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It might be helpful to ask your girlfriend why she feels she finds it hard to sleep around others and go from there.
Some initial things she might try are making sure she isn’t going to bed before she feels sleepy enough for sleep (it can be tempting to go to bed at the same time as our bed partners even if we aren’t feeling sleepy ourselves) and to get out of bed if she wakes during the night and finds it hard to fall back to sleep. She might then return to bed when she feels calm and relaxed and repeat the process as needed (this can help address any conditioned arousal). A consistent out of bed time can be helpful, too.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Try not to feel guilty for taking medication as prescribed by your doctor! Sometimes it can be helpful to make time during the day to identify the thoughts that are generating the anxiety you feel during the night — when you identify these thoughts you can then evaluate them for accuracy. When you do this, we can sometimes see that the thoughts that generate so much worry aren’t even particularly accurate!
If you wake during the night, I think it’s OK to stay in bed if you feel calm and relaxed enough for sleep — because conditions are right for sleep! If, however, being in bed doesn’t feel good this is a good cue to get out of bed and do something relaxing and enjoyable. Not only is this a more appealing alternative to staying in bed and struggling, but it prevents you from reinforcing the idea that your bed is a place for unpleasant wakefulness!
There are plenty of success stories here:
1. Insomnia Success Stories forum
2. Insomnia Coach Podcast
3. Client Success Stories and Case StudiesI hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Unfortunately, this is one of those questions that is impossible to answer because nobody can accurately predict the future!
It’s often helpful to focus on the process rather than the outcome — if you implement CBT-I techniques consistently and focus all your attention and effort on implementation, your sleep will almost certainly start to improve. As your sleep improves and you worry less about your sleep, your sleep will likely continue to improve.
Ultimately, as we start to worry less about sleep and continue to tackle the thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate insomnia, we give sleep the best chance possible — when we reach this stage, if the body is capable of (and wants) more sleep, it will generate more sleep.
I hope this helps! How are you getting on since you posted?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
How are you getting on since you posted, @LMR? Glad to hear you are only going to bed when you feel sleepy — is this around the same time each day? When do you normally get out of bed to start your day and roughly how many hours of sleep do you get, on average?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum!
As pointed out by Deb, natural remedies and pills aren’t a long-term solution for insomnia, because they don’t address the thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate insomnia.
Have you looked into, or tried, cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I)?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Sally! How are you getting on since you posted?
Sleep restriction doesn’t usually lead to more sleepiness because your initial sleep window should always be a little bit longer than your average nightly sleep duration. Since the goal of the sleep window is to build sleep drive during the day and reduce the amount of time you spend awake at night, it often leads to lower levels of anxiety — if you are able to stick to an appropriate window for at least a few weeks.
With that being said, if you do feel a bit more sleepy in the short-term, sometimes this can be a reasonable trade-off in return for better sleep for the long-term!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Have you tried getting out of bed when you wake in the middle of the night and find yourself struggling with sleep? Doing this repeatedly, in combination with a regular and appropriate sleep window, can help lower arousal and the accumulation of sleep drive can help reduce the amount of time you spend awake at night.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s entirely possible that you may have conditioned yourself to wake around 3:00 AM. If that’s the case, there are things you can do to “recondition” yourself to minimize the frequency and duration of those awakenings.
Observing an appropriate and consistent sleep window will ensure enough sleep drive builds during the day to help you sleep at night (and reduce the amount of time you spend awake at night) and getting out of bed when being in bed doesn’t feel good will help address any conditioned arousal.
These two techniques do require consistent implementation if they are going to be helpful — and it usually takes a few weeks before you’ll notice results. If you are finding it hard to stick to these techniques, you might want to engage the help of a CBT-I therapist or a sleep coach with a proven track record of helping people with insomnia.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
How are you getting on with that sleep window, Ron? Any changes since you originally posted? Have you been getting out of bed when you wake during the night if remaining in bed doesn’t feel good? This can help address any conditioned arousal that might be making it difficult for you to fall back to sleep.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Manfred. Sorry to hear of your recent setback. It can be helpful to remind yourself that it’s completely normal to experience temporary sleep disruption from time to time. If sleep doesn’t recover by itself after a week or two, you are at a big advantage because you know exactly what to do to get your sleep back on track — you just re-implement all the techniques that you know from experience are helpful!
It will take time to rebuild sleep confidence — and every night of better sleep builds and reinforces sleep confidence.
Remember that it’s only ever our thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate sleep issues — if we don’t allow sleep to take over our thoughts and if we don’t implement unhelpful behaviors (such as spending too much time in bed, canceling plans, modifying our days, endlessly researching sleep) then we can ensure that temporary sleep disruption doesn’t become a longer-term problem.
I hope this helps, Manfred — you know exactly what to do to get your sleep back on track.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing your inspirational transformation, Fiona!
It’s quite remarkable to consider that you were battling insomnia for ten years, averaging between one and three hours of sleep — and after just eight weeks you were falling asleep within 20 minutes of getting into bed and getting at least six hours of unbroken sleep!
As you quite rightly pointed out, the techniques you learned are challenging to implement — especially during the first few weeks. However, if you remain consistent and committed, they will always get you results!
You now have the skills you need to get your sleep back on track should it ever become disrupted again in the future. You also know, from experience, that you are able to sleep naturally and you are able to improve your sleep all by yourself — without pills, gadgets, or gizmos!
Thanks again for sharing your story. It was a pleasure to work with you.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
In my experience, believing that the next day will be ruined or impossible to get through is one of the biggest beliefs among people with chronic insomnia — and this is quite ironic because people with chronic insomnia are experts when it comes to getting through the day after very little (or no) sleep!
I think it can be very helpful to evaluate any thoughts that are generating worry and anxiety because doing this in a methodical way can help us see that the thoughts we have are rarely as accurate as they first seem to be! When we can identify the flaws in these thoughts (and recognize that thoughts are just thoughts, not facts) we strip them of their power.
Furthermore, giving ourselves the opportunity to disprove them can be helpful, too. So, if a primary concern is daytime performance, making the effort to add enjoyable and enriching activities to our days can help us recognize that we have far more control over the quality of our day than our previous night of sleep does!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Ron. I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed several months of good sleep until around six weeks ago. This means that, just as you enjoyed better sleep before, you can do so again!
Did anything happen six weeks ago to trigger your most recent bout of sleep difficulties?
If you wake and no longer feel sleepy, and don’t feel worried or anxious, you might simply no longer be sleepy enough for sleep. How are you feeling during the day? Do you feel high levels of fatigue? Are you falling asleep or napping during the day?
When you were sleeping well, what time were you going to bed at night and when were you getting out of bed to start your day?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear about the negative effect insomnia is having on your life. You are NOT alone, and you can get through this!
I am so encouraged that you have learned about cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) and are implementing CBT-I techniques.
These techniques do require commitment, consistency, and a lot of effort — so I would encourage you to keep going! Which techniques are you currently implementing? Is your psychologist helping you with this?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Difficult nights are completely normal and to be expected! Sometimes, it can be helpful to recognize any potential external cause — in your case, you know that sleep was more difficult as soon as you started to overthink or worry about sleep.
In the short-term, you don’t really need to do anything since difficult nights from time to time are completely normal. Avoid the temptation to modify your day or compensate for a difficult night of sleep since this can make it harder for your sleep to recover.
So, if you have a bad night, continue to get out of bed at the same time. Continue with your day as normal. Stay active, don’t cancel plans, and don’t go to bed earlier the following night.
If, after a couple of weeks, sleep doesn’t improve, then you can simply re-implement all the techniques that helped you before. So, as suggested by Jennifer, you can start following a more appropriate sleep window.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
