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Thanks for sharing, @dennisb!
I think that practicing the AWAKE exercise whenever you find yourself trying to make sleep happen, whenever you find yourself struggling with wakefulness (or the thoughts and feelings that often come with it) can be a sensible approach!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I am not sure it’s possible to delete worry from the mind — and if we could, I doubt any of us would be alive since worry is an important survival mechanism.
What does your experience tell you about this @Kriskin1? Does it tell you that you can successfully and permanently delete worry so that it never comes back? Does it tell you that you can permanently delete certain thoughts so they never appear again?
Or, does it tell you that when you try to control your thoughts and feelings, you get tangled up in a struggle that makes things more difficult?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Luke — it’s great to hear that you are practicing and developing skill in acknowledging and making space for the thoughts and feelings your brain is generating as it does its job of looking out for you.
The more you practice this, the more skilled you will become in experiencing all those thoughts, feelings, and stories with less struggle!
Another response to this for times when you aren’t even in bed yet might be to thank your brain for the thought.
Brain: “What if I can’t sleep tonight?”
You: “Ah! There’s the “what if” story again — thanks, brain!”Difficult nights from time to time are natural and normal and they cannot be controlled (or avoided). What matters is how we respond to them!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s really difficult — and it’s not unusual and there’s no mystery to it, either.
Ultimately, your mind has probably learned to associate going to bed with struggle. And so it has learned that wakefulness is a threat.
Since your brain’s most important job is to look out for you and to protect you, it is going to do everything it can to protect you from anything it feels is a threat — whether that threat is real (like a gorilla trying to break into your house) or imagined (you are awake instead of asleep).
As you know from experience, you cannot directly or permanently control what your brain does. You cannot permanently delete certain thoughts from your mind or get rid of (or create) certain feelings (just as you cannot make sleep happen upon command).
What you can control are your actions. And, though your actions, you can help train your brain that wakefulness isn’t a threat. That even though you might very well wish to be asleep, wakefulness isn’t a threat or a danger.
This can be done by practicing and developing skills that will help you experience wakefulness with less struggle. It can also be done by refocusing attention on doing things that matter, independently of sleep and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings.
This is all stuff we’ll be exploring in a lot more detail as the course progresses.
What time does your sleep window start and what time does it end? Does your experience tell you that sleep is difficult when you go to bed without a strong sense of sleepiness? If so, are you delaying going to bed until a strong sense of sleepiness is present? How do you define “sleepiness”?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though your experience tells you that trying to permanently get rid of anxiety so that it is gone forever isn’t proving to be an effective strategy.
With that in mind, perhaps exploring ways of responding that might help you build skill in experiencing it with less struggle might be a more workable strategy? We’ll be exploring that as the course progresses!
There is no need to be off medication to find the course helpful and, in my experience, medication use doesn’t seem to have much effect on how helpful people find the course.
Many people feel a bit “trapped” taking medication — it’s something they don’t want to take but they feel they need to take it in order to help fight or avoid wakefulness and/or the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it (often because they haven’t found any workable alternatives).
Since the focus of this course is on exploring ways of responding to all this difficult stuff in a more workable way (moving away from struggling with it) many people start to feel better positioned/prepared to move away from medication (in consultation with their doctor) as they work through the course.
There is no need to be off medication to find the course helpful and there is no need to make any changes to any medication to find my course helpful. That’s something you can explore if and when you feel ready.
What can cause some issues is if people decide to come off their medication without having a clear plan in place — success seems to be more likely when there is a clear plan that is committed to, regardless of what happens from night to night.
Perhaps you might want to discuss a tapering-off plan with your doctor, if moving away from medication is one of your goals?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Even if you are using the shortest possible sleep window, it can still be helpful to delay going to bed until you feel sleepy enough for sleep.
With that being said, I would suggest using your own experience as a guide here.
If your experience tells you that you are able to sleep well when you go to bed without feeling a strong sense of sleepiness, feel free to go to bed when the sleep window begins.
If your experience tells you that things can be difficult when you go to bed without feeling a strong sense of sleepiness, it might be worth delaying going to bed until you feel a strong sense of sleepiness.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You can do whatever you like when awake at night!
I would simply suggest making sure that any activity you choose is chosen because it helps you experience wakefulness with less struggle.
If you choose an activity in an attempt to make sleep happen or to control what you might be thinking or feeling you could set yourself up for a struggle that can make things more difficult.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Fantastic — thanks for sharing!
Difficult feelings like anxiety and fear will certainly show up again at some point since they come with being a human being! What matters is how we respond to them 🙂
As you know from experience, trying to fight or avoid them only makes them more difficult and makes it harder to do things that matter — just as trying to fight or avoid nighttime wakefulness only makes it more difficult and makes it harder to do things that matter.
Continuing to do what matters, independently of how we sleep, what we’re thinking, and how we’re feeling (rather than engaging in an endless battle with all those things) is how we reclaim our lives from all this stuff 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Many people find it helpful not to check the time when they wake during the night because not much good usually comes from that information — and certainly nothing can really be done with that information!
I don’t think the sleep window is a ritual unless it’s something you are observing in an attempt to make sleep happen or get rid of wakefulness.
The sleep window is supposed to help us move away from putting effort into sleep; from chasing after it by doing things like going to bed earlier (not because we are sleepy but because we really want sleep to happen) or staying in bed later (to catch up on sleep after a difficult night, for example) or napping during the day.
It’s totally fine to continue observing a sleep window for as long as you feel it’s helping to keep you away from falling back into old habits that you know from experience aren’t helpful 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Genie. You mentioned that it’s easier to accept a difficult night because there are other things you can do at night. You can do things that you like doing, for example.
Are there any opportunities for you to do things that you like doing during difficult days? Even if you find it hard to enjoy certain daytime activities when things feel difficult, perhaps what might be most important is doing things that matter — doing things that are aligned with your values and represent who you are and who you want to be — even if they might not feel as enjoyable?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! It’s great that you are able to acknowledge the presence of frustration and, at the same time, acknowledge that progress is something that you cannot control.
Fortunately, you can always control your actions — just as you implied! And so, there’s no need to try fighting or avoiding difficult thoughts and feelings, there’s no need to try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen — because you can still do things that matter, independently of all those things.
Of course, things might be a whole lot easier and feel a whole lot better if certain thoughts and feelings could be switched off or if there was a magic sleep switch that could be turned on at will. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!
And yet, it just not possible to directly or permanently control our thoughts, our feelings, or our sleep.
So, really, the most workable response to all this difficult stuff is to make space for it to exist, to be kind to ourselves when things feel difficult, and to continue to do things that matter when it is present — and it sounds as though that’s exactly what you’ve been practicing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Genie!
There can be no battle (and, therefore, no struggle) if you refuse to fight with your mind, right?
You’ll likely find yourself getting pulled back into that fight over and over again — and, each time, you can withdraw as soon as you notice that happening.
The more you do that, the more skilled you’ll become at doing what matters even in the presence of difficult stuff that’s out of your control (such as what you think and how you feel).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s totally natural and normal to find yourself getting drawn back into a struggle — any time you notice that happen, you have an opportunity to practice responding in a different way 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I love the analogy!
To extend it further, we could also consider that each train that arrives is going to where we want to go. Yet, every train that turns up has something unpleasant about it.
One train arrives and the doors open and there’s a terrible smell. So we don’t get on the train and we wait for the next one.
The next train arrives and everyone onboard is really loud. So we don’t get on the train and we wait for the next one.
The next train arrives and the windows are jammed open and it’s a cold and rainy day. So we don’t get on the train and we wait for the next one.
This, of course, could continue indefinitely — for as long as we pursue a goal of eliminating discomfort it becomes a lot more difficult (and can take a lot longer) for us to get where we want to go.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question!
There’s no need to practice the AWAKE exercise just because you are awake — but it can be helpful to practice if you find yourself getting drawn into a struggle when you are awake.
You can continue with the AWAKE exercise for as long as you are finding it helpful — and by that, I mean for as long as you are finding that it is helping you practice experiencing wakefulness (and any thoughts and feelings that might also be present) with less struggle.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
