difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions, the struggles we face in life might start to have less of an influence over us.
When we free ourselves from the struggle, we might start to sleep better, too.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As Chee mentioned, if you don’t feel comfortable with a sleep window, you don’t have to commit yourself to one!
You might simply give yourself a consistent out of bed time in the morning (if you feel comfortable with that) and then only go to bed when truly sleepy enough for sleep at night (sleepy as in you are finding it hard to stay awake).
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
@Helen B — moving past insomnia is very rarely easy and often involves a lot of challenge, setback, difficulty, and struggle. That is why it’s so important that we be kind to ourselves while on this journey!
Fortunately, even though there’s a lot of confusing messaging out there, there’s actually no evidence that chronic insomnia *causes* any health condition whatsoever.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome, Codycode — thanks for sharing that you’re finding the YouTube channel helpful!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Nothing unusual here — it all comes down to the reason why insomnia exists; a strong desire to avoid nighttime wakefulness that can, in turn, train the brain to think that wakefulness is a danger/threat it needs to be alert to protect you from.
Ultimately, we need to train the brain that it’s OK to be awake. We can do this in a few different ways, such as:
1. Not chasing sleep (a sleep window helps here)
2. Making unpleasant nighttime wakefulness more pleasant
3. Doing things during the day that help us move toward the kind of life we want to live, independently of sleepI hope there’s something helpful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Grangers and welcome to the forum!
When we are sleepy, we will generally fall asleep pretty quickly. That’s all sleepiness means. Cues for sleepiness vary from person to person but often involve difficulty keeping our eyes open. Yawning isn’t always a sign of sleepiness since many of us yawn as soon as we see someone else yawning — even if we just woke up!
The best time to go to bed also varies from person to person. If you find yourself struggling with sleep, it might be useful to only go to bed when you are finding it hard to stay awake!
Worrying about sleep is normal and natural and, in itself, doesn’t disrupt sleep. However, trying to fight or avoid that worry can make sleep more difficult since you are then battling with your mind. When we are engaged in a battle, the mind isn’t going to let sleep come easy!
When it comes to checking your eyes in the morning, that’s understandable, too. Yet, at the same time, I wonder how helpful this is — since you cannot control sleep and you cannot control how your eyes look.
What you can control — always — are your actions. So, even after difficult nights (and even when there are bags under your eyes) you can still engage in activities that help make life worth living. If you can do that, all these difficult things you have no control over might start to have less of an influence over you.
I hope there’s something helpful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There is no evidence that chronic insomnia causes Alzheimer’s — so hopefully that’s one less thing for you to worry about! In addition, the active ingredient in Benadryl (the antihistamine diphenhydramine) is ignored by the body after about three days of consecutive use. So, this means that all the sleep you got over the 10 years of taking that drug was generated by your body’s own natural ability to sleep!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I wonder if acknowledging that fear might be more helpful to trying to get rid of it? Fear is generated by the brain in an attempt to protect us and look out for us — if we try to fight it, the brain might think we’re ignoring it. So, it generates even more intense fear in an attempt to get us to listen!
It’s OK to spend time awake in bed — you might want to let yourself stay in bed at night for as long as you feel comfortable in bed! Who knows, sleep might happen!
If that wakefulness starts to feel really unpleasant, then you can simply give yourself the opportunity to do something that will help make being awake a bit more pleasant. This might not even involve getting out of bed!
I hope there’s something helpful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Gail! If you have any questions, please let us know!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Dan. What you are going through isn’t unusual. It sounds as though you’re experiencing a lot of difficult thoughts and feelings — and they sure don’t feel good!
As a result, we all have a natural desire to fight or avoid them. Unfortunately, we just can’t control our thoughts and feelings — not over the long term, at least.
The more we try, the more we get tangled up in a struggle. It’s not really thoughts that make sleep more difficult — it’s all our attempts to fight or avoid them.
I wonder if it might be helpful to make a bit of space for those difficult thoughts and feelings to exist instead? To allow them to hang out for as long as they wish? To give them permission to come and go as they please?
If nothing else, you will get to drop the struggle and that, in itself, might take a huge weight off your shoulders!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear how difficult things are for you at the current time. I appreciate you sharing that you feel you now have the opportunity to get to the root of your insomnia by tackling the behaviors and thought processes that can perpetuate sleep disruption.
The fatigue is real and it’s hard — and we have two ways to react to it. We can withdraw from life in an attempt to recover that lost energy (this isn’t usually helpful over the long term) or we can engage in actions that allow us to continue to move toward the kind of life we want to live, even in the presence of that fatigue.
I think the latter often helps us get closer to living a richer, engaging, and more meaningful life — even when in the presence of all the difficult stuff that comes with being a human being.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sometimes, when our goal is to change how we feel we can end up engaged in an endless struggle with our thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it can be helpful to allow the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings — to make some space for them (even though they can definitely feel uncomfortable) and allow them to come and go as they please. If nothing else, it’s one less battle we have to engage in — and that in itself can be quite liberating (and frees up energy for other things).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ultimately, what we do and how we live our life has more of an influence on the kind of life we live than how we sleep. So, if a sleep window of 11:00 PM to 11:00 AM on weekends helps you live a life that’s aligned with your values, then how can anyone tell you that you can’t do such a thing?!
If we continue to do things that move us toward the kind of life we want to live, independently of sleep, we end up living a more enriching and rewarding life — even in the presence of the pain, struggle, and all the other difficulties and challenges all human beings live with!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
People with chronic insomnia haven’t lost the ability to sleep — when you’ve been awake for long enough, sleep will happen!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I wonder if you might find it helpful to start doing some of these things (or actions related to these things) even after difficult nights and even in the presence of fatigue and any other difficult thoughts or feelings since it sounds as though they’re important to you:
* Eating healthy
* Going to the gym
* Spending time with friends and family
* Attending family functions and gatherings
* Exploring ways to socialize/make new friendsAlthough it can feel as though sleep controls all of these things, it doesn’t. We always have control over our actions — no matter how dire our situation.
The more we withdraw from living a life that’s important to us, the more we move away from the kind of life we want to live — and that doesn’t usually lead to any improvement in our current situation.
If we can move toward the kind of life we want to live, even in the presence of pain, difficulty, challenge, and struggle, then we end up living a life that’s more aligned with our values — and that might help up live a richer and more fulfilling life. Then, the difficult stuff might feel less difficult.
Unfortunately, we can’t control our thoughts and feelings. We can’t make ourselves feel happy all the time (nobody is happy all the time). We can’t eliminate fatigue (as a parent, I feel tired ALL the time!). We can’t get rid of anxiety — it will always come and go for as long as we are alive. As human beings, we will experience the full range of human thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Some will feel good and some will not.
What we do have control over are our actions.
I hope there’s something helpful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
