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Thank you so much for sharing your experience and the insights you’ve been collecting on your journey! It sounds as though you are starting to regain control over your actions as you move away from trying to fight or avoid the appearance of certain thoughts and feelings!
In terms of modifying the sleep window and trying to figure out whether this might be an effort to control sleep or fight/avoid certain thoughts and feelings, you might ask yourself what an ideal out of bed time would be if sleep was of no concern whatsoever?
If you had access to a magic sleep switch and could generate the exact amount and type of sleep you’d love to be getting and were living the exact life you want to live, what time would you be getting out of bed in the morning?
I suspect that the time you come up with then, in that scenario, might help guide you when it comes to figuring out when to end your sleep window — what do you think?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There’s that brain of yours, doing it’s job and trying so very hard to look out for you — generating uncomfortable thoughts and feelings (and perhaps some stories, too) when your husband sets his alarm or when you go to bed before him or when it time travels and imagines what the night might bring or reminds you of what past nights might have brought.
That’s just what human brains do (thank goodness, else none of us would be alive today)! Of course, there are often times when we wish the brain would just calm down and not seem to work against us (something it never does even though it sure can feel like that at times) — and yet, we cannot control what the brain does.
And so, a workable way to respond might involve acknowledging what you are thinking and feeling (perhaps thanking your brain for looking out for you) and making space for all those thoughts and feelings to exist (rather than going to war with your mind).
At night, the AWAKE exercise can help with this. During the day, the NOW exercise can help you refocus your attention, even in the presence of difficult or distracting thoughts and feelings. Have you been able to get any practice in with either of those?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I totally agree — it’s completely normal to experience all the thoughts and feelings that come with being a human being! Some feel good. Some do not. All come from a good place, though (your brain looking out for you) — so, with that in mind, perhaps there’s no such thing as a “negative” emotion?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think it’s totally natural to worry — that’s a human feeling! Quite often, it’s when we try to fight or avoid natural and normal human thoughts and feelings that we end up struggling as we can then get tangled up in an endless, exhausting, and distracting battle with our minds!
Perhaps a more useful or workable goal might be not to delete a human feeling from your brain, but to practice responding in a different way — to practice allowing those thoughts and feelings to exist (rather than battling with them) so they might start to lose some of their power and influence over you.
It sure sounds as though you are embracing the idea of gaining some independence and freedom from all this difficult stuff by moving away from going to war with it all!
We’ll be exploring this in a lot more detail as the course progresses!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing! It sounds as though you’ve been finding it helpful to go to bed later, spend more time with your partner, and get some practice in with moving away from trying to control your thoughts and feelings (even the difficult ones)!
You mentioned that you aren’t sure if the 3 good things exercise made a huge change — if it had made a huge change (or a more noticeable change) what would have been different?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great question, Todd!
What does your experience tell you when it comes to going to bed before you feel sleepy?
Does your experience tell you that you are able to fall asleep pretty easily if sleepiness isn’t present? If so, you might allow yourself to go to bed as soon as your sleep window begins.
Or, does your experience tell you that sleep tends to be difficult when you go to bed before you feel a strong sense of sleepiness? If so, you might want to wait for sleepiness to show up before going to bed.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello!
This is a big topic that we’ll be really exploring in a lot of detail as the course progresses!
In the meantime, would you like to share how you have been responding to the appearance of anxiety up to this point and how effective you have found that approach to be?
Your own experience might be a helpful guide when it comes to figuring out a workable plan forward 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As others have shared, it’s totally natural for anxiety to come and go — it’s all part of the human experience. Thoughts and feelings come and go. They flow throughout the day.
Just as our breathing varies during the day and just as our heart rate varies throughout the day, our thoughts and feelings vary and change throughout the day, too 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep can happen whether a light is on or not — things can get more difficult if we start to experiment with light levels in an attempt to control sleep (something that cannot be directly or permanently controlled)!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
For many of us, how we feel when we first wake/get out of bed is the worst we’ll feel all day (although everyone is different). Quite often, as the day progresses, we can start to feel a bit better as we become more active and engaged in life and the world around us.
Even if we continue to feel sluggish and continue to crave more sleep throughout the day, we can still do things that matter — the only alternative is to do less of what matters and that doesn’t usually help us feel any better!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Tiredness comes with being a human being and is influenced by many different things (sleep being just one). And, tiredness can come and go and feel more or less intense at different times of the day for all different reasons 🙂
The appearance of tiredness can be one of those things that can get us a bit tangled up in a struggle since we can end up getting a bit distracted by it — trying to figure it out, trying to identify the cause, trying to fight or avoid it.
Since we can’t really control the thoughts and feelings that go on inside us, the more we try the more we can end up struggling.
So, what might be most helpful is to acknowledge the presence of tiredness (or any other difficult or unpleasant thought or feeling), to be kind to yourself, and to continue to do things that matter even when it is present — just as you mentioned at the end of your post!
We’ll be exploring all of this in a lot more detail as the course progresses!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing, Luke! It sounds as though you found it helpful to get some practice in with making space for wakefulness and the anxiety that can come with it.
Remember that the goal with acceptance isn’t to make you feel more calm (if that happens, it’s simply a bonus)! The goal is to help you practice moving away from engaging in a battle with all that stuff. As you know from experience, battling it often makes things more difficult!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Genie — it sounds as though you are doing more living than struggling! When you say the days are more of a struggle, what do you mean by that?
Are you finding that you are getting pulled back into a battle with difficult thoughts and feelings (something that creates a struggle) or are you experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings (something that comes with being a human being)?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great stuff! Fatigue was present and you had a choice — go to the movies and experience fatigue or don’t go to the movies and experience fatigue. It sounds as though the choice you made was one that helped you move toward the life you want to live, even in the presence of fatigue 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Genie! It sure sounds as though that value is one that can also help you practice being kinder to yourself when things feel difficult!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
