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What does your experience tell you about the workability of trying to control what you’re thinking and feeling? Does your experience tell you that you can directly and permanently control what’s going on inside you? Does trying to do that have the potential to create a struggle that could make things more difficult?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sounds like you are definitely a human being, GenieB! There are good times and more difficult times and, all the time, your brain is working away and looking out for you by generating all different thoughts, feelings, and stories!
New skills take ongoing practice and there’s often many ups and downs on the journey. Times when it feels as though progress is easy and you’re doing great. Times when it all feels hopeless and impossible. That’s normal. What matters is continuing to practice. Continuing to do things that matter. And continuing to be kind to yourself when things feel difficult.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Vanessa — and good on you for getting the practice in and for continuing to practice!
As you’ve become more skilled in the NOW exercise, how has that helped you? As you’ve become more skilled in the AWAKE exercise, how has that helped you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great stuff here!
Remember that we are all different and that, ultimately, by working through this course you are practicing new skills. New skills take time to develop and progress varies from person to person. I think it’s a bit like how some people can learn a musical instrument really quickly and others take longer. Regardless of the speed of progress what truly matters is getting in the practice!
Good question about what “normal” sleep is — perhaps it’s similar to asking what a “normal” day is? Human beings tend not to feel permanently happy or permanently productive or permanently satisfied throughout the day, week, month, or year. We all tend to experience the full range of human thoughts and feelings as we live our lives.
And, just as each day has its own ups and downs, each day isn’t always better than (or even as good as) the previous day, right? So, perhaps it makes sense that sleep might be a bit like that, too?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I usually release them monthly — glad you are finding them helpful 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Luke — as you mentioned, there are so many things that can disrupt our sleep and many of them cannot be prevented (such as a barking dog or a car alarm going off)! And, our experience usually tells us that we cannot make sleep happen through effort.
So, practicing being kind to ourselves after difficult nights (and when things feel difficult) can definitely be worthwhile!
How do you practice self-kindness, Luke?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you learned something from that experience, Czor! Thanks for sharing that you were still able to get some practice in with the AWAKE exercise when you found yourself struggling.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I still don’t get how to “allow my thoughts and feelings to exist” works but I am no longer trying to push them away. I guess I can compare difficult thoughts to walking down the street and if I saw some garbage (difficult thought) on the floor instead of focusing on it I would just notice its there then soon enough I just don’t think about that trash anymore.
You’ve got it spot on, Czor! As you said, you are no longer trying to push difficult thoughts away — you are acknowledging their presence and then continuing on with whatever you’re doing. The focus of your attention has expanded.
When there’s less struggle, difficult thoughts and feelings aren’t going to consume as much of your energy and attention. When you make space for them to exist, they are less likely to get stuck.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
All human beings experience anxiety since it’s a normal human emotion. What can be helpful is making space for that anxiety to exist — allowing it to come and go as it chooses rather than using our energy and attention in an attempt to fight or avoid it.
Acknowledging the anxiety and being more of an observer of it (or practicing refocusing your attention on where you are and what you are doing if it shows up during the the day) can help us build skill in experiencing it with less struggle.
I hope this helps — and all the best with those kickboxing classes!!!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think that’s fine, Izzy! Once you get to within an hour or so of the start of the sleep window if you are finding it that hard to stay awake, feel free to head off to bed 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I don’t think anybody is claiming that wakefulness doesn’t suck when all we want to do is sleep!
What this comes down to is what’s the most workable way of responding to that wakefulness? What does your own experience tell you is the most workable way of responding to that wakefulness?
There’s probably only two options:
1. Try to fight or avoid the wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with it.
Does your experience tell you this makes sleep happen and permanently eliminates difficult thoughts and feelings so they never come back? Or does this approach tend to create a struggle that makes things more difficult?
2. Practice making space for wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with it.
Building skill in this approach might help you move away from adding struggle on top of all this difficult stuff (and with less struggle perhaps you might also free up some energy and attention to do more of the things that matter to you each day).
It sounds as though you might still be a bit tangled up in trying to control sleep and what you’re thinking and feeling. That makes sense since you — of course! — want sleep to happen and you don’t want to experience difficult thoughts and feelings.
And if your experience tells you that you cannot directly or permanently control sleep, what you think, or how you feel then how workable is that approach?
The NOW or AWAKE exercises cannot make sleep happen. For as long as we try to make sleep happen we are usually setting ourselves up for a struggle.
The NOW exercise is intended to help you build skill in refocusing your attention so you can better do things that matter during the day.
The AWAKE exercise is intended to help you build skill in experiencing wakefulness and the thoughts and feelings that can come with it with less struggle (since struggle tends to make things more difficult — including sleep).
How long were you taking clonazepam and why did you come off it?
If 7 out of 7 nights of sleep were good — if you were to reach that goal of 100% of nights being good for the rest of your life and never experiencing even one difficult night ever again — what would you be doing differently? What would you then be doing that you are unable to do now?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing these insights! Did you find reflecting on those questions (and your own experience) to be a helpful process? How might you use the insights you shared to help you as you continue to move forward?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you’re saying that sleep has always been something important to you! And, while sleep was always important, you still did many things that mattered — you still engaged in lots of different actions and activities that were important to you.
Has that changed, compared to today? When you find yourself tangled up in a struggle with sleep are you finding that you are doing less of the things that matter? Are you engaged in fewer actions and activities that are important to you? If so, could that be making things more difficult?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think you’ve got it, Noel!
Certain things will always matter (especially if they’re important or difficult) so we’re not looking to pretend something doesn’t matter if it does!
What we’re looking to do is respond in a more workable way to the difficult stuff that our experience tells us we cannot control. To acknowledge what we’re experiencing, thinking, feeling. To make space for that stuff to exist (because it’s going to show up whenever it chooses anyway, right?). To be kind to ourselves. And, to continue to do what matters even in its presence.
Because the alternative response is to withdraw from doing things that matter. To engage in a battle and get tangled up in an exhausting, distracting, and endless struggle that pulls us away from the kind of life we want to live.
Does this make things a bit clearer?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing, Genie — it sounds as though you are on the right track and that you got a lot out of the course. The changes you’ve identified and shared are entirely down to your own willingness to explore a new approach and your own commitment to practicing a new approach!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
