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Time for a recap:
An overview of the story so far:
PART ONE
Quote:The bus was late and the dog was already taking a poop right on the damn I nearly passed out but I managed to beat up a shark the one that ate my dear dead dog. It all happened so quickly, I couldn't even save my own toe!Blasted shark, I started to run away from it, but a luminous blowfish suddenly came from the sewer and started flailing on the ground so I went over and tickled it silly but all it did was pee on my atomic particle generator, which proceeded to spit fire towards the sky, when I got a call from my bank manager to say my account was now frozen because the atomic particle generator gave it a cold and so I asked where do I go if I want to unfreeze the account and he then told me to go back to the bus stop, but suddenly I found myself staring at the big alien craft that must have popped up from deep within the ocean and I suddenly forgot why I was standing completely naked apart from all the non-naked chickens pecking on the sliding glass door of my biomechanical leg replacement.
They broke the mechanism by improperly attempting to ratchet with a wrench when what was needed was a good strong fireman to tweak the mechanism and remove the rogue chicken, which had crawled in there and was deviously planning to disable my main component so I killed it.
As it lay twitching I learned that it was actually a hyena dressed up in a pink tuxedo and yellow shoes, and I thought I really need to get those shoes for my poodle who can't dance without yellow heels because the color yellow gives him wings like red bull commercials, true story.
There's a video on youtube, and it has already had over 3 million views! My friend thought that it was going to flop just like the time at the pool in that trendy L.A. hotel when that vain lifeguard was flexing his guns def. locked and loaded until the lesbian beat a “try” sexual at shed feathers all over my professionally cleaned carpet which made me sad.
PART TWO
Quote:So anyway, back at the swanky hotel bar near the bus stop I was still trying to unfreeze the account that my Bacardi Mojitos spilled on. They reopened the bank, which had I thought, the jewels but little did I know that someone had replaced them with those scary little kewpie dolls!My thoughts went wild because I couldn't even grasp why they existed and so I asked the strange looking lady but she ran screaming I panicked when I heard the police siren and threw the doll out of the window. Then the firemen came and started to kiss the jewels! Where were they going to take the strange looking giraffe which appeared out of place near 5th and 6th street, it craned its neck looking directly at the tiny man trying to bathe In the muddy puddle trying not to splash mud onto the old Bentley that was parked on its roof by the bus stop where the giraffe was trying to figure out when to stick his neck into the coffee shop to use wi-fi to google his friend the map of the outer 5th sector near the rings of Saturn in the galaxy Flarfignhim because their ribs are awesome!
However due to technical issues, the ribs were still stuck to the grill thanks to the chef using the wrong utensil that instead was a comb for my nostril hair that curled and gave great volume to the sensitive cells in my cerebral coretx, although that was negated by my neuro pllastic brain which I got free in a cereal box.
PART THREE
Quote:I couldn't help but think how I got into this situation when I started to spin the LP backwards to 1999. Suddenly I remembered I left my bag in the bag shop behind the red fur I felt relieved, but I couldn't find it even though i was about to be caught knee deep in furs. I decided then that id lost all control, but who cares when partying like 1989 and making out in the car. “I must tell you” I said, as she stood on her hands “remember those feral pigeons..?”She looked at me but it was too late, the pigeons attacked before I could finish my triple decker cheese double down burger with fries in the side cut me up, I was thinking how to get hold of my senses before the burger was eaten by the pigeon with the fake beard.
Then I noticed the glittering necklace in the glove compartment of the bus terminal near the bank at high tide, visible only when you stepped close and I suddenly remembered taking off my clothes and there it was the ever so precious sparkling, shiny jewel of – splash I went as I dove through the vast depths of outer space and beyond to a parallel dimension where everything was just not in working order.
A jelly like goo coated the underside of my once treasured PC. My new iMac was calling to me ever so sadly in that pathetic voice of Dr. Elmer Fudd, MD during surgery to enlarge my unusually enlarged micro sciacanthus which had been inactive for some time – so long in fact, the sciacanthus had dried up prompting Elmer to say “I'm sowwy Mr Wabbit, there's no cure for insomnia. But then again your brain is uniquely adapted to handle the pressure emanating from behind those tired eyes so in future any bouts of insomnia will be terminal. Therefore it's essential that you ask before you sail into the cold night, remember how awful it is to lie awake beside someone who sleeps soundly because all you can think about is how you wish that you could kill them, but you know deep down you just want to hold them tight enough and follow them into the dark depths of…”
Then it sang YMCA and all I could do was sing along because the words are catchy and I wanted to be a happy little insomniac before I run down to the lighthouse at the far end of the winding road downhill towards the magical green ogre who dances the night away every time he gets close to falling asleep which is only if he's had over fifty nights with no sleep.
Continuing on….
So I asked the
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ugh. How have you been getting on with the new pills? I'm assuming from what you've written that they're working for you? Are you able to take them long term, or are they just for the next couple of weeks?
I wonder if you'd not have realized you forgot to take your pills if you'd still be awake; maybe there's some placebo effect at work here? In any case, now you know – don't forget those pills!
Mistakes are merely an opportunity to learn!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I like it – but I've never been as an adult so maybe my memories are playing tricks on me! I love to swim and have fun in the water and their swimming domes are incredible – indoor/outdoor pools, rapids and water slides. Also, if I remember correctly, apart from move in and move out days, no cars are allowed anywhere in the park – so you have to walk or hire a bike for the duration. Lots of nature, lots of relaxation.
I want to go visit again now I'm a grown up (lol) and see if it's still as fun as I remember.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I went to Bognor Regis when I was a kid – remember barely any of it though. Didn't Butlins go bankrupt? Are they still operating?
I've been to Center Parcs a few times and love it there!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I wouldn't want to impede or influence the artistic process – anything related to insomnia would be fun; and you're right, the more that join in, the merrier!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That's awesome!
Maybe we can get you to do a series of them, maybe on the theme 'How insomnia makes me feel'? I could then post them on the blog for all our readers. When Baron comes back we'll have to see if he'd be up for some collaboration.
Anyway, I've well and truly hijacked this thread – maybe we should start a new one in the writers/arts corner to discuss this some more?
Good times
Being reminded just how great the members of this community are
Getting back into home brewing beer – got an ESB on the go this week!
Bad times
Waiting at least 6 weeks before I can taste my new beer!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forums. Do you find that you're able to sleep 'normally' on weekends? What's your profession?
Insomnia Land is different to other websites. We are a small, tight-knit group that offers genuine support and advice – no gimmicks or sales talk here.
I look forward to getting to know you better and to reading more of your posts in the future. Feel free to get involved in any of the other discussions here, no matter how old they are. Oh, and don't be afraid to start new ones, either!
Enjoy your stay, and I hope we can help you deal with your sleep issues.
You are not alone.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I like it – did you draw that today?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I find it really interesting that you write about your body seeing sleep as being akin to death – hence the reason why it is so determined to keep it at bay; like a survival mechanism. Your sense of frustration (but understanding of this) really comes through in the poem, too.
I like how you played with the punctuation as well 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I like it. It's a really interesting piece and really explores the question of what triggers this big shift in our lives from innocence to 'battle-scarred'!
Thanks for sharing.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That's up to you – just something you think relevant to insomnia, or what insomniacs have to go through.
Can't wait to see what you come up with!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ah! I take it you've not used Twitter.com before?
Maybe we need to start a private email directory for those of us who don't use twitter.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Glad to hear you're happy with your reduced medication regime (of course I can't endorse going against the advice of your doctor, though).
Do keep us updated with how you get on with the Sativex – hopefully it was worth the battle!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
We hold them here on the website – we just put up a chat page.
How about we try to schedule something for the end of May, then? That gives us plenty of time to work out a specific day and time that works for everyone, and to get the word out.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
'UliHarp' wrote on '22:Perhaps I'll submit some old poetry on the forum? That seems to be a theme in the Writer's Corner. I think I might have one on insomnia, too…
Sounds like a great idea to me!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
