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It’s perfectly OK to stay in bed when you are awake. The more you can practice experiencing wakefulness in bed with less struggle, the more skilled you will become in experiencing wakefulness with less struggle. Struggle tends to make things more difficult.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
1. Insomnia typically exists because of our efforts to get rid of it — our attempts to make sleep happen when we want it to happen.
2. People who have “recovered” have often become more skilled in responding to wakefulness with less struggle. So, when difficult nights happen they are less likely to respond in ways that perpetuate that sleep disruption.
3. Difficult nights from time to time are normal, just as difficult days from time to time are normal. For as long as you are a human being, difficult nights will show up from time to time just as difficult days will show up from time to time. What matters is our response to difficult nights — because that determines how much power and influence they will have over our lives.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I typically suggest anything that helps you practice experiencing wakefulness with less struggle. Examples might include reading, listening to music, or engaging in a hobby or other interest.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Insomnia is kept alive by all our attempts to get rid of it. If you are tossing and turning during the night, that implies that there might be a bit of a struggle going on — and struggle tends to make things more difficult.
Sleep restriction (nor any other action, for that matter) can make sleep happen because sleep cannot be directly controlled. Sleep restriction is simply one tool that can help us move away from chasing after sleep, trying to make it happen (for example, by doing things like going to bed earlier or staying in bed later).
No matter how severe someone’s insomnia might be, they will always sleep in the end. It’s impossible to stay awake indefinitely. The longer we are awake, the more likely sleep is to happen. The more we actively try to make sleep happen, the more difficult it becomes — but it will still happen in the end.
If you recognize that spending time on insomnia forums isn’t proving helpful, it might be worth taking a break from them — you are the expert on you!
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best. You aren’t alone.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum — you are not alone.
Were you implementing all the sleep hygiene tips and tricks when you were sleeping well? If not, perhaps they aren’t needed for sleep after all!
Were you taking medication a few months ago when you were sleeping well? If not, perhaps your body doesn’t need them for sleep to happen, either.
Ultimately, insomnia is kept alive by all our understandable attempts to get rid of it. The more we try, the more we usually struggle (that’s why you slept so well without any effort a few months ago).
When creating a sleep window, it doesn’t matter whether you are taking medication or not — it’s based on the sleep you are currently getting on an average night, based on what’s happened over the past couple of weeks.
If you are in any doubt as to what kind of a sleep window to start with, if you think you’re typically getting less than six hours each night you might want to start with a six hour sleep window for a week or two and go from there.
I hope there’s something helpful here and I wish you all the best.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds really difficult.
Our daughter’s sleep got progressively worse from about six months of age. By this time, it was taking at least two or three hours for her to fall asleep at night, and she woke frequently during the night.
My wife and I found the book The Happy Sleeper by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright to be extremely helpful.
One method suggested by the authors is to allow your baby five minutes of crying time before you enter the room. When you enter the room, you do so for only a few seconds so your baby knows he or she isn’t alone. You are told not to physically comfort your baby, but instead, to say something like, “It’s time for sleep. Mommy and daddy are just outside. We love you. Goodnight!” The idea is to allow your baby time to self-soothe (something frequent interruptions can prevent).
For us, the first night of “sleep training” was the hardest. It took over two hours for our daughter to finally fall asleep (with one of us going into the room to reassure her every five minutes). She then woke shortly after midnight and took about two hours to fall back to sleep (again, with one of us entering the room for reassurance every five minutes).
The second night was much easier. Our daughter fell asleep in half the time and was awake for only a couple of hours during the night. By the third night, she was falling asleep by herself within about an hour and spent about the same amount of time awake during the night. The improvements continued at a rapid pace.
By the end of the first week, she was falling asleep within about half an hour and was spending about that much time awake at night. After the first week, we only had to enter the room to verbally comfort our daughter once or twice each night.
The speed of the improvement in our daughter’s sleep was remarkable. Yes, the first night was extremely difficult — but things got better.
As for tackling your own sleep issues as a parent, you might find something useful in Cindy’s experience with postpartum insomnia.
I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds really difficult, Pete.
It sounds as though your experience is telling you that the more you try to make sleep happen, the more difficult it seems to become. Does that sound about right?
If so, perhaps refocusing attention toward what you can control might be helpful. For example, it sounds as though being active is important to you. You might not feel able to run 50 miles when things are difficult — but perhaps just stepping outside (even when it feels absolutely impossible) and going for a walk around the block might be more helpful than staying indoors.
Concern about your ability to do your job is understandable and suggests that it is something that’s important to you. When was the last time you passed out in front of your students or found yourself unable to communicate and teach your class because of how you slept?
If that hasn’t happened over the past year, perhaps thanking your brain for sharing its concerns with you and then continuing to act how you would like to act might be the most workable way of responding.
The alternative is to act in ways you would not like to act (take a leave of absence, for example) and to move away from the life you want to live. If you do that, how would it make things any better?
I hope there’s something useful to consider here and I wish you all the best.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are definitely not alone!
If you had a magic wand and could get the exact amount and type of sleep you wanted to get, what would you then be able to do that you cannot do when sleep isn’t happening as you’d like it to happen?
Is taking medication, gummies, or OTC products something that you feel comfortable with? Does it create the exact amount and type of sleep you want to get, without fail?
Do you feel there’s a possibility that trying to control sleep and what you think or feel might be contributing to the struggle you’ve described?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for returning with an update!
You mentioned that being more accepting can soften difficult thoughts and feelings — if someone is reading this and has no idea what it means to be more accepting, how would you describe that?
I appreciated you sharing that there is ALWAYS hope — I totally agree!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing all the stuff your brain is generating as it does its job of looking out for you. You might feel like a failure — that doesn’t mean you are a failure.
Why are you trying to shake the fear of not sleeping? In your experience, does trying to get rid of certain thoughts and feelings permanently delete them from your mind so they never return? If not, perhaps trying to make that happen might be making things more difficult?
When you are awake at night and feel anxious, how do you respond to that anxiety?
When things feel difficult during the day, how do you respond? Are you continuing to do things that matter? Are you being kind to yourself?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing — it sounds as though you are becoming more skilled in experiencing difficult stuff that’s out of your control with a bit less struggle! Those are skills that can be developed regardless of whether you are taking medication or not 🙂
Thank you for sharing that you feel ready to move away from medication — have you discussed a plan for that with your doctor? Are you going to taper off over time or go “cold turkey”?
However you choose to move forward, I wish you all the best and we are all here to support you 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Difficult nights of sleep from time to time are all part of being a human being! Remember that the goal of the AWAKE exercise isn’t to get rid of anxiety, to make sleep happen, or to change what you think or how you feel. The goal is to help you build skill in experiencing all that stuff with less struggle.
Sometimes you might find that anxiety temporarily disappears after practicing the AWAKE exercise, or that sleep happens after practicing the AWAKE exercise — and, if that happens, it’s OK to enjoy that!
Please think of it as a bonus, though — because that’s not the intent of the exercise!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s great to hear! It definitely sounds as though you are living a life that’s more aligned with your values and that’s all down to your own efforts and commitment.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I know that we discussed this through email, but for the benefit of others who read this and might have been unclear on how to apply the Week 4 lesson on thoughts vs actions with insomnia, here is some additional information:
Thoughts vs actions relates to insomnia since we can easily end up being controlled by our thoughts in ways that aren’t helpful.
We might act in ways we’d rather not act because of the thoughts our mind is generating (either because our mind is saying we cannot or should not do something — even though that might be important to us — or because we are trying to fight or avoid certain thoughts).
The lesson is intended to help us explore the possibility of acting independently of our thoughts. As we know, when we are struggling with sleep we tend to experience a lot of different (and often difficult) thoughts.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for sharing, Genie! We can’t control our thoughts and feelings — only our actions. And, it’s our actions that truly matter since its our actions that determine whether we move toward the life we want to live or away from the life we want to live 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
