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Feeling sleepy before the start of your sleep window and then not sleepy when the sleep window begins is a common symptom of conditioned arousal — you are recognizing sleepiness cues before the sleep window begins because you know that it is not time to sleep. In other words, there is no “performance anxiety” or pressure to sleep.
You are just as sleepy when the sleep window begins, but the arousal system is suppressing those sleepiness cues to “protect” you from the night of struggle it is predicting.
You might find this video helpful: What to do when you feel sleepy early in the evening but don’t feel sleepy when it’s time for bed.
Making sure that you build enough sleep drive before going to bed by observing an appropriate sleep window can help override the arousal system, and getting out of bed when you are struggling can prevent you from reinforcing the idea that your bed is a place for unpleasant wakefulness.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s not too surprising that you are struggling with sleep even after the initial triggers aren’t an issue because insomnia is perpetuated by our reaction to the initial sleep disruption — we, quite naturally, start to think (and worry) more about sleep and implement behaviors such as spending more time in bed and modifying our days to try to improve our sleep. Unfortunately, all these thoughts and behaviors actually make it harder for our sleep to recover.
I would suggest starting with sleep restriction by creating an appropriate sleep window since this will help build sleep drive, reduce the amount of time you spend awake at night, and bring a bit more consistency and predictability to your sleep.
This may be all that’s needed to help get your sleep back on track.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your concerns are completely understandable! One thing that might be worth asking yourself is how well you sleep at night when you take naps during the day. If you sleep well at night after a nap, then you know that naps aren’t a problem. If you aren’t sleeping well at night, it might be a good idea to avoid those daytime naps.
Naps, in general, can feel great at the time but they reduce sleep drive and this can make sleep at night more difficult. So, you are effectively “kicking the can down the road” every time you nap during the day. If you feel you absolutely must nap, it’s a good idea to take the nap as early in the day as possible and to limit the nap to around 20 minutes.
The exception here is if you need to take a safety nap, since safety trumps everything. So, if you are going to be driving or doing anything that requires you to be awake but you think you might fall asleep, a safety nap is always appropriate.
Here’s a short video you might find helpful: Why you should avoid daytime naps if you have chronic insomnia.
When it comes to implementing sleep restriction, it’s important to consider that sleep drive always wins in the end — we cannot stay awake indefinitely! So, if you allot an appropriate amount of time for sleep and only allow yourself to sleep during that time, that is when you will sleep.
When you observe an appropriate and consistent sleep window, you will recognize a stronger sense of sleepiness at night and spend less time awake during the night. This will usually lead to less sleep-related worry and anxiety, and this leads to better sleep, which leads to less sleep-related worry and anxiety.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are not alone, MB!
If you are in bed awake at night and your mind is racing and being in bed is unpleasant, it’s usually a good idea to get out of bed and do something you find relaxing and enjoyable until you feel calm and relaxed. Then, return to bed and see what happens.
One of the best ways to reduce the amount of time you spend awake during the night is to make sure you are not allotting too much time for sleep. What time do you currently go to bed at night and when do you get out of bed to start your day in the morning? How many hours of sleep do you get on an average night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello AK and welcome to the forum. It sounds to me as though hyperarousal might be playing a role in your current difficulties with sleep. That’s because it’s clear from your post that you are (quite understandably!) paying a lot of attention to sleep.
I can also see a lot of sleep efforts such as taking supplements, meditation routines, and the implementation of sleep hygiene techniques.
Unfortunately, all these things can actually make sleep more difficult!
First of all, I think you would find it very helpful not to check the time or pay any attention to the time between getting into bed and getting out of bed. Checking the time during the night rarely helps us fall back to sleep if we have any concern about sleep!
Bear in mind, too, that waking during the night is completely normal! Most people pay no attention to these awakenings so they fall back to sleep very quickly and rarely even remember them. Unfortunately, as soon as we become concerned with these awakenings, we activate the arousal system and this can make it harder to fall back to sleep.
Another thing that can be helpful with nighttime awakenings is simply to allot an appropriate amount of time for sleep. You mentioned a bedtime between 9:00 PM and 10:00 PM and a wake time between 5:00 AM and 6:00 AM. This means you are allotting between seven and nine hours for sleep.
I would suggest figuring out your average nightly sleep duration taken over a week or two, adding half-hour or so to that and allotting that much time for sleep each night for a few weeks. This should help build sleep drive and reduce the amount of time you spend awake during the night.
Getting out of bed when being in bed becomes unpleasant is also helpful over the long-term since it prevents you from reinforcing the idea that the bed is a place for unpleasant wakefulness rather than sleep.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
In my opinion, if your long-term goal is to sleep in your own bed with your husband then that is the only place you should allow yourself to sleep.
In the short-term, it might be easier to sleep in a different bed but — as you pointed out — this doesn’t help address any conditioned arousal that might still be present with your own bed. So, all the initial problems with sleep might return as soon as you return to your own bed.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear about your ongoing struggle with sleep. Have you tried implementing cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sounds as though you are doing well, Jack! Thanks for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Are you checking the clock when you wake during the night? If so, it can be very helpful to avoid doing this since it only usually serves to activate the arousal system and make falling back to sleep more difficult.
When you wake during the night, it can be helpful to remind yourself that waking during the night is completely normal. If you feel calm and relaxed then it’s perfectly fine to stay in bed since conditions are right for sleep. If you find yourself “trying” to sleep, tossing and turning, feeling worried, anxious, or frustrated, or being in bed just no longer feels pleasant, then it’s a good idea to get out of bed and do something you find relaxing and enjoyable until you feel calm and relaxed, then return to bed and see what happens.
I hope this helps! Glad to hear you are implementing sleep restriction and that you are noticing results!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Glad to hear you’re feeling better! It’s perfectly fine to take a break from cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques when you are unwell since your priority is rest and recuperation! When you feel ready to do so you can just re-implement all the techniques again and continue onwards!
You might find this short video helpful: What to do if you catch a cold / become unwell when implementing CBT for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I would suggest starting by allotting an appropriate amount of time for sleep each night and giving yourself an earliest possible bedtime and latest possible out of bed time in the morning.
This will help build sleep drive and reduce nighttime wakefulness — and that will help improve sleep confidence and reduce sleep-related worry and anxiety.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There’s no evidence to suggest that insomnia can damage the stomach and since chronic insomnia is perpetuated by our thoughts and behaviors rather than things like an upset stomach, addressing these thoughts and behaviors is usually far more constructive when it comes to improving sleep for the long term.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
A white noise machine might be helpful if external environmental sounds are disrupting your sleep. I am not sure how effective a white noise machine will be when it comes to reducing hyperarousal, though.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s not too surprising that sleep issues are lingering even though the initial trigger is no longer an issue. That’s because insomnia is perpetuated by the thoughts we have in response to sleep disruption and the behaviors we implement in a bid to improve our sleep that actually make sleep more difficult.
Some examples include experimenting with medication and supplements, spending a lot of time thinking about sleep and researching sleep, spending more time in bed, modifying our day in response to a hard night of sleep, canceling plans with friends, calling in sick to work, etc.
Since our thoughts and behaviors perpetuate insomnia, addressing these thoughts and behaviors is the best way to address chronic insomnia — and this is why cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) is so helpful.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The onset of menopause absolutely can (and does!) have a negative effect on sleep. However, once the body adjusts to this change, sleep is able to recover all by itself.
Unfortunately, what can happen is that when sleep disruption happens (regardless of the initial trigger), we start to think about sleep (and worry about sleep) more than we did before. We can engage in sleep-related research and spend time worrying about sleep. We can also implement behaviors in a bid to improve our sleep that actually make it harder for our sleep to get back on track. These behaviors include things like experimenting with pills and supplements, spending more time in bed, modifying our days, etc.
All these thoughts and behaviors (which are completely understandable!) unfortunately perpetuate the problem. Since cognitive and behavioral techniques help address these thoughts and behaviors, they can help improve sleep regardless of the initial trigger.
You can find many examples of people who have found CBT-I helpful by looking in the insomnia success stories forum, the client case studies page, and the Insomnia Coach Podcast.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
