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Congratulations on the new baby! What you are experiencing is hard and it’s not unique or unusual. You definitely are not alone!
Hopefully there’s something useful here: 100% cured from postpartum insomnia
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Rough patches can be disappointing and frustrating and they are also normal and to be expected.
What matters is how you respond. How are you choosing to respond? What specific tools from the course are you practicing, and why?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @PamelaLee and welcome to the forum! You have a clear awareness that a strategy of fighting insomnia might be a losing battle, since sleep is something that’s out of our direct control.
Fortunately, we can always control how we approach sleep and how we respond to insomnia — and that’s what truly matters.
What does accepting difficult nights mean to you? If you were successfully doing that, what would be different?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @Tiredgirl30! Not putting pressure on yourself to make sleep happen is a great start! And, when it comes to sleep, it’s often about doing less rather than doing more.
Have the free sleep training emails offered anything useful?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
No need to get out of bed if you don’t want to! What matters here is giving yourself an alternative to battling and struggling, trying to control what your experience might be telling you cannot be controlled (sleep, what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling). That can be done in bed or out of bed
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum and thanks for the great question!
Experiencing panic/fear and noticing your mind ruminating is natural and normal. Your brain is always going to generate all different thoughts and feelings as it does its job of looking out for you.
How do you currently respond to those difficult/distracting thoughts and how is that response working for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep can happen whether we feel sleepy or not — we just need to be awake for long enough for sleep to happen.
Most of us feel sleepy when we’ve been awake for long enough but if we have a lot of experience of struggling with sleep, heightened arousal can suppress sleepiness cues. That doesn’t mean they aren’t present, just that we might not notice them as easily.
This is a survival mechanism — the brain doesn’t want us to fall asleep if it thinks we are in danger (and, when it comes to insomnia, the brain can believe that being awake at night is a danger since we are often trying so hard to fight or avoid it).
Sometimes committing to a sleep window can help with this.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Some people have found that when they try to stay awake, it can actually become harder to stay awake (perhaps because there is no longer any effort to make sleep happen).
What you’ve shared is one example of “exposure therapy”. And, perhaps you don’t need to force yourself to say up all night if you have the opportunity to experience periods of wakefulness each night anyway?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds really difficult. It sounds as though your experience is telling you that sleep is, ultimately, out of your control. You can set the stage for sleep but, beyond that, there’s nothing you can do to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen.
Fortunately, you always get to choose how you approach each night, how you respond to insomnia, how you respond to any difficult thoughts and feelings that often show up with insomnia, and what you do each day.
And, how you respond can often determine your level of struggle and/or how much power and influence all this difficult stuff has over your life.
What, specifically, are you looking to achieve here? What specific advice are you looking for? What is your primary goal?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing your take, Jolanta! Are you saying that you feel your level of struggle and/or the power and influence this difficult stuff has over your life is less to do with the fact it is present and more to do with how you choose to respond to it?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Eric! Good on you for digging into your toolbox and getting some practice in with the tools you’ve learned about!
Remember that the AWAKE exercise isn’t intended to get rid of dread or any other thought or feeling. That might happen from time to time as a bonus side-effect, but it’s not the goal. For as long as you are doing something with the intent of getting rid of certain thoughts and feelings (or making sleep happen) you are probably going to end up setting yourself up for a struggle and feeling stuck.
The AWAKE exercise is intended to help you practice building skill in experiencing wakefulness and all the thoughts and feelings that can come with it with less struggle. Being more of an observer rather than opponent. Making space for that stuff to be present, even though you might wish it wasn’t present.
As they say, what we resist persists, When there’s less resistance all this stuff is better able to flow. To come and go. And, when it has more space and doesn’t draw us into a battle it’s not going to have as much power and influence over us.
Finally, I would add this. Remember that you aren’t alone. Be kind to yourself. Part of being kind to yourself involves acknowledging that things feel difficult because they are difficult. And your difficulties are being shared among millions of others around the world. Talk to yourself kindly. Act toward yourself kindly. And, continue to act in ways that reflect who you are and who you want to be.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
it sounds as though you are responding to wakefulness and all the difficult (and natural and normal) thoughts and feelings that can come with that wakefulness in a workable way by doing something other than going to war with them.
As you know from experience, all that difficult stuff is out of your direct control and trying to control what cannot be controlled can set you up for more struggle and more difficulty. Not to mention the fact that being engaged in an endless battle is exhausting!
You ask a great question about whether positive affirmations might be helpful to practice. Perhaps it comes down to this: What’s your goal or intent behind those positive affirmations? And, if they worked, what would be different?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Since you are the expert on you, what do you think you should do and why? Only you know whether choosing to sleep from 6:00 AM to noon is a problem or not.
Some things to consider here:
What actions would best reflect who you are and the life you want to live?
What actions are most workable — aimed at controlling what can be controlled (rather than what cannot be controlled)?
What actions will move you closer to the life you want to live (rather than away from the life you want to live)?
What actions will help reduce the power and influence sleep has over your life?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s great to hear that you are committing to change by implementing a sleep window! Remember that a sleep window cannot make a certain amount or type of sleep happen — if that’s your goal, it’s going to be hard to move away from the struggle.
The sleep window is simply a tool that can help move you away from chasing after sleep, since it gives you an earliest bedtime and a consistent out of bed time. As you know from experience, the more you chase after sleep the more elusive it can become!
Remember, too, that waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. And, since you have a problem-solving brain that is doing its job of looking out for you, you are likely to notice a lot of thoughts and feelings showing up when you wake during the night.
What can often make these awakenings and all the thoughts and feelings that might show up with them so much more difficult are all our understandable attempts to fight or avoid them. That response only draws us into a battle that makes them more difficult, gives them more power and influence, reduces the likelihood of sleep happening (since we are now waging war during the night), and creates more fatigue and exhaustion.
If your experience tells you that sleep and the thoughts and feelings you experience are out of your direct and permanent control, perhaps it’s all the ongoing attempts to control what cannot be controlled that’s creating the ongoing struggle you described so well?
If that’s the case, did Week 2 give you any ideas on how you might practice responding to all this difficult stuff in a different way?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for getting the practice in! You might not always be able to calm your nervous system (we don’t usually have direct or permanent control over that) — but you always get to choose how to respond to the nervous system doing things you’d rather it didn’t do! And, how you respond can often determine your level of struggle and how much power and influence it has over you. Thanks for letting me know you found that to be an empowering thought. I feel the same!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
