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Hello Brian! Conditioned arousal/anxiety is very common among people with insomnia. Repeated negative experiences night after night have (understandably) led to you associating sleep, bed, and maybe even the evenings with negative emotions such as fear, worry, and anxiety.
The good news is that, since this association was learned (you didn’t always associate sleep with such negative emotions) you can, once again, “re-learn” that sleep and the bed can be relaxing and enjoyable.
In addition, since what you have experienced and described is so common among people with insomnia, and the overwhelming majority of people with insomnia enjoy significant improvements if they implement cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques, there is no reason to believe that you cannot get your sleep back on track.
Indeed, you know from experience that you can improve your sleep since you have managed to do this in the past.
Since you are a client, I would suggest that you contact me directly with any specific concerns or worries you have as we work together. That way, I will be able to respond to you significantly faster, and we can discuss things on a more personal level.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I am not surprised that you are in good health despite having insomnia — because there is no evidence that chronic insomnia causes any health problem whatsoever!
I’m glad to hear that you managed to get off the temazepam. That is no small feat, so please be sure to give yourself credit for the effort that no doubt took.
As you have experienced for yourself, supplements (including CBD oil) are not an effective treatment for chronic insomnia.
Have you looked into cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m really sorry to hear about the sleep issues you have been facing for so long, and that your therapist isn’t helping you implement CBT-I techniques — many CBT therapists aren’t actually trained in sleep. When it comes to insomnia, looking for the “I” at the end of “CBT” is very important (I’d also recommend listening to Episode 7 of the Insomnia Coach Podcast for more about this).
Although harder, it is possible to implement CBT-I techniques in a self-directed way — I would suggest that you start by allotting an appropriate amount of time for sleep (based on average nightly sleep duration taken over at least one or two weeks) to help build a bit of consistency and hopefully help you recognize some sleepiness cues.
Also, try to remain active during the day. Inactivity can actually perpetuate insomnia and intensify feelings of fatigue.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Tina and welcome to the forum.
It’s unlikely that you did anything “wrong” — we all experience bad nights of sleep from time to time. Even the best sleepers in the world will experience a bad night of sleep from time to time.
What can happen is that when we have experienced chronic insomnia in the past, as soon as a bad night occurs (which is normal, and to be expected) we can start to immediately worry that our insomnia has returned.
This worry then kicks our arousal system into high gear and makes it much harder for our sleep to recover — and this is why one bad night can turn into a string of bad nights.
When these bad nights occur, it can be helpful to spend a minute or two to see if there is an identifiable external cause for the sleep disruption (for example, work stress, an argument with your spouse, a life change, etc). This can help you recognize that the sleep disruption was quite normal and to be expected.
If there is no recognizable external cause, then that’s OK, too — sometimes we can have a bad night without any apparent reason or cause. In this case, try not to dwell on the bad night. Don’t start researching sleep and insomnia, or trying to adjust your life or compensate for a bad night. Behave as though the bad night didn’t happen, and it’s far more likely than not that your sleep will get back on track by itself.
I think you will find Episode 7 of the Insomnia Coach podcast very helpful. In that episode, I talk to clinical psychologist Nick Wignall about sleep-related anxiety, how automatic thoughts disrupt sleep, and the pros and cons of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) for insomnia.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It will likely take some time for your body clock to adjust to your new routine — one thing you can do to help your body clock adapt is to commit to the same sleep schedule every single day, including days when you aren’t working (so, no weekend lie-ins!).
When you go to bed at 1:00 AM, are you feeling sleepy enough for sleep? Do you tend to fall asleep quickly? Are you waking during the night, or do you sleep pretty well right through to around 7:00 AM? Are you taking naps during the day?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I love your attitude, John — and attitude goes a long way when it comes to beating insomnia and getting your sleep back on track!
As you rightly recognize, no medications or supplements are able to generate sleep — the only thing that generates sleep is our own sleep drive. Constant experimentation (or reliance) on medications or supplements for sleep does little to improve sleep for the long term.
Have you tried implementing CBT-I techniques?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Jess. Ativan or Trazodone are unlikely to be the answer, if your goal is to improve your sleep for the long term.
I suspect that you would find it very helpful to implement CBT-I techniques to help get your sleep back on track. When do you currently go to bed at night, when do you get out of bed to start your day in the morning, and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get on a typical night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Sarah, and welcome to the forum.
Your story is very familiar and certainly not unusual. You exhibit almost all of the classic perpetuating factors behind insomnia and this helps explain why you have been struggling for so long.
Strategies such as no longer traveling, no longer going out of town, no longer sleeping elsewhere (or allowing anyone to sleep at your place), obsessively thinking about sleep, and having an excessively rigid sleep routine (that doesn’t even help all that much), are all behaviors that — while understandable — are actually making it harder for you to get your sleep back on track.
You mentioned that you have tried two rounds of CBT-I in the past, without success. Can you tell us a bit more about that? What kind of strategies and techniques did you implement, and why do you think they didn’t work for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m so happy to hear that you are going through CBT-I — I have no doubt that you will find this very helpful and that your sleep will improve.
Although it’s not usually helpful to compare your progress to others, most people will experience improvements in their sleep within a couple of months.
When it comes to tips for staying busy and awake during the day, what did you do before you experienced insomnia?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles with sleep — please be assured that you are capable of sleep, that you have not lost your ability to sleep, and that you can improve your sleep.
Have you tried implementing CBT-I techniques to help get your sleep back on track?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Susan. I am sorry to hear about all the stress you are under and I am not surprised that your sleep has been disrupted by everything that is going on.
I think that you would find it very helpful to start implementing CBT for insomnia techniques to help get your sleep back on track. You could start by simply allotting an appropriate amount of time for sleep and following a consistent sleep schedule.
Although daytime fatigue can make it harder to remain active, when we stay inactive we can actually make fatigue worse. So, I would encourage you to try being as active as possible during the day and avoid compensating for any bad nights of sleep since this can perpetuate the problem.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear about your current issues with sleep. How long has this been going on for? Have you spoken to your doctor about the racing heart and night sweats?
I would suggest seeking medical advice for these symptoms. If your doctor cannot pinpoint any cause or explanation for them, they could be a symptom of hyperarousal.
Physiological arousal is often a perpetuating factor behind insomnia. Taking steps to address this heightened level of arousal will usually help improve your sleep and the symptoms you are experiencing.
Have you tried implementing CBT-I techniques, or discussed them with your doctor?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum. First of all, what do you mean by “tired”? It is so easy to confuse tiredness with sleepiness — but the two are very different! If we go to bed when we are tired rather than sleepy, we are going to find it hard to fall asleep.
Here’s a short video about this: How to know if you are fatigued rather than sleepy (and why it matters).
When do you normally go to bed at night, when do you get out of bed to start your day, and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get on a typical night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum. First of all, it’s quite common for sleep to become a bit more disrupted upon retirement, often because more time becomes available for sleep and more time becomes available for rest and relaxation! Without the obligation to get up for work, and without the daily routine that employment provides, sleep can suffer.
Ambien, melatonin, and valerian Root are not effective long-term treatment options for chronic insomnia. I think that you would find it very helpful to implement cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques to help get your sleep back on track.
When do you currently go to bed at night, when do you get out of bed to start your day in the morning, and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get on a typical night? Are you taking daytime naps?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Wendy!
Often, when we don’t get the amount of sleep that we strive for, we can monitor for the effects of curtailed sleep (even subconsciously). So, if we get six-and-a-half hours instead of seven hours, we might notice higher levels of fatigue or even some niggles and aches and pains that we would never have otherwise noticed.
In other words, every time we aren’t satisfied with the sleep we get, we notice negative consequences — but every time we are satisfied with our sleep duration, we don’t notice any negative consequences and so we feel great!
Deep sleep is the most restorative stage of sleep — and we get pretty much all of our deep sleep in the first third of the night. So, even if we only manage two or three hours of sleep, we are almost certainly getting all of the most restorative stage of sleep.
Of course, this isn’t to say that we’d all feel great after just two or three hours of sleep — but the sleep we get after this point has less of an effect on how we feel during the day than we usually think. This helps explain why some people can do just fine on as little as five or six hours of sleep every night.
If you regularly managed between seven and eight hours of sleep in the past, then you may well be able to manage that again — as long as you don’t strive to get a certain amount of sleep! As soon as we try to get a certain amount of sleep, we make sleep more difficult because sleep is an autonomous process that we can’t directly control.
I would suggest that you start by observing a sleep window that’s aligned with your current average nightly sleep duration to help consolidate your sleep, and go from there.
I hope this helps — good luck!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
