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Welcome to the forum! I think it might be helpful to clarify that the goal of getting out of bed during the night isn’t to make sleep happen (although that might be a bonus side effect) because sleep cannot be controlled.
Instead, the goal is to get out of bed when being in bed doesn’t feel good so we have a more pleasant alternative to being in bed when being in bed doesn’t feel good. We also prevent ourselves from reinforcing a negative association between the bed and unpleasant wakefulness.
So, with this in mind, it might be helpful to allow yourself to remain in bed when you wake for as long as being in bed feels good. No need to monitor for 20-minute chunks of time — just use how you feel as your guide! If being in bed doesn’t feel good, that can be a good time to get out of bed and do anything more enjoyable until you feel conditions are right for sleep.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You definitely aren’t alone, Sluck! Feeling nervous before going to bed is completely normal and understandable if you have experienced many nights of sleep difficulties!
Our brain is an expert when it comes to forming associations — just as our mouth might water when we smell bread because it associates the smell of baking with delicious bread, our mind might start to worry when it’s time for bed if it has associated the bed with sleep difficulties and uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
The good news is that since this association has been learned, it can be unlearned! We can do this, over time, by making sure we only go to bed when we feel truly sleep enough for sleep (we are finding it hard to stay awake) and it can be helpful to get out of bed whenever being in bed doesn’t feel good to do something a bit more pleasant instead.
The more time we spend in bed when being in bed feels good, the more we might “relearn” to associate the bed with pleasant wakefulness and sleep.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Michael and welcome to the forum. I can’t recommend any review sites for sleep doctors but you might want to check out the provider directory on the website for the Society of Behavioral Sleep Medicine.
In terms of whether chronic insomnia is psychological — that’s definitely an influence! There’s no real mystery behind chronic insomnia — it’s fuelled by our thoughts and behaviors. So, although there can be as many triggers for initial sleep disruption as there are people in the world, if sleep disruption sticks around for longer than a few months, the initial trigger is often no longer to blame — at that point, our sleep disruption is usually down to a change in our sleep-related thoughts and behaviors.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Batgirl, and thanks for sharing your story and your completely understandable concerns!
First of all, please be reassured that there’s no evidence that chronic insomnia causes brain damage — and that might be because the body will always generate, at the very least, the minimum amount of sleep we need.
After five or six hours of sleep you will have almost certainly got all of your deep and most restorative sleep (N3 sleep) so an extra hour probably wouldn’t have a huge effect on how you feel during the day (that’s influenced more by what we do during the day and what happens to us during the day).
In any case, it sounds as though you are really making progress and you are sleeping better since you stopped taking the antidepressant!
May I ask what time you usually go to bed at night and what time you get out of bed to start your day in the morning?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum! If only there was a magic “sleep switch” we could flick and make sleep happen when we wake after five or six hours of sleep! Unfortunately, there isn’t. However, the good news is that if the body really needs more sleep it will generate more sleep.
Sometimes we experience the most difficulties with falling back to sleep when we wake during the night because we really want more sleep to happen and we put effort into falling back to sleep. When we try to control sleep, we can make sleep a lot more difficult.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I really appreciate your kind words and appreciate you letting me know that you are finding the content here and on the YouTube channel helpful!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Here’s a video about relapses that you might find helpful, too: When insomnia comes back: how to deal with insomnia relapses when insomnia returns.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing, Jim — I just know that many people are going to find your post helpful and inspirational!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing! What were the unhelpful habits you were able to identify as you worked through the course? What do you feel were the most helpful techniques you implemented?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Those great stretches prove that you have a natural ability to sleep (and to sleep well) and are evidence that you don’t need sleeping pills to generate sleep!
Can you tell us a bit more about your current sleep schedule? What time do you go to bed at night, what time do you get out of bed to start your day in the morning, and — over the past couple of weeks — how many hours of sleep would you say you average?
It’s hard to shut off thoughts. The good news is that thoughts are just thoughts — they can make us feel uncomfortable, but they cannot harm us. Perhaps it might be more helpful to allow uncomfortable thoughts to enter your mind as and when they choose, rather than trying to fight or avoid them?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What time do you usually go to bed at night, Kwamp?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Ann! When do you usually go to bed at night, when do you get out of bed to start your day in the morning, and how many hours of sleep would you say you get on an average night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Ezzo! Why do you feel it’s hard to fall back to sleep when you wake around 3:00 AM – 4:00 AM?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing that big insight:
Allow yourself to feel the pain and the anxiety, accept it and realize you can’t tyrannize your mind. The more you try to force yourself to be calm or to not think about sleep, the more your mind will resist. While you may not be able to control your thoughts or emotions, you can control how you respond.
We don’t need to let go of fear — because the brain’s default position is usually to generate fear and to focus on the worst possible outcome (regardless of accuracy or likelihood). What can be helpful is accepting and acknowledging fear rather than trying to fight or suppress it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
40 years is a long time — but you’re still a long way behind Sally who got rid of her insomnia after 60 years!
Have you heard of cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
