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I’m sorry to hear about your three months of sleep issues and that you haven’t received much in the way of support or advice from the medical community. That is frustrating, disappointing, and something that needs to change.
I wouldn’t encourage you to use a sleep tracker. That’s because they can be inaccurate and increase sleep-related worry and anxiety, and therefore make sleep more difficult.
It is highly unlikely that cancer is causing your sleep issues (but if you are concerned that you might have cancer you should discuss these concerns with a doctor). The vast majority of insomnia cases are caused by the mind — and this makes sense when you consider that the mind is what controls all our bodily functions (including sleep).
There are three primary mechanisms involves in sleep. First, there is sleep pressure (also known as sleep drive). This builds during the day and increases our desire to sleep so that, at night, we are prepared for sleep. Next, we have the sleep/wake cycle — this is the internal body clock that recognizes that mornings are times to be alert and evenings are times to be relaxed and ready for sleep.
Unforunately, the third mechanism (the arousal system) can override both sleep pressure and our natural sleep/wake cycle. The arousal system is an evolutionary survival system that helps us suspend sleep in times of danger. So, if a caveman heard a saber-toothed tiger rustling around, the arousal system would be activated to prevent him from falling asleep and potentially getting eaten!
Of course, we don’t have to deal with these kinds of threats anymore — but the arousal system still holds huge influence over our sleep. When we worry about sleep, the arousal system is activated. When we actively ‘try’ to sleep, the arousal system is activated. When we feel stress or anxiety, the arousal system is activated.
So, the key to improving your sleep is to reduce the power of your arousal system and to strengthen the power of sleep pressure and your sleep/wake cycle. CBT for insomnia is designed to do just this, and that is why it’s so effective. If you can’t find CBT-I locally, there are programs online (such as mine) — however, since some of the techniques can be challenging, it’s important to choose a program that comes with plenty of personal support, guidance, and feedback from a sleep coach or other professional.
The good news is that the sooner you take steps to resolve your sleep issues, the easier it will be to resolve your sleep issues.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Lucichic. It’s quite upsetting how difficult we make it for our school-aged children to sleep. Fortunately, there is a campaign to delay school start times and it’s slowly gathering momentum. As you recognized, forcing children to wake early in the day not only leads to less sleep, it can set our children up for sleep issues well into adulthood.
Although five-and-a-half hours of sleep at night isn’t ideal, it’s generally thought that a minimum of around five-and-a-half hours of sleep provides us with the absolute minimum ‘core sleep’ that we need. Of course, it’s usually good to get more sleep than that — but since we can’t control how long we sleep for, it can be comforting and reassuring to simply recognize that five-and-a-half hours can often be enough.
Can you tell us a bit more about your sleep? When do you normally go to bed and when do you normally get out of bed? Do you tend to find it difficult to fall asleep, stay asleep, or both? What do you think is keeping you awake at night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello hopefull1979 and welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles with sleep. It must be very concerning to have been facing sleep disturbances for the past five weeks.
It’s perfectly natural for sleep to be disrupted due to a stressful event such as a panic attack. Unfortunately, what can easily happen is once the stressful event passes, sleep doesn’t recover.
Usually, this is because we start paying a lot of attention to our sleep — more than we did before the event that initially disrupted our sleep. We also tend to start worrying about sleep and even practice compensatory behaviors such as spending more time in bed, canceling plans with friends, or calling in sick to work.
Unfortunately, worrying about sleep, and compensatory behaviors such as those I mentioned, can actually make sleep worse — and this perpetuates the problem even more.
The result is a vicious cycle of ever-increasing worry and anxiety, and ever-worsening sleep.
First of all, let me reassure you that you are not going to die as a result of insomnia. Sleep is a biological function and it never goes away. Eventually, you will sleep.
Sleep is a bit like breathing — just as we can hold our breath, eventually, the body will take over and force us to breathe. Just as we can suspend sleep (usually through worry and anxiety), eventually the body will take over and force us to sleep.
It’s also worth mentioning that most of the time, people with insomnia tend to underestimate the amount of sleep they get — so it’s reasonably likely that you are getting a bit more sleep than you think you are.
Have you discussed your sleep issues with your doctor? You may want to talk to them about CBT for insomnia — and the good news is that the easier you get started on the road to addressing your sleep issues, the easier they will be to resolve.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re very welcome, Spongecake! CBT-I techniques take a lot of effort and truly noticeable results usually take a few weeks. This can lead to a high drop-out rate when it comes to CBT-I programs that don’t come with a lot of individual support, feedback, and guidance from a sleep coach or other health professional.
It sounds as though you are in a better frame of mind these days so this could be an option worth exploring.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m glad to hear that you were able to make some changes at work to help improve the amount of time you spend with your children.
If you are awake in bed for two-and-a-half hours, it’s a good idea to get out of bed. This is a key component of stimulus control and helps you relearn the association between the bed and sleep (rather than wakefulness). Over time, this will help make the bed a strong trigger for sleep.
Getting out of bed when unable to sleep also reduces the amount of time you spend in bed awake, tossing and turning, feeling worried, frustrated, and anxious about sleep.
Good luck on your journey, and do keep in touch with all of us!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You raise a great point, dreamtsleep — thanks for sharing. Many people with insomnia self-monitor as soon as they get into bed. In other words, because they are so keen/eager to sleep, they constantly (often subconsciously) keep checking to see if they are asleep when lying in bed. The result is that, when sleep finally comes, the brain realizes and suddenly wakes you up to say, “Hey! I fell asleep!”.
This can lead to a sharp awakening akin to a hypnic jerk. The key to resolving this is to recognize that we can’t control sleep, and that self-monitoring is not constructive.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi Stizzle, have you discussed your sleep issues with your doctor? On bad days when you only get two or three hours of sleep, what do you think is stopping you from getting more sleep? Do you tend to worry about sleep when you find it hard to sleep? Do you follow a regular (and appropriate) sleep schedule?
Sorry to hear about your father’s passing, dreamtsleep — and thank you for sharing some of the ways you are coping.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Anxiety and worry are usually the main obstacles faced by those with insomnia. That’s because anxiety and worry activate the arousal system — and this can make sleep difficult, and even suspend sleep.
Although it feels as though you are incapable of sleeping naturally, that is quite unlikely since sleep is a core biological function. Look at it this way — have you tried to stay awake indefinitely?
If you tried to stay awake without even a minute of sleep you might make it a few days — but eventually, you will sleep. That’s because, at a certain point, your natural sleep drive will become so strong, it will overpower your arousal system and lead to sleep.
One reason why CBT for insomnia is so effective is that, over time, it weakens the arousal system and so your natural propensity to sleep becomes stronger and more reliable. As your sleep improves, you become less worried and anxious about sleep — and this leads to better sleep. It’s the exact opposite of the vicious cycle of ever-increasing anxiety and ever worse sleep, and the skills you learn through CBT-I can be used for the rest of your life. It’s truly a long-term solution and well worth exploring.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Well, a month of camping sounds wonderful to me — but, of course, there can be no guarantees that it will improve your sleep. If you have received an insomnia diagnosis from your doctor, it’s likely that you would benefit from CBT-I. Was this even mentioned by your doctor?
When you go to bed at night, do you think you find it hard to fall asleep because your mind suddenly becomes active or worried about sleep/other things going on in your life?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Hannah and thank you for sharing your positive story. I am sorry to hear about your breakup in 2016 — that must have been very difficult and it is not surprising that this has a negative impact on your sleep.
Sometimes, the way we think our capability to perform at our absolute best the next day is a key component of sleep-related anxiety. For example, we may worry that if we don’t sleep well, we won’t do well at work. This can then catastrophize into thoughts such as, if I don’t perform well at work I will lose my job. If I lose my job, I will lose my home. If I lose my home, I will be living on the streets (I am not saying this was the case with you, I just want to illustrate the power our thoughts have on our sleep).
Catastrophization is very common. If we have thoughts like this (for example, that the ultimate endpoint of our sleep problems is something as dramatic as homelessness) it’s little wonder that we find sleep so difficult and riddled with anxiety — because we are associating how well we sleep with such a dramatic outcome.
In reality, a night of bad sleep is not going to lead to homelessness. It will make the day more difficult, but at the same time there will probably still be positive moments in the day and there may even be some moments of fun, too. In other words, how we perform the next day (and how our day goes overall) isn’t always dependent on how well we sleep.
Sometimes simply adjusting the way we think can be just as effective as taking a sabbatical.
Thank you for sharing your experience — I am so happy that you have found relief and that your sleep has improved. Long may it continue!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It’s no surprise that this affected you deeply and dramatically and that your health (and sleep) were affected.
The idea that we all need eight hours of sleep is a myth — we all have individual sleep needs, so try not to set yourself a sleep duration target. We have no control over sleep duration, so such a target is not constructive.
Can you tell us a bit more about your current sleep? How many hours are you currently getting, and what is a typical night like?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing your sleep issues here. Have you seen a sleep specialist about this? It’s perhaps unsurprising that your sleep was affected by the time you spent in the Arctic — however, after allowing for a period of adjustment you should expect your sleep patterns to return to how they used to be.
Can you tell us a bit more about your sleep as it is right now? Do you struggle with falling asleep, staying asleep, or both? When do you typically go to bed and get out of bed, and how many hours of sleep do you tend to get each night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for your reply. If you are getting between five and six hours of sleep and feel fine and refreshed during the day, it’s unlikely that you have anything to be concerned about. Individual sleep needs are different, and there is no such thing as a ‘one size fits all’ sleep requirement. If you are not sleepy during the day, and you feel refreshed upon waking in the morning to start your day, you may simply be someone who needs a relatively short amount of sleep at night.
If you have any concerns about your sleep (or your palpitations), you should definitely discuss them with your doctor.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi Oz — we’ve talked a lot over email so I will get right down to business and simply answer the great question you posed in your post:
How do I tackle the problem of being so thrilled when I get a good couple of nights that my desire for this to continue leads to anxiety and rebound insomnia?
First, did I get the question right?
If so, my advice would be this — see every single night as a fresh start (because it is). If you had a bad night last night, that doesn’t necessarily mean you will have a bad night tonight. If you had a good night last night, that doesn’t necessarily mean you will have a good night tonight.
When you go to bed, don’t have any expectations. Just see what happens.
Also, bear in mind that improving sleep is a long-term process. So, it’s not always constructive to consider single nights as a measure of success, failure, or progress. Instead, look at your sleep over a longer time-frame. You want to improve the climate, not the weather. In other words, look at the long-term trend rather than what is happening in the short-term.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi Jeff — just thought I’d chime in here. Since we can’t control sleep, it’s important to consider that sleepless nights will always happen. They happen to everyone. However, after a night of no sleep, sleep pressure becomes very strong — and this increases the likelihood of sleep the following night (as long as nothing is done to reduce this sleep pressure, such as napping during the day). Over time, these sleepless nights will become less frequent.
As you know, getting out of bed when unable to sleep isn’t intended to improve sleep that night. Instead, it is intended to break the formed association between the bed and wakefulness by ensuring that the bed is only used for sleep. In other words, if you are awake and in bed, you get out of bed. Over time, this creates a mental link between the bed and sleep (not wakefulness), and makes the bed a much stronger trigger for sleep.
All the techniques you will learn during a course of CBT-I will take time to work, and they require consistent implementation. They are challenging — and that is one reason why sleeping pills are so popular. However, if you remain committed, your sleep will improve and you will be left with life-long skills that you can implement for the rest of your life to ensure better sleep over the long-term.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
