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Welcome to the course, @festik!
You know from experience that doing things that matter and living a life that reflects your values is a helpful way to respond to sleep not happening as you might want it to. With that approach, you don’t give sleep more power and influence over your life.
At present, you are noticing your mind generating lots of difficult, uncomfortable, and distracting thoughts and feelings. And, because you identify them as an obstacle to sleep, you are trying to fight (resist) or avoid them.
Your experience seems to tell you that you cannot directly or permanently control what your mind is doing as it does its job of looking out for you. The more you try, the more you struggle and the more difficult all that stuff gets.
The jerks you describe can be one of those uncomfortable feelings or sensations that you’d rather not experience and you cannot directly control. And if they are out of your control, there’s only one possible outcome every time you try to fight or avoid them…
You shared that you’ve tried to accept them — and it sounds like you feel that doesn’t work because they don’t go away. If you are accepting something with the goal of getting rid of that thing, is that true acceptance?
As you reflect on what you’ve shared, what — if anything — is the opportunity presenting itself to you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Lokidc 🙂
First, I would suggest (if you haven’t done so already) speaking with your doctor if you are regularly finding it hard to stay awake during the day since that can be a symptom of other issues (such as sleep apnea).
If your issue is related more to falling asleep closer to bedtime when you are relaxing and unwinding, and then finding it hard to fall asleep at bedtime — that is not unusual!
It sounds like when there is no intention or effort or pressure to make sleep happen, it seems to be more likely to show up.
How does that compare to when you go to bed — and what’s the insight here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You can control the action of staying up late if that’s important to you. And your experience tells you that you cannot control or program yourself to sleep to a certain time of the day. So, there seems to be a conflict here between what you want and what you can control.
What do you mean when you say that you feel so much “peace” sleeping in? What is peace? What makes the presence of peace so important to you? What other sources — if any — of peace are there (or could there be) in your life?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! You are taking action and you are learning from what you are doing.
You have learned that you can sleep without medication even though you thought that was not going to be possible.
Taking meaningful and important action (in this case, tapering off the medication) is moving you closer to where you want to be. That compares to taking action solely in response to whatever thoughts your problem-solving mind might generate as it does its job of looking out for you (such as “you’ll never sleep without medication”!).
You are moving in the direction you want to be heading. That’s progress, no doubt about it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Colibri and welcome to the forum. Things are really difficult for you. And you have a number of superpowers including problem-solving, commitment, resilience, curiosity, and determination.
Your experience seems to be telling you that the more you try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more difficult it becomes.
Your experience also seems to be telling you that the more you try to fight, avoid, or control whatever thoughts and feelings show up (or might show up) the more difficult they become.
Of course, you want to get a certain amount or type of sleep. That’s totally understandable! So you try harder. That makes complete sense.
Of course, you don’t want to experience anxiety and panic attacks. Who does?! So you try harder to fight or avoid them. That makes complete sense, too.
And those strategies don’t seem to be moving you closer to where you want to be. The endless and exhausting struggle is pulling you away from the life you want to live. Your actions are also less likely to reflect who you are and who you want to be.
Your experience tells you that you can sleep. Your experience tells you that in the past, sleep happened without effort. Without trying.
What changes — if any — do you need to make to move closer to where you want to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Although it’s quite old now, this video and all the comments that go with it might be useful:
Why you jerk yourself awake every time you try to fall asleep (and what to do about it)
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m curious — what makes sleeping late so important to you? What would you be doing differently with your life if that happened?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Michael! You are noticing positive change because of your commitment to action. You put in the work. Change is not easy!
What do you mean when you say “not thinking bad thoughts”? How do you successfully not think something?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You have a strong commitment to action!
Since this forum isn’t set up for private messaging and my approach tends to be more about doing less to try to make sleep happen, I am not sure how easy it will be for you to find an accountability partner for the plan you have in mind.
With that being said, I am keen to hear what you learn on your journey!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Neither of you are alone! The body never forgets how to sleep. What we can forget is that sleep is not something we do — it’s something that happens to us.
The more we try, the more we can struggle. The key to moving away from the struggle might be figuring out how to move away from all the trying. All the effort. All the battling.
If you reflect on a time when sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern — what did you do to make that effortless sleep happen? How was your approach back then different compared to now?
Your own experience likely holds all the answers you seek.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to you both!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are making progress, @Pam1129! To answer your question — no human being will sleep through the night without waking. Waking during the night for very short periods of time is natural and normal — it’s what keeps us alive and safe.
Waking as many as 10-20 times each hour of the night wouldn’t necessarily be unusual. It’s just that, for us to remember them, they need to last for at least five minutes.
Most awakenings don’t last that long so someone who pays very little attention to sleep can easily believe they slept right through the night. The reality is, they didn’t.
Often, the more we might try to fight, avoid, or get rid of those awakenings the greater our response to them — and that can mean they last longer. In turn, they become more memorable and more of a perceived problem.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The human body doesn’t require supplements to generate sleep and the action of trying to make sleep happen through the use of supplements (or anything else) might create more difficulty and more struggle.
I’m curious to know why you are investigating supplements as an alternative (or supplement to!) what you are learning in the course?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds like trying to make sleep happen (or trying to stop your brain thinking) is something that’s not really working for you. So, perhaps the time of day you are in bed isn’t the main issue here — perhaps it’s what the intention is behind your actions. What your goal is.
If your intention is to make sleep happen or stop your brain thinking then perhaps that’s creating more difficulty. If your intention is to rest, perhaps that’s more workable — as long as you aren’t spending your days resting rather than living your life!
We’ll be exploring all these issues in more detail as you work through the course. Hopefully this offers you something to consider in the meantime!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Alas, I am not a postpartum mom but I can tell you that many have been through the course and found it helpful! If you have any questions or would be kind enough to share any insights as you work through the course, feel free to post them in the client forum 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
