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Things sure sound challenging for you right now! Unfortunately, sleep apnea isn’t my area of expertise and I am not a doctor so I can’t offer you any treatment advice.
It sounds as though you are currently doing a lot to make sleep happen; I am not sure there’s a whole lot more you can do at the current time. Typically, with chronic insomnia, the more we try to avoid nighttime wakefulness the more we struggle with it. In your situation, things are definitely more complicated with the presence of the sleep apnea.
Outside of your efforts to resolve the situation you find yourself in with your sleep, what other actions are you pursuing that might help you move toward your goal of getting your life back?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’d suggest talking to your doctor about this. You might also find this forum thread useful: Anyone got off ambien?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello and welcome to the forum, Mom3!
Have you tried allowing your mind to do what it wants to do when you wake in the middle of the night? I wonder if the struggle might come from trying to control your mind in the middle of the night?
You might also want to give yourself permission to remain in bed for as long as that feels comfortable — no obligation to get out of bed! If that wakefulness starts to feel unpleasant, you might simply do something more pleasant instead and there’s no need to get out of bed to do that (well, unless you plan on playing the piano — that might be a bit tricky to do from your bed).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think that, in life, there will always be people in a better situation than us and there will always be people in a worse situation than us.
When sleep becomes a big focus of our lives we can easily lose track of what’s important to us. We can get pushed away from doing things that are important and meaningful or end up doing things that aren’t aligned with our values.
It often takes conscious effort and ongoing practice to acknowledge the difficulties we are facing, to be kind to ourselves in response, and to commit to doing things that keep us moving toward the life we want to live and the person we want to be — even in the presence of all this difficult stuff in our lives.
If you find yourself abusing drugs or medication in an attempt to generate sleep, I would encourage you to seek qualified medical help (something that cannot be offered in this forum, unfortunately).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Sara and welcome to the forum! Can you tell us a bit more about the sleep restriction you’re implementing? What time do you go to bed and what time do you get out of bed? When you wake at 4:00 AM, why do you think you find yourself unable to get back to sleep? How are you currently responding to that wakefulness at 4:00 AM?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum! What is your current approach to difficult nights and how is that working out for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Fear is normal and understandable and it’s a sign that your brain is looking out for you.
If there was a magic wand I could wave to get rid of wakefulness and all the really difficult thoughts and feelings that like to come with it, I would wave it for you and get rid of all that difficult stuff for you. Heck, I wouldn’t even charge you!! Free wand waves for you and for everyone else, too!
Unfortunately, such a magic wand doesn’t exist. Let’s pretend it did, though — if it did, what would you be doing differently with your life?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think that this might demonstrate that more goes into how we feel than how much sleep we get! Nothing more, nothing less!
Would you say that tracking your sleep each night helps you direct attention on actions that help you live the kind of life you want to live? Or, do you think there might be a possibility that it could be directing attention toward sleep (something that cannot be controlled) and, therefore, giving it more of an influence over your life?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you’ve gathered some evidence that you are a human being — since all human beings experience sleep disruption from time to time!
What can make things more difficult is responding in an unworkable way to sleep disruption — a way that involves trying to make sleep happen, trying to avoid wakefulness, and/or going to war with the thoughts and feelings our brain generates as it does its job of looking out for us! These approaches are understandable but unworkable because we cannot control sleep and we cannot control our minds!
Anxiety is natural and normal and doesn’t prevent sleep from happening. Trying to fight or avoid it sure can, though!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, quadro!
We all have difficult nights from time to time, just as we all have difficult days from time to time. That’s natural and normal and all part of being a human being (you are a human being, right?)!
What can happen is that after a difficult night or a stretch of difficult nights our brains start to generate concern (thank goodness — without a brain expressing concern, none of us would be alive). The brain generates concern to look out for us; to protect us and to keep us moving toward the kind of life we want to live and the person we want to be.
Since all this concern often doesn’t feel good (to get our attention our brain will often generate difficult thoughts and feelings like worry and anxiety) we often put all our efforts into getting rid of the thoughts and feelings themselves — and, in the case of insomnia, trying to fight the wakefulness itself.
Unfortunately none of that stuff can be controlled. We can’t control what our mind thinks about, the feelings it generates, and we can’t control sleep, either. The more we try, the more we struggle.
So, what might be a more workable approach could involve acknowledging what cannot be controlled. Acknowledging the thoughts and feelings we experience. Acknowledging wakefulness when it happens. And then committing to actions that keep us moving toward the life we want to live and the person we want to be, even in the presence of all that difficult stuff.
Ultimately, if we continue to do things that matter (even in the presence of difficult stuff that’s out of our control) all that difficult stuff might be less influential and consume less of our attention. And, with sleep, the less of a focus it becomes and the less of an influence we allow it to have, the easier it tends to become.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sure sounds as though you’ve got a lot on your plate right now, Alcorr — no wonder you are finding it hard to switch off “go-mode”!
It’s understandable that your mind is trying to tell you that you can’t show up for your kids if you don’t get a certain amount or type of sleep, because showing up for your kids is important to you!
The truth of the matter is that you are showing up for you kids, each and every day, independently of the sleep you get — and you can and will continue to do that, because it’s so important to you.
In other words, your mind is simply reminding you of what matters and what’s important. So, there’s no need to fight with your mind — it’s on your side!
It’s no surprise that you haven’t found sleep hygiene useful since all those rituals don’t really tackle the true cause of chronic insomnia — all our attempts to avoid wakefulness and make sleep happen!
Have you tried working through my free insomnia sleep training course? I think you might find it useful!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for sharing — it sounds as though you’ve generated evidence that you are completely capable of generating good nights of sleep!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum! There’s nothing unique or unusual in your experience (you might find this video helpful, too):
What to think about when you get into bed to help you relax and make sleep happen
Our thoughts and feelings cannot be controlled — the more we try, the more we struggle. I wonder if it might be helpful to take a step back and refocus here. If you were getting the exact amount and type of sleep you desired, what would you be doing differently in your life?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Julia! Your experience is not unusual.
Let me ask you this: if you remove sleep from the equation completely, when you have a difficult day do you consider yourself to be back to square one with your life? Or, do you only consider that might be the case when you have a difficult night?
If there’s a difference between how you respond to a difficult day and a difficult night, perhaps there might be an insight to be discovered there?
In terms of practicing CBT-I, what are you currently doing? Oh, and how are you currently responding to that anxiety when it shows up?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sometimes the more we try to control our thoughts and feelings the more we might struggle — because we just cannot control our minds.
Since it sounds as though you haven’t found it possible to stop thinking, perhaps a different approach might be worthwhile? An approach where you acknowledge and allow all the thoughts and feelings your mind chooses to generate, for example? This might help remove you from the struggle and free up some energy and attention so you can do things that might be more meaningful and important to you.
In terms of the boredom of the night, since we always have control over our actions I wonder if it might be worth spending a bit of time exploring any potential activities you could do instead of dealing with boredom all night and battling with your mind all night? Such activities don’t necessarily need to feel fun — they might simply be more appealing compared to the alternative!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
