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Sorry to hear about your current struggles with sleep. What is going through your mind when you are finding it hard to fall asleep?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think it’s important to recognize that sleep disruption can sometimes happen without any identifiable cause. Put simply, our body might simply decide one night that we only need a few hours of sleep.
Unfortunately, when we have experienced insomnia in the past our sleep confidence can still be quite fragile — so our (quite understandable!) reaction to the difficult night can actually lead to further sleep disruption. As soon as we worry, we activate the arousal system and this immediately makes sleep more difficult.
I think the key here is to recognize that bad nights will still happen (they affect everyone, from time to time) and that it is our reaction to these bad nights that determine whether or not they’ll stick around.
If we don’t think about them, if we go about our day as normal, if we avoid compensating for a hard night (for example, by staying in bed longer, going to bed earlier, canceling plans, calling in sick to work, researching sleep, napping, trying to conserve energy, etc, etc, etc) then our sleep will almost certainly get back on track all by itself.
Here’s a link to the podcast episode with Daf: How David overcame three years of insomnia by addressing his obsession with sleep using CBT-I, acceptance, and mindfulness techniques (#8).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum and I am sorry to hear about your current struggle with sleep. To be honest, it’s not very surprising that the sleep issues returned since medication isn’t a long-term solution for chronic insomnia.
Let me reassure you that you have not forgotten how to sleep, you are still capable of sleep, and you can sleep without sleeping pills! Feeling that you have somehow lost sleepiness or no longer feel sleepy is quite common and is typically a symptom of hyperarousal — you might find this video helpful: How to improve sleep when you don’t feel sleepy and don’t know how to get sleepy.
Sleep restriction works even when you aren’t getting much sleep because it restricts sleep to a certain window of opportunity. Since it’s absolutely impossible to suspend sleep indefinitely, by only allowing yourself the opportunity to sleep during your sleep window you will eventually sleep during the sleep window.
The sleep window is really helpful for building sleepiness and reducing the amount of time you spend awake during the night. As you start to spend less time awake during the night, you will likely find that your sleep-related worry and anxiety will fall, too — and this often leads to further improvements in sleep.
I absolutely think that you’d find CBT-I techniques helpful since they will help change the way you think about sleep and help you implement behaviors that will give sleep the best chance possible. The techniques aren’t easy, but if you are committed and determined, you will almost certainly notice improvements in your sleep.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think that this strategy can be helpful if “performance anxiety” or high sleep effort are the primary barriers to falling asleep. It’s not a strategy that I really discuss with my clients since I haven’t seen enough evidence-based protocols on the best way to implement the strategy — I think that taking advantage of the body’s sleep drive is probably a better way to improve sleep onset times.
Here’s a short video I recorded about paradoxical intention for insomnia.
There are more details about paradoxical intention therapy in Colin Espie’s book, Overcoming Insomnia & Sleep Problems
I’d certainly love to hear from people who have tried this approach and got results from it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Some great advice in this thread — thanks for contributing, @burn!
It does take time, and consistent implementation, to get results from sleep restriction. The key is to be very consistent with your sleep window and to focus attention on implementation rather than continuously monitoring for results and making constant adjustments.
Sleep drive always wins — we cannot stay awake indefinitely. As long as you only give yourself the opportunity to sleep during your sleep window, you will start to sleep during your sleep window.
I am so glad to hear that you have recognized that medication and alcohol are not a solution!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s no surprise that you developed such a strong level of sleep-related anxiety after being admitted to the ER! I am so sorry to hear that happened to you.
To be honest, I am not surprised that the medicinal marijuana stopped “working” — because there’s not really any evidence that it’s an effective treatment for chronic insomnia.
Furthermore, whenever we rely on an external sleep aid (whether it’s marijuana, alcohol, a supplement, or even prescription medication) we can believe that it’s that sleep aid that is somehow generating sleep — when the only thing that is capable of generating sleep is our own internal biological sleep drive. In other words, these things are not long-term solutions.
If you are currently averaging around six hours of sleep at night, I think you would likely find it helpful to allot no more than around six-and-a-half hours for sleep. This will reduce the amount of time you spend awake during the night — and, as you spend more time in bed asleep rather than awake, you will probably feel less worry and anxiety about sleep. This, in turn, will likely lead to further improvements in your sleep.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
With all that stress in your life, it’s little wonder that your sleep is disrupted. Have you discussed cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques with your doctor? This might be a good option for you to consider — especially since one of the early goals is to consolidate sleep and make it a bit more consistent and predictable (so, fewer roller-coaster nights of lots of sleep then minimal sleep, and so on).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The average person will fall asleep within around 10-30 minutes of getting into bed — so, taking around 30 minutes to fall asleep isn’t unusual or something to be concerned about.
If you are currently averaging around four-and-a-half hours of sleep, you might find it helpful to reduce your sleep window to around five-and-a-half hours to reduce the amount of time you spend awake during the night.
As you start to spend more time asleep during the night, and less time awake, you can then look to extend your sleep window in response to your improved sleep.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
@mrzonk — Have you discussed cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) with your doctor to see if they think it would be an appropriate option for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is certainly something you could try — see it as an experiment and see how you get on! I think you’ll find this video helpful: “Do you have to follow cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques forever?“.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Lora and welcome to the forum and thanks for the great question!
Ultimately, if you want consistent sleep, then it’s important to observe a consistent sleep window. It’s also important to recognize that it takes time to adjust to a sleep window and that it’s completely normal for sleep to get worse in the short-term as you adapt to the new window.
As long as you are consistent and committed (you don’t go to bed before the start of your sleep window and you make no attempt to sleep once your sleep window ends) you will start to feel sleepy and your sleep will improve. It’s important to give yourself enough time to get these results, though — and not to give up prematurely!
You are looking to make long term improvements to your sleep, and that might involve a bit of short term sacrifice and struggle — but you will notice improvements if you stay committed.
You might find this video helpful: “What to do when you feel sleepy early in the evening but don’t feel sleepy when it’s time for bed“.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If you are happy to sleep only in your recliner for the long term, then there’s nothing wrong with doing that. If, however, you want to be sleeping in your own bed for the long term, then it’s usually a good idea to make sure that your own bed is the only place you sleep.
Do you feel sleepy enough for sleep when you go to bed? When do you normally go to bed, when do you get out of bed (or your recliner!) to start your day, and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get on a typical night?
As @Sleep_less pointed out, getting your husband to talk to his doctor about the snoring may also be helpful for both of you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Steve. Instead of looking for far-fetched ideas, have you looked for evidence-based techniques for chronic insomnia (specifically cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia)?
You mentioned that you are epileptic so it’s important not to pursue CBT-I techniques unless you are cleared by your doctor — however, I think it’s a discussion worth having since there is overwhelming evidence to support the effectiveness of CBT-I for people with chronic insomnia.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Are you still sleeping for 11-12 hours each night? That is a considerable amount of sleep to be getting on a nightly basis.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
From a sleep architecture standpoint, it’s extremely rare for anyone to miss out on sufficient deep sleep for an extended period of time. That’s because the body prioritizes deep sleep, and we get virtually all of our deep sleep in the first third of the night. So, even if you only get two or three hours of sleep you are almost certainly getting enough deep sleep.
It’s also important to recognize that how we feel during the day is far less connected to sleep than we often think. Fatigue is a primary complaint among people with insomnia — yet fatigue is caused by much more than just insufficient sleep (for example, the mental fatigue associated with sleep effort, sleep research, sleep-related worry, and daytime inactivity).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
