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Congratulations on getting some practice in with the sleep window!
Going to bed 30 minutes before the start of your sleep window might not be what created some sleep disruption — but it’s completely understandable that your problem solving mind came up with that as the reason 🙂
The sleep window is nothing more than a tool that is intended to help us move away from chasing after sleep by doing things like going to bed earlier or staying in bed later in an effort to make more sleep happen.
So, experiencing a difficult night while implementing a sleep window (or going to bed half-hour or so before it begins) isn’t unusual at all and isn’t a sign that the sleep window isn’t working or that a sleep window is the key to making sleep happen.
If the sleep window is helping you maintain a reasonably consistent out of bed time in the morning and helping you avoid going to bed way earlier in the night than you want to be going to bed in an effort to chase after sleep, it’s working 🙂
As for whether listening to a meditation app if you are still awake at a certain time is good or bad — what’s your intent?
Do you want to meditate because you love to meditate and that’s something that’s important to you and helps you live the life you want to live? If so, how can it be bad?
Are you meditating in an effort to make sleep happen or to control your thoughts or feelings? If so, does your experience tell you that you can directly and permanently make sleep happen or control your thoughts and feelings upon command through efforts such as meditation? If so, maybe the app is good!
If your experience tells you that you cannot make sleep happen or control your thoughts and feelings through effort, perhaps listening to the app might be setting you up for a struggle?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Perhaps you don’t need to get that idea out of your mind? It’s a thought — and you get to decide how to respond to it 🙂
Does getting out of bed and reading or staring at the wall in the guest room help you live the life you want to live — or is it an effort to control sleep or what your mind might choose to do? In that context, how workable is the action of getting out of bed and reading or staring at the wall in the guest room?
I wonder if there’s a possibility that you seem to just start to fall asleep around 5:30 AM since, as you get close to that time, you might be putting less pressure on yourself to make sleep happen since you know you’ve been awake for a long time anyway and that you’ll soon be starting your day?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are both very welcome 🙂
This stuff feels difficult because it is difficult — and both of you have demonstrated strengths of tenacity, curiosity, courage, determination, and self-kindness.
All of those strengths will be there for you to draw from as you continue to practice responding to this difficult stuff in a way that helps you practice moving toward the life you want to live and away from actions that can add more struggle and difficulty on top.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There is no evidence that chronic insomnia causes infertility — and I have worked with many clients who had babies (and were great parents) even when insomnia was present.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yes, insomnia sure can suck — and it often gets even more difficult the more energy we spend trying to fight or avoid it.
What was your goal when you got out of bed after 20 minutes of being awake or doing something else that was boring, and then “trying” again? Might that approach have been an attempt to fight wakefulness and make sleep happen?
Experiencing insomnia with less resistance is a big topic and it’s something we’ll be exploring in a lot of detail as the course progresses. It’s great to know that you are open to this approach and considering how it might be relevant to you, even at this very early stage!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing your progress!
Sometimes, as a bonus, we might find that we fall asleep or experience fewer or less intense thoughts and feelings after practicing the AWAKE exercise even though that’s not the goal of the exercise.
If that happens to anyone, I’d encourage them to enjoy those bonus side-effects and to keep in mind that the real goal with the AWAKE exercise is to practice experiencing wakefulness with a bit less struggle 🙂
It sounds as though you were both surprised and pleased by my suggestion that there’s no need to get out of bed just because you’re awake at night! It also sounds as though you are diligently practicing what we are exploring in the course and are finding a new approach helpful. Thanks again for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What your goal be, if you were to adjust your sleep window?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Glad to hear that was helpful!
I’m not sure you can shut your brain off from wanting to know, but you can choose not to track your sleep regardless of what your mind might be saying, suggesting, or even demanding!
Perhaps you might also thank it for looking out for you whenever it seems to want to track sleep?!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I suspect that, if given the choice between experiencing wakefulness along with difficult emotions or experiencing wakefulness without difficult emotions, most people would choose to experience wakefulness without difficult emotions!
Unfortunately, we cannot delete or block difficult emotions from our minds — as you know from experience. They show up when they want to, right? And, they can be really difficult to experience.
So, there are really only two ways of dealing with them:
1. Try to fight or avoid them (how workable is this approach according to your experience — does it free you from an ongoing and exhausting struggle and help you live the life you want to live?)
2. Practice experiencing them with less struggle while being kind to yourself, continuing to do things that matter, and continuing to act in ways that are aligned with who you are, the person you want to be, and the life you want to live.
It makes sense that you couldn’t necessarily do what you wanted to do when staying with family (or that it created some additional worry about disturbing them during the night — perhaps there’s a reminder of an important value there, too).
Perhaps it’s also easy to forget that staying with family might have been something that contributed more to your life compared to how you slept during that period?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sure sounds as though you’ve tried a lot to sleep through the night, Steve — would you say your experience suggests that you cannot make yourself sleep through the night through effort?
As we covered in Week 1, waking during the night is actually a normal part of sleep. So, perhaps trying to get rid of nighttime awakenings has the potential to pull you into a struggle that can make things more difficult?
What if you no longer tried quite so hard to fight or avoid waking during the night? How might things be different, do you think?
You might also want to ask yourself (and feel free to answer here, if you wish!) why sleeping past 4:00 AM is important to you. If you were sleeping right through the night, how would your life be different?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It makes complete sense that you try to fall back to sleep when you wake during the night.
It also sounds as though your experience might be telling you that the more you try to make sleep happen, the more difficult being awake becomes. Would you say that’s accurate?
If so, perhaps moving away from trying so hard to make sleep happen might help reduce the level of suffering and struggle you are experiencing?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Absolutely — you are the expert on you!
So, I really encourage everyone to approach what is explored in this course with an open and a curious mind — there are no strict or universal rules here since everyone is different.
Thanks for sharing, BorgC!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your experience! It sure sounds as though you are on a more workable path forward!
I took two key insights from your experience:
* You can still do things that matter (like run a half-marathon!), independently of sleep
* You can still achieve things that matter (like a job promotion!), independently of sleepAt the same time, it’s important to acknowledge that it can be harder to do things that matter and to live the life you want to live when you are struggling with insomnia and when difficult thoughts and feelings are present.
You will always think about things that are important (and, for that matter, not important!) because the human brain is a thought generating machine.
It’s when we try to fight certain thoughts (or feelings) that we can create a struggle that makes things more difficult since that can consume so much of our energy and attention and pull us away from doing things that matter (and, in turn, the life we want to live).
Reading your post, what seems to be particularly encouraging is the fact you are moving toward the life you want to live. We never reach the destination — we never truly achieve the life we want to live, right? If we did, what would be the point in living? The life we want to live is something we are always working toward. When one goal is achieved, we find other goals.
So, perhaps what matters most is not necessarily how your life feels right now — but the direction in which you are heading. That’s also something you can control — as you’ve shared. You can respond to this difficult stuff by moving away from the life you want to live, or by continuing to move toward the life you want to live.
Waking is a normal part of sleep — so the fact you are waking is not unusual or mysterious! What matters is how you respond. You can try to fight or avoid being awake (where does that get you) or you can practice responding in a way that might not create so much struggle and might free up energy and attention to keep doing what matters.
In short, it sounds as though you are on the right track — perhaps it’s a case of continuing to move forward, if you feel your current approach is proving to be more workable that the approach you took in the past?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Glad to hear you’re finding the course helpful — I’ve moved your post from the public forum into the client forum so it might be more visible to others who are also going through the course 🙂
As you may remember from earlier in the course, waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. So, waking after 90 minutes or so (even every 90 minutes or so) is not unusual — especially when we consider that an “average” sleep cycle is about 90 minutes long.
What can make these awakenings more difficult (and more noticeable!) is trying to figure them out, trying to fight them, or trying to avoid them.
As far as sleep is concerned, it doesn’t care if it’s being tracked or not — it’ll do what it’s going to do regardless.
With that being said:
Many people have found that the more they track sleep, the more focus and attention they place on sleep. That heightened focus and attention can consume more energy and attention, has the potential to create a struggle, and can make it harder to do things that matter and live the life we want to live.
You might want to ask yourself this — how is tracking sleep (or awakenings!) helping you? What is it teaching you that you don’t already know? How is it helping you live the life you want to live?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds really difficult, Kiki. I appreciate you sharing your experience with us.
It sounds as though your sleep is really inconsistent and that your experience tells you that even though you might think you are going to die when you’re caught up in the middle of this struggle, you still get through it — and sleep always happens in the end.
Difficult nights happen from time to time, just as difficult days happen from time to time. What can make them hard to shake off is trying to shake them off — in other words, the more we try to fight or avoid insomnia, the more oxygen we give insomnia. It’s a bit like a playground bully.
Your body will always generate — at the very least — the minimum amount of sleep it needs. That’s why you’re still with us today. And, there’s no evidence that chronic insomnia causes dementia or any other health problem for that matter.
Ultimately, the key to moving away from insomnia is to explore (and practice) ways of moving away from struggling with insomnia. You might find it helpful to dip into some episodes of the Insomnia Coach podcast — if nothing else, that might offer you some comfort that you are not alone.
I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
