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Thoughts and feelings don’t stop sleep from happening — but trying to fight or avoid them sure can! I don’t know of anyone who fell asleep when engaged in a battle — and that’s just what we are doing when we start fighting with what’s going on in our minds!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, umbra! You aren’t alone and there’s nothing unusual in your experience.
That tossing and turning doesn’t sound pleasant — I wonder if it might be a bit kinder to yourself to do something more appealing when you’re awake (and that wakefulness doesn’t feel good) instead of tossing and turning for hours?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yikes, that’s not a great message to hear — that you’ll be doomed to sleep issues for the rest of your life. I don’t know of any clinical evidence to support such a claim!
Ultimately, insomnia exists for as long as we “try” to sleep, for as long as we “try” to avoid wakefulness, and for as long as we “try” to fight or avoid all the difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions that like to come along for the ride.
That’s because we cannot control any of these things. The more we try, the more we struggle. And, that struggle is usually exhausting and can lead us away from living the kind of life we want to live.
An alternative approach is to move away from that natural desire to control the difficult stuff we can’t control. To allow it to exist, and then use all the spare energy we have freed up to do things that help us move toward the kind of life we want to live.
When we are doing things that help us move toward the kind of life we want to live — even in the presence of all the difficult stuff — the difficult stuff might start to have less of an influence over us.
If we can drop the struggle and the attempts to control what cannot be controlled, we might start to do a bit better.
I hope there’s something helpful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum — you’ve got this!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Waking is a normal part of sleep and is completely out of your control!
I’d suggest adjusting your sleep window whenever you feel ready to do so and however you feel might be most appropriate for you. The sleep window can’t generate sleep, it simply prevents you from chasing after sleep.
Sleep efficiency isn’t a representation of the quality of your life — what you do when awake is what determines the kind of life you live!
You might want to make the hour before the sleep window begins the last time you check the time and then simply allow yourself to go to bed whenever you feel sleepy enough for sleep.
When you travel, I’d suggest keeping things the same if that’s workable for you. So whatever your sleep window is at home, keep it the same (destination time) when you are away. So, 12:00 AM to 6:30 AM stays as 12:00 AM to 6:30 AM — it doesn’t become 2:00 AM to 8:30 AM.
There will likely be some sleep disruption when you cross timezones — and that’s normal and to be expected. What’s more important is the fact you’re living the kind of life you want to live, even when difficult nights happen and even when you experience some of the difficult thoughts and feelings that usually come along for the ride.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I really appreciate the update — thanks for that! I’m a big fan of the DARE book!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I don’t think we can stop worry, at least not over the long term — and we probably don’t want to, since the mind worries because it’s trying its best to look out for us.
Sometimes the worry generated by the mind is helpful and sometimes it’s not. So, when we experience worry, instead of trying to fight that, it might be more helpful to take a breath and ask yourself if that worry or thought is helpful. If it is, great — take action (if you have control over the source of that worry)! If it’s not helpful (or you don’t have control over the source of that worry), maybe you just thank your brain for looking out for you and then refocus your attention on where you are and what you are doing.
Of course, your brain will probably cycle through this over and over — and yet, that’s OK because you can respond in the same way over and over. Take a pause, decide how to respond, then take action!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your experience just sounds like typical insomnia — nothing unusual here! I wonder if there might still be some desire here, and that might be the final obstacle?
It can also be helpful to recognize that waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. It’s only when we try to avoid this, or otherwise put effort into sleep or put pressure on ourselves to sleep that we tend to find it hard to fall back to sleep.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think that can definitely be helpful — without anxiety I doubt insomnia can really exist! With that being said, I don’t think it’s anxiety itself that disrupts sleep — I think it’s our battle with it.
Because anxiety doesn’t feel good, we usually try to fight or avoid it. Those attempts to fight or avoid anxiety get us tangled up in an endless (and exhausting!) battle and that’s what I think truly makes sleep more difficult.
So, if we can work on allowing anxiety to exist — to make some space for it — and continue to engage in activities that help us live the kind of life we want to live, anxiety might have less of an influence over our lives (and our sleep).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Waking is a normal part of sleep. What can make falling back to sleep more difficult is our desire to avoid nighttime wakefulness — because then we might be tempted to put effort into falling back to sleep or put pressure on ourselves to fall back to sleep.
Since wakefulness is a normal part of sleep I think it can be helpful to remind yourself of that when you wake. It can also be helpful not to check the time — because that can set off a big struggle with sleep. Finally, it might be helpful to simply remain in bed when awake, for as long as that wakefulness feels comfortable.
If your body wants to generate more sleep and if conditions are right for more sleep to happen, more sleep will happen.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the update! All the improvements you are enjoying are down to your own natural ability to sleep!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you are/were struggling with a lot of the stuff that’s out of your control: sleep itself, anxiety, etc.
I wonder how much energy you might free up to do all the things you want to do with your life if you are able to drop that struggle and allow difficult thoughts and feelings to exist instead? To acknowledge their presence, allow them to come and go as they please, and do things that are important to you regardless of whether they’re currently hanging out or not?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What I think can be really helpful is recognizing what we can control and what we cannot control.
Things we can’t control include sleep, our thoughts, our feelings, and our emotions. The more we try to control what we cannot control, the more we will struggle (and that struggle can be exhausting!).
Fortunately, we can always control our actions — and if we can shift attention here, all the difficult stuff that exists as part of being a human being might start to have less of an influence over us.
So, for example, it can be helpful to acknowledge difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions (such as fatigue and irritability) rather than trying to eliminate them. Then, while making space for that difficult stuff to exist, we might engage in activities that are aligned with our values and help us move toward the kind of life we want to live.
I hope there’s something helpful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I wonder if the “missing piece” might be the struggle with anxiety? For as long as we try to fight or avoid anxiety, we’ll continue to get tangled up in an endless (and exhausting!) battle with it.
The more we try to sleep, the more we try to avoid wakefulness, the more we try to control our thoughts and feelings, the more challenging all these things become — because we cannot control them!
I wonder if making space for anxiety to exist, to acknowledge its presence and allow it to hang out for as long as it likes, might be a huge weight off your shoulders?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What would you be doing differently in your life if you woke to your alarm each day rather than waking an hour or so before it went off?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
