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That’s a good mantra to practice — simply because we can’t control sleep. Trying to sleep and/or worrying about sleep never improves sleep (in fact, it usually leads to worse sleep). So, accepting each night as a fresh start and simply seeing what happens can help take the pressure off and increase the likelihood of sleep.
Let us know how you get on, Anne!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
A few suggestions when it comes to addressing middle of the night insomnia:
* Make sure you are scheduling an appropriate amount of time for sleep (allotting too much time for sleep increases the amount of time spent awake during the night)
* Make sure you get out of bed when you can’t sleep
* Don’t do anything to reduce sleep pressure (for example, going to bed earlier than normal, staying in bed later than normal, napping during the day)
* Practice relaxation techniques
None of the above techniques work immediately. They may take weeks of consistent practice before you notice significant improvements in your sleep.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Davy and welcome to the forum. Everyone here knows what you are going through, and we’re all here to support you. It’s little wonder that you are struggling to sleep when you equate sleep problems with losing your house — that would keep anyone up at night.
You mention that you have tried all different types of drugs. When you spoke to your doctor did they mention cognitive behavioral treatment for insomnia (CBT-I)? What do you think is stopping you from sleeping through the night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Wow, 15 years of taking antidepressants is a very long time. The fact you managed to wean yourself off them must have been a huge challenge and the fact you managed it is quite an accomplishment. Congratulations!
It’s very unlikely that your body isn’t making melatonin. It’s far more likely that your arousal system (also known as the ‘fight or flight system’) is overpowering your sleep system and making sleep difficult. The arousal system is easily activated — usually as soon as we worry about sleep, try to sleep, or during times of stress or anxiety.
You mentioned that you tried a CBT course and it didn’t work for you. What course did you try, and why do you think it wasn’t effective? Was there any particular technique that you felt wasn’t helpful?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Gwen. How much sleep do you think you get on a typical night? Has your husband told you that you snore during the night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
When it comes to sleep/wake times, the time you get up in the morning should be the one time that stays absolutely consistent. That’s because, even after you have a sleep window with a set start time and end time, the start of your sleep window is the earliest time at which you can go to bed. So, if your sleep window starts but you don’t feel sleepy, it’s best not to go to sleep until you do feel sleepy. As a result, there may be some variation in when you go to bed.
In your case, since you want to be out of bed at 6.30am, you should count back from there. Of course, this then leads you to the issue you described with your husband making sleep difficult. Unfortunately, CBT-I cannot prevent sleep interruptions caused by your husband snoring!
Has your husband spoken to his doctor about his snoring? Have you tried earplugs or other strategies to minimize the noise that disrupts your sleep?
Finally, it’s important to note that rest and deep relaxation are not the same as sleep. When we stay in bed for longer than appropriate to get more rest and/or relaxation, we will almost always simply spend more time awake in bed. This creates an association (or strengthens the association) between the bed and wakefulness (rather than sleep) and gives us more opportunity to be awake in bed worrying about sleep and feeling frustrated about being unable to sleep. All these consequences disrupt sleep and override any potential benefits associated with staying in bed.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Well, the good news is that the most effective treatment (CBT-I) isn’t a medication.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep restriction would involve allotting no more than 5.5 hours for sleep if you typically get 5 hours of sleep (or fewer) on an average night. Otherwise, simply add half an hour to your average nightly sleep duration.
Stimulus control involves getting out of bed for half an hour if unable to sleep after about half an hour.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Theresa. I just thought I’d link to this article I wrote about sleep issues related to traumatic brain injury. You may find it helpful:
https://www.healthcentral.com/article/how-and-why-traumatic-brain-injury-harms-sleep
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Belle and welcome to the forum. What is a typical night like for you? When do you go to bed, when do you get out of bed, and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get at night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As you correctly said, sleep is a natural function of the body — and your ability to sleep never goes away. I can’t imagine how tough it must be to be taking sleeping pills for 10 years. Sleeping pills are only ever recommended for short-term use, so I am disappointed to hear that this is the only solution you have been offered by your doctor.
Have you asked your doctor about cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia? It’s consistently proven as the best treatment option for insomnia — and it’s recommended as the first-line treatment for insomnia by professional organizations such as The National Institutes of Health, The American College of Physicians, The American Academy of Sleep Medicine, and The British Association for Psychopharmacology.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Here’s the thing, Jilly — yes, if you stay in bed for longer you might get an extra hour or so of broken sleep. How often does this happen, though?
Let’s say your average sleep duration is five hours. So, your sleep ‘capability’ is five hours. Let’s say you decide to spend seven hours in bed in a bid to get more sleep. For argument’s sake, let’s say that a third of the time you will get a bit more sleep, a third of the time you might get a bit of rest, and a third of the time you will be lying awake, worried and frustrated about being unable to sleep.
By staying in bed for this extra hour, you are trading in a 30% success rate with a 70% failure rate. Does this sound like a good bet?!
The more time you spend in bed awake (rather than asleep), the more you train your mind that the bed is a place for wakefulness rather than sleep. In addition, the more time you spend in bed awake, the more time you spend worrying about sleep — and this makes sleep more difficult.
Sleep restriction is very difficult to commit to, but it only works with commitment. It normally takes a couple of weeks of absolute consistency before sleep begins to improve, and sleep restriction is best paired with stimulus control for the best results.
Sleep restriction and stimulus control are very hard over the short-term — and that’s precisely why sleeping pills are so popular.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Jesse. Can you describe a typical night for us? What time do you go to bed, when do you get out of bed, and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get on a typical night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear about the trouble you have with sleep. Periods of catchup sleep demonstrate that your capability to sleep has not gone away. What is likely happening is your natural urge and propensity to sleep is being negatively affected by your arousal system (also known as the ‘fight or flight’ response).
This is a survival mechanism that helps us delay sleep in times of danger. However, the arousal system is easily triggered. As soon as we ‘try’ to sleep, we activate the arousal system. As soon as we worry about sleep, we activate the arousal system.
Although the arousal system is effective at keeping us awake, sleep pressure eventually wins and forces us to sleep for a few days — exactly as you have described.
Once this sleep pressure has been relieved, the arousal system recovers its ability to suspend sleep. So, you get the familiar cycle of nights of poor sleep followed by nights of good sleep, and on and on.
It sounds as though your arousal system is extremely strong and you have a strong association between sleep (maybe even the bed, too) and wakefulness, worry, and stress. This makes these periods of poor sleep increasingly long as the arousal system becomes stronger while the other systems that control sleep (sleep pressure and the sleep/wake cycle) become weaker.
Did your doctor mention cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I)? This treatment option doesn’t require drugs and studies have proved that it is just as effective as sleeping pills over the short-term, and more effective than sleeping pills over the long-term.
CBT-I works because it helps address the thoughts and behaviors that usually interfere with sleep. In particular, it helps weaken the arousal system while strengthening sleep pressure and the sleep/wake cycle. Over time, the bed becomes a strong trigger for sleep rather than wakefulness.
You do NOT have to live with insomnia. Do not give up!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Being on medication for the long-term must be expensive — particularly since it seems that as soon as you stop taking the meds, insomnia returns.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
