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Thanks for the great question! As you’ll likely notice as you continue to work through the course, our focus here is on living a rich and meaningful life, independently of sleep and independently of difficult thoughts and feelings.
That’s because living a rich and meaningful life involves actions that matter to us. Actions that reflect (and serve) our values. And actions are always within our control. And the more we commit to actions that matter, the less power and influence sleep, difficult thoughts, and difficult feelings have over our lives.
So what truly matters in the example you shared is that you got out of bed earlier than usual to pick someone up — you committed to an action that was important to you. Your focus was on doing something that mattered. Living life.
The alternative would be not picking that person up, in an attempt to protect sleep (something you can’t control anyway).
So, unplanned interruptions are not a problem. Life ain’t perfect. It’s messy and it doesn’t always follow the plans we have for it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing — I wish you all the best!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, asthut! Nervous feelings and fears are natural and normal — they are evidence that your brain is doing its job of looking out for you. Many people find that when they (perhaps understandably!) try to fight or avoid those feelings they are more likely to struggle with them.
As you suggested, thinking about sleep isn’t necessary for sleep to happen. And, not thinking about sleep isn’t necessary for sleep to happen, either. Sleep can happen regardless of what we are thinking or feeling (or not thinking or feeling). When we go to war with our minds or wakefulness, though, sleep becomes very difficult.
How do you currently respond when those remaining difficult nights show up? How do you respond on the days following them?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby! You aren’t alone in experiencing that postpartum insomnia, Hannah. Many people have shared their own experiences with it here in the forum, and it’s mentioned in more than one podcast episode!
It sounds as though the more you try to make sleep happen, the more you struggle, and the more difficult everything becomes. If that’s the case, it might be time to practice a new approach.
This link might be a helpful place to start: https://insomniacoach.com/forums/topic/100-cured-from-postpartum-insomnia/
Is there anything useful there?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello again, Dinky!
What is your goal when you do that deep breathing and mindful meditation?
As you mentioned, hormones can influence sleep — but they don’t typically create or maintain chronic insomnia (that usually comes from all our understandable attempts to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Tisha and welcome to the forum! Are you deliberately trying to make sleep happen in two separate “shifts” at night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though the more you try to make sleep happen, the more difficult it seems to become — would you say that’s accurate?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I am yet to meet someone who knows how to switch their mind off, so it makes sense that you have found yourself unable to do that!
Since your experience tells you that you cannot turn your mind off, do you feel there’s a chance that all your understandable attempts to turn your mind off might be making things more difficult? If so, what might an alternative approach look like?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you are learning a lot from your experience!
You will always care about things that are important to you. If sleep is important to you, you are going to care about it — trying to pretend otherwise might not be helpful, and trying to fight that feeling might set you up for a struggle.
You know from experience that fighting wakefulness, fighting your thoughts, fighting your feelings is a strategy that can make things more difficult and that makes sense since sleep is probably going to be more difficult if you are at war with your mind during the night.
So, perhaps what might be tripping you up here is your belief that you need to “not care” — that you need to eliminate certain thoughts and feelings. An alternative strategy might be more aligned with how you started your post — moving away from the struggle that comes from trying to control what your experience tells you cannot be controlled. Moving away from trying to fight or avoid wakefulness, certain thoughts, certain feelings.
It’s OK to want a certain amount or type of sleep. That’s understandable! What matters is how you act in response to that desire. Do your actions help you drop the battle or do your actions make things more difficult? Do your actions reflect who you are and who you want to be and move you closer to the life you want to live? Or, do they pull you away from the life you want to live?
As for courage, it’s easy for us to believe that the absence of difficult thoughts and feelings is needed in order for us to act how we want to act. However, courage comes from acting even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings.
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Paciencia — it’s good to have you here 🙂
Tinnitus on top of insomnia definitely makes things more difficult and it is not a barrier to progress. You might find my podcast with Juergen helpful since he spoke about his experience with tinnitus, too: How Juergen improved his sleep by becoming more willing to experience wakefulness and difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Dinky (and Romans!) and welcome to the forum!
What you are experiencing isn’t unique or unusual. Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep and sleep cycles aren’t always 90 minutes in duration 🙂
As you mentioned, not all stressors can be controlled or eliminated and fortunately we can still control our actions in the presence of stressors — and our actions often determine whether we add more struggle and difficulty on top of this difficult stuff.
When you wake during the night, how do you currently respond in that moment?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear about your 12-year long struggle with insomnia, Kaku. Is the sleep medication working for you? When your mind starts to race at night, how do you respond?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Dan! It sounds as though you have taken a lot from the course and you have a keen awareness of how your actions can influence your level of struggle.
Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. If your body needs to generate more sleep, it’ll generate more sleep all by itself (no intervention is required). What typically makes falling back to sleep more difficult are our attempts to fall back to sleep — the more we try, the more we can struggle.
It sounds as though you are on the right track here; you are not fighting your thoughts and feelings. You are acknowledging them and allowing them to come and go as they choose.
Just as thoughts can come and go, the feeling of sleepiness can come and go, too. Trying to find or keep hold of sleepiness is an attempt to control how you feel — something that can create a struggle (and almost certainly send sleepiness into hiding)!
When you sit up in bed and read a book, what is your goal? What are you trying to achieve when you do that?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s a great question and I’d be happy to share my thoughts — but first, I’d like to hear from you! How do you think you can stop using weed for sleep (and why is that important to you)?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep studies aren’t usually helpful for chronic insomnia but they can help rule out the presence of other sleep issues (such as sleep apnea).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
