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If you are happy to sleep only in your recliner for the long term, then there’s nothing wrong with doing that. If, however, you want to be sleeping in your own bed for the long term, then it’s usually a good idea to make sure that your own bed is the only place you sleep.
Do you feel sleepy enough for sleep when you go to bed? When do you normally go to bed, when do you get out of bed (or your recliner!) to start your day, and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get on a typical night?
As @Sleep_less pointed out, getting your husband to talk to his doctor about the snoring may also be helpful for both of you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Steve. Instead of looking for far-fetched ideas, have you looked for evidence-based techniques for chronic insomnia (specifically cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia)?
You mentioned that you are epileptic so it’s important not to pursue CBT-I techniques unless you are cleared by your doctor — however, I think it’s a discussion worth having since there is overwhelming evidence to support the effectiveness of CBT-I for people with chronic insomnia.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Are you still sleeping for 11-12 hours each night? That is a considerable amount of sleep to be getting on a nightly basis.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
From a sleep architecture standpoint, it’s extremely rare for anyone to miss out on sufficient deep sleep for an extended period of time. That’s because the body prioritizes deep sleep, and we get virtually all of our deep sleep in the first third of the night. So, even if you only get two or three hours of sleep you are almost certainly getting enough deep sleep.
It’s also important to recognize that how we feel during the day is far less connected to sleep than we often think. Fatigue is a primary complaint among people with insomnia — yet fatigue is caused by much more than just insufficient sleep (for example, the mental fatigue associated with sleep effort, sleep research, sleep-related worry, and daytime inactivity).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I know we have spoken about your situation, but for others who might stumble across this post, it’s important not to feel annoyed at yourself or try to fight any anxious thoughts you might be having.
Instead, it can be very helpful to identify the thoughts that are causing anxiety (because thoughts are just thoughts — it is our response to thoughts that can lead to anxiety, not the thoughts themselves).
When you are able to identify the thought(s), you can then evaluate their accuracy. When we do this, we can often see that the thought wasn’t as accurate as it first seemed — and this can reduce the intensity of our response to that thought.
Implementing behavioral CBT-I techniques also helps build sleep drive to consolidate sleep and helps us recondition ourselves to see the bed as a place for sleep rather than wakefulness. In effect, this leads to the bed becoming a strong trigger for sleep.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You might find it helpful to keep a sleep diary for a week or two — record when you go to bed at night and when you get out of bed to start your day, along with an estimate of how many hours of sleep you’re getting. Then, make sure the amount of time you allot for sleep is quite close to the amount of sleep you’re getting.
When you have an appropriate sleep window, you can try slightly advancing (starting and ending it earlier) the sleep window — perhaps by 15-30 minutes each week until you start to feel more comfortable with your sleep schedule.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
CBT-I techniques are hard in the short term. No doubt about it. However, implementing them will lead to long term improvements in your sleep. The alternative is to continue as you are now, perhaps with no end in sight.
If the idea of getting out of bed when you find it hard to sleep is too difficult to contemplate at the current time, you can always start by implementing a regular and appropriate sleep window, based on your current average nightly sleep duration. As you start to see improvements in your sleep, you can then add stimulus control — the process of getting out of bed when you are struggling to sleep.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Poppy, and welcome to the forum. Can you tell us a bit more about your sleep at the current time? When do you normally go to bed at night, when do you get out of bed in the morning to start your day, and how much sleep do you get on a typical night?
When you go to bed, do you find it quite easy to fall asleep? Do you wake a lot during the night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum. If you are struggling to sleep at night, it’s usually a good idea to avoid sleeping during the day (unless needed for safety) so sleep drive can continue building through the day to help you sleep at night.
You mentioned that you typically go to bed at 7:00 PM. When do you normally get out of bed to start your day, and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get on a typical night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
So, right now, you are allotting seven hours for sleep. I would typically expect to see someone average around six-and-a-half hours of sleep each night for this to be an appropriate sleep window. How much sleep are you currently getting on a typical night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Kathy. How are you getting on? That anxiety is quite common when we struggle with sleep — in effect, you start to worry about what might happen during the night because you have experienced so many nights of sleep difficulty.
When do you normally go to bed at night, when do you get out of bed to start your day, and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get on a typical night? Do you tend to struggle more with falling asleep at the start of the night, or staying asleep through the night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Eulalia and thanks for the great question! If you don’t fall back to sleep, it’s usually a good idea to make no further attempt to fall asleep once your sleep window ends and to only return to bed the following night, when you sleep window starts again.
We can’t stay awake indefinitely! If we only give ourselves the opportunity to sleep during an appropriate sleep window, we will start to sleep during that sleep window.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Midnight to 4:00 AM is a very short sleep window. I typically don’t suggest going shorter than around five to five-and-a-half hours. In any case, sometimes it can take longer than two weeks to notice results. Somewhere between three and six weeks of consistent observation of an appropriate sleep window is when many people will notice improvements.
Furthermore, it’s important to point out that we aren’t looking for you to fill the entire sleep window with sleep — that would mean you would have a sleep efficiency of 100% and this is virtually impossible to accomplish without extreme sleep deprivation.
Ultimately, you would want to start extending your sleep window once your sleep efficiency goes above 85% since we need to recognize that it takes time to fall asleep and it’s completely normal to spend a bit of time awake during the night.
It’s also important to recognize that sleepiness is not the same as tiredness or fatigue. If you are sufficiently sleepy, you will fall asleep. If you are not, you won’t. Sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference, though — and sometimes our body can even suppress sleepiness cues if we have a lot of sleep-related worry and anxiety.
I hope this helps, and I encourage you to give sleep restriction another try!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That racing heart you describe is a common response to worry or anxiety — in effect, your body is activating the “fight or flight” response in preparation for the perceived threat of going to bed! You have experienced so many nights of struggle that your body now sees going to bed as unpleasant and a potential threat — and this makes sleep more difficult.
You would likely find it very helpful to implement CBT-I techniques. Have you heard of CBT-I or tried implementing techniques such as sleep restriction and stimulus control? These techniques can help reduce the power of the arousal system and build sleepiness to help you sleep.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As I am sure you realize, nobody here can diagnose you with delayed sleep phase disorder. Have you visited a sleep specialist to discuss your concerns?
You might find it helpful to keep a sleep journal for a couple of weeks to record when you go to bed, when you get out of bed, and roughly how much sleep you get on an average night.
This will help you determine whether you are allotting an appropriate amount of time for sleep (many people who struggle with sleep allot too much time for sleep and/or go to bed before they are sufficiently sleepy for sleep).
You can then try gradually advancing your sleep window by between 15-30 minutes each week so it starts (and ends) a little earlier. Over time, this may help you get back to a more appropriate sleep schedule.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
